


someone let the poets out

by kindclaws



Series: bingo, chopped, and prompts [5]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Angst with a Happy Ending, Epistolary, Excessive Touching and Canoodling, F/M, Found Family, Grief/Mourning, Mixed Media, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Social Media, This reads like a love letter to fandom, author does not like or trust jroth and it shows, do NOT read this on mobile or turn off the work skin or i swear to god i'll punch you in the throat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2020-11-02 13:28:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 41,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20762588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kindclaws/pseuds/kindclaws
Summary: Bellamy has spent most of the last six years assuming that at some point, he’s going to have to kiss Clarke. They’re the main leads on a show, and that’s what main leadsdo.So it’s a bit of a shock when they finally get the script for the final season and itsucks.Clarke bangs on his door that night and says they should film their own low-budget last season. It’s kind of a joke, but Bellamy agrees. Partially because he hates the canon ending. And partially because he knows he’ll never work up the courage to kiss her otherwise.aka the mixed media social media au that predicted jroth was going to wreck himself before jroth himself thought of it *dagger emoji*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **CONTENT WARNINGS:** An important part of this story is that Wells has died a few months ago and his friends are grieving for him. I've aimed for an emotional tone that's a little sad, but is mostly people trying very hard to be happy because they know it's what he would want. I hope the end result is comforting, but if this topic hits close to home for you, please take care. Other content warnings include casual alcohol consumption, quite a bit of swearing, and the invasiveness of fame.
> 
> My last mixed media fic, a few years ago, was image-based, and not accessible. For this one I pieced together MANY html/css tutorials, trying to recreate the social media vibe I wanted while, ideally, maintaining readability for anyone using technology like screenreaders, but honestly, the code is a mess, and I have no idea how it would be interpreted in audio. I absolutely welcome advice and criticism on this front, but repairs to the fic may take quite some time because of my real life. 
> 
> **If you are reading this on mobile,** oh my god don't do that to yourself, the formatting will suck so much. Boot up your desktop, ffs. **If you are reading this with workskins turned off,** asdfghjkm, just. just hit the back button.
> 
> **PERMISSIONS:** I can't stop you from downloading and saving this fic locally, but I'd rather you didn't. I make frequent revisions, and if I ever decide I hate it I'll orphan rather than deleting it. I'm open to translations and podfics, but please contact me on tumblr first. Do not upload to other sites. Do not claim as your own.

#

  


The moment Clarke walks out of airport security, Bellamy takes a sharp breath in. It's been four months since he's seen her, since she flew out three days after the funeral, but it feels like longer even though they've texted nearly every day. He raises a hand from the back of the crowd waiting for their loved ones as she stops by the doors and scans the hall. It's been four months since Bellamy shaved, too, and it takes her a few seconds longer to recognize him. He can see the moment that it clicks. Her shoulders drop, like she's putting down a heavy burden, and there's a flicker of a smile across her face. He peels himself off the column he's leaning against as she power-walks towards him, dragging a single suitcase behind her. It's the one with the squeaky wheel - she took it to the last con they attended together. For some reason it makes him smile.

"I didn't know you could grow that much beard," she says, a little breathless, a little teasing as she gets close. Up close she doesn't look so good - a puffiness around her eyes that makeup can't hide, a subtle brittleness to the smile that no paparazzi would recognize. It doesn't matter. Or, it does, but not in the usual way. She always looks beautiful to him. 

"I didn't know either," he answers, opening up his arms. She lets go of her suitcase and nearly stumbles into him, hasty enough that he has to take a step backwards to balance them both. He wraps his arms around her waist and buries his nose in the unruly blonde curls that tickle his nose. It's Clarke, and she's here, and now that she's here he's going to make her actual, healthy dinners, and read out the latest crazy fan theories to her until she laughs, and make sure she's really as okay as she's been saying she is in her texts.

Because he doesn't quite believe it. 

But for a moment, he leaves that to the future, and just closes his eyes and lets himself enjoy the solid warmth of her body in his arms. When she pulls back reluctantly, the sound of the airport around them comes snapping back like an elastic released. Clarke clears her throat, and Bellamy's eyes dart around the arrivals hall, looking for anyone pointing a smartphone in their direction and looking happier than they should be. 

"Let's get you settled in," he says, after the coast seems clear. He grabs the suitcase - the squeaky wheel has gotten _worse_ \- and resists the urge to hold her hand on their way out. It brushes against his, knuckle to knuckle, subtle enough that it must be an accident. He glances at her but she doesn't seem to have noticed, her eyes distant. 

"What time is the rewatch party?" Clarke says, once they've tossed her suitcase in the back and she's buckled up in the passenger seat. It might be calculated, on her part, to ask when he's supposed to be watching the road and not her reaction. He wouldn't put it past her.

"5," he says. 

She counts on her fingers. 

"So we're going until.... 2 am?" she asks.

"Raven couldn't get an earlier flight in," he says, half-apologetically, though it's not his fault. Jasper's organizing it. "So if you want to pick anything up from town, say so now."

"Booze?" Clarke asks. "Harper said something about doing that drinking game again. You know, drink every time someone on-screen says _'my people'_?"

Bellamy snickers. 

"Yeah, I remember it," he says. "What do you want? Miller and I stocked up pretty well already, I can spot you."

"Something light," Clarke says. "I want to be able to wake up for the table-read tomorrow."

"We could do cider, rum and coke, whatever fruity nightmare concoction Monty's doing this year," he reels off. 

"That'll be fine," Clarke says faintly, and then she turns the radio on to a quiet indie station and closes her eyes for the rest of the drive. At the traffic light Bellamy looks over at her, tracing the familiar slope of her nose, the profile of her lips. She looks good in Lyza's makeup, but he likes her most like this. He _doesn't_ like how incredibly tired she looks, and stares at her, wondering what to do, for long enough that he doesn't notice the light turning green. Clarke's eyes open as the car behind them honks derisively. 

"I'm going, I'm going," Bellamy mutters to it, and he's pleased to see Clarke's lips twitch upwards out of the corner of his eye. 

"The people in this city have no compassion for geriatric drivers," she says, and he gives her an unimpressed look. 

"This geriatric driver is bringing you home," he says. "I'll leave you at the airport next time."

"There won't be a next time," Clarke says automatically, and Bellamy reels at that. "Sorry," she says quickly. "Still hasn't sunk in for me either."

"Maybe we'll be on another project together," Bellamy says. _Or maybe I'll figure out how to tell you I love you, and I won't need another project as an excuse to see you again._ Clarke makes a quiet, noncommittal hum, and then they're in Monty's neighbourhood. 

It's a nice suburb, honestly, mostly filled with families with a lot of children who are too young to watch their show or care about the lives of actors, and the adults keep to themselves. The smell of barbeque drifts on the breeze after Bellamy parks down the street, so clearly they're not the only ones taking advantage of the warm Sunday evening. He pops open the trunk and is about to reach for Clarke's squeaky suitcase when she hugs him again, her arms painfully tight around his ribcage. 

"Woah, Clarke," he says, nervously letting his hands rest on her shoulders. "Are you all right?"

"I hate goodbyes," she says. "I _suck_ at letting people leave my life. And this whole last season - it's going to feel like one really long goodbye."

"It doesn't have to be," Bellamy says, though privately he's terrified of that himself. "We'll see each other again. We can meet up. Hell, we've kept the rewatch parties going for five years. Statistically speaking, that's enough for a tradition."

Clarke huffs a laugh. She pulls back and wipes at one eye, too fast for him to catch any glimpse of tears. 

"I just..." she says, her eyes searching his for something unknown.

"You won't lose me," Bellamy promises, and watches her exhale roughly. Like the moment in the airport when she'd first caught sight of him, her shoulders relax, some of the tension melting away. He wonders how he missed it creeping back in. 

"All right," she says. "I'll - I'll come inside in a minute. I just need a minute."

Bellamy touches her shoulder gently, once, and forces himself to leave her at the end of the driveway, looking small and lost and overwhelmed. He looks back after ringing the doorbell, and quietly realizes that he can't tell her he loves her. Not now, not if it risks the end of their friendship. Because she needs them, right now. They all need each other, and Bellamy has been aching for the hope that one day she'll wake up in his bed and he'll get to kiss her and make her breakfast and hold her hand in public, but he's not willing to risk everything for that hope. So when the door opens and Miller pulls him in, Bellamy puts his game face on. 

Officially, Jasper's rewatch parties are for everyone - well, everyone he's friends with - to immerse themselves back into their characters and the cinematography after the hiatus, so they can start the next season with a fresh memory of where they left off in the previous finale. Unofficially, it's for Bellamy to sit on the same couch as Clarke, close enough to smell her shampoo, and reacquaint himself with the secret and persistent urge to kiss her senseless. Clarke squeezes onto the couch next to him just moments before Jasper hollers for everyone to settle in. There's not exactly enough room for her - not with Miller on his other side, and Monty sitting next to him with his legs thrown over the couch's armrests, and Raven claiming the other end since it has the ottoman she can prop her leg up on. The cramped arrangements mean that Clarke is half in his lap, and when she turns to exclaim over Raven's arrival, he gets a mouthful of blonde hair.

Despite Jasper's warning, they don't actually start the first episode for another few minutes, since a debate emerges about whether or not to put up subtitles, which Harper wins. Then, at last, everyone quiets down, decides on optimal placement for the bowls of popcorn and trail mix, and the opening theme of Arkadia's season six premiere fills the room. When Wells' name shows on the title cards, Clarke's hand snakes under Bellamy's arm and taps at his palm. He tangles their fingers together without hesitation, and squeezes it when he shows on-screen. 

"I forgot what Bellamy looked like under the beard," Miller stage-whispers, reaching up to grab Bellamy's chin as Augustus enters with an ominous chord. Bellamy lovingly bites him as there are a few snickers in the room. 

Six years after Bellamy's filming schedule suddenly became a hot commodity, he still hasn't gotten used to seeing his face on a screen. New season premieres are the worst because Jaha always makes a whole spectacle of it, but their rewatch parties are always a bit of a shock too. It helps that Bellamy and Augustus aren't quite the same person, not anymore. Six years ago, when Bellamy was brought on to play the main antagonist of Arkadia's pilot, he and Clarke didn't have to put an ounce of effort into pretending they were at each other's throats. He hated her, and Wells too, and Jaha especially for the obvious nepotism in his hiring, and it took a long time for their talent to win him over and the shadow of that initial animosity to fade. Bellamy likes to think he's a steadier, better person than he was when he first started playing Augustus. Augustus, on the other hand, is still a walking pile of trauma, which is useful to bring up at question panels when he's trying to dodge inquiries about both of their love lives. 

They make it through the first six episodes okay, with the occasional plea for a bathroom break - especially from Emori and Harper, who have decided to go for the 'my people' drinking game after all - and hoots and hollers whenever Murphy takes off his shirt on-screen.

"I wonder who's gonna take their shirt off this season," Jasper muses with his hands behind his back during a break between episodes. 

"Me," Zeke says without hesitation. "Whether or not it's in the script. I'm gonna make it happen, and Roan will back me up."

"If they give Miles a redemption arc, he and I are definitely going to get a sex scene," Raven says confidently, to a chorus of laughs. "We're too hot. They'd never leave that raw sexy potential unexplored."

"I don't ship it," Jasper says critically, crossing his arms against the gasps of shock and outrage. 

"You're just mad Miles and Morgana don't have a good ship name," Monty calls out. 

"Milgana? Mirgana? Milana?"

"_Moles_," Bellamy says with such confidence that Clarke nearly falls off the couch trying to dodge the pillow Raven throws in their direction. 

It's all fine, until Clarke's character Lyza breaks down crying just before the midseason battle. Bellamy knows it's fiction, but his heart still clenches painfully at the sight of Clarke in her combat fatigues, her face twisted with anguish and blood running down her arm as she smashes a console in despair. Bellamy himself lies in the background of most shots, an unconscious body in a cryogenic tube. He had a hard time remaining still and not going to comfort her when they filmed this scene, too. The arm he has around Clarke tightens unconsciously, drawing her closer to him like he can protect her, and because he's thinking about his own feelings it takes him a moment too long to remember how this scene ends.

Wells reaches forward and catches Lyza's arm just before she's about to smash another one of the ship's screens. 

"Hey," he says, the microphones picking his soft and soothing voice perfectly. No one in the living room moves or speaks, stunned by Jasper's surround sound. "Look at me, Lyza. Look. It's going to be okay."

"It's not," Lyza sobs. "We're outnumbered."

"We've been outnumbered before," Wells says soothingly, wiping Lyza's tears away with his thumbs. To his right, Harper takes in a deep, shaky breath.

"Not like this, Your Highness," Lyza says roughly. "The fleet will be destroyed, and it's my fault. If Augustus was awake, or Morgana was here - "

Wells' face fills their screen, the camera shot close and intimate. His smile, so sad and reassuring, makes the back of Bellamy's throat burn, and he knows no one in the room is watching this and seeing the prince he plays. That smile is only Wells. All Wells. 

"I promise it's not your fault," Wells says. "You couldn't have known."

And at that, Clarke shoots to her feet. Whatever her character says next is ignored as everyone looks up, warily judging her reaction. Bellamy can't see her face, but the way Jasper swallows hard from his seat in the armchair as Clarke flees to the kitchen tells him it wasn't good. 

"I'll go," Bellamy says quickly, moving Monty's feet off his lap. 

"Should we pause?" Jasper asks uncertainly.

"Just keep going without us," Bellamy calls out over his shoulder. "The next five minutes are just Jaha showing off the cgi budget, anyway."

He finds Clarke on the patio, staring hard at the yellowed grass the boys haven't bothered to water at all. There is nothing to say that hasn't already been said before, by people with better words than him, and he thinks he knows Clarke enough to be certain that she would rather him be silent and still beside her. So they sit on the step, the wood sun-baked and splintered beneath them, and for a long time there is only the pressure of their arms against each other, and the warmth of the twilight, and the parents in nearby backyards calling their children in for bed as the crickets begin to start up their song. He listens to her breathing - unsteady and hiccuping at first as she holds back tears, and slowly she begins to relax against him. 

She lets out an exhausted sigh and leans closer, her head finding the slope of his shoulder. She feels so good there it hurts, and Bellamy grits his teeth and turns his face the other way to compose himself, because this isn't about him, or him and Clarke, or how much it hurts to see her in more pain than him. 

After a moment, he speaks.

"He was right, you know."

Clarke lifts her head up. 

"What?"

"That it wasn't your fault. I know that was the show, but. It's true now, too."

He feels Clarke's gaze like an itch upon his skin, and at last turns to look at her. The light from the kitchen illuminates her hair, like a chalk tracing, pale and blurred. Her face is in deep shadow but he can still see her eyes are as sharp as always.

"We don't have to go back," he says. "We can call it a night, here."

"You'd come with me?" Clarke asks, inscrutable. There's no telling what she means by the question. If he'd take her home, if he'd stay. He doesn't know what she wants, but he knows he'd do it. 

"Yes."

Clarke blinks, long and slow. 

"It's tradition," she says. "We can't break tradition." She curls up against him for the rest of the season, and for once none of their friends waggle their eyebrows in their direction. 

When everyone finally goes to bed, Bellamy stays awake for a long time, his mind racing even though his body is exhausted. He can't stop thinking about the way Augustus had touched Lyza's face the moment before they separated in the finale. He can't help but wonder how much of the look in Clarke's eyes is her and how much is her character. If she'd look at him like that. If this is the season he'll finally get to kiss her.

  
  
  
  


**Fans Shocked After Arkadia Showrunner Announces Final Season**

Big news in the Arkadia hashtag this week: Thelonious Jaha has confirmed rumours that the seventh and final season of hit show Arkadia will be airing next spring despite the tragic death of Wells Jaha, who was not only a prominent actor in the sci-fi drama but also his son. Friends and family, as well as the cast and crew of Arkadia, have been tightlipped for several weeks since Jaha Jr's small and private funeral in his hometown of Phoenix. This was ample time for fans to begin speculating if Jaha Sr would move forward with Arkadia's final season after all, and if so, how the absence of Jaha Jr's fan-favourite character would impact the storylines everyone is eager to see wrapped-up.

The new airdate of the premiere is only two months later than the original schedule before Jaha Jr's untimely death, prompting some to wonder if the production of the final season will be part of grieving process of the cast and crew that the Jaha family has worked closely with for the past six years. #ThankYouWellsJaha has been trending on twitter for several hours since the announcement with dozens of stories of Wells Jaha's kindness at fan conventions and bloopers that show the funny side that his princely character rarely got to indulge in, and if the loyalty of Arkadia's fans is anything to go by, there will be further events to remember him when the season airs.

The writers' room and lead actors Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake were not available for comment. Arkadia will return to The CW's network in April of next year.

  


lygustus or bust✔  
@arkabitch

I thought id cried enough already but seeing everyone's stories makes me wish id went to SDCC and met him myself... #ThankYouWellsJaha

❤ 2,934 4:39 PM • August 17, 2019

1.2K people are talking about this

High King Elijah✔  
@highkingelijah

signal boost this guys, lets let the cast know their not alone. <3 #ThankYouWellsJaha

❤ 3,081 4:41 PM • August 17, 2019

1.4K people are talking about this

new day new bullshit✔  
@morganaz

Me, anxiously refreshing the cast's IG trying to figure out if they're okay

❤ 932 4:42 PM • August 17, 2019

735 people are talking about this

lygana_queen **lywindus** asked:Clarke's said in interviews that she and Wells literally grew up together. can't imagine how it feels to lose him now.  ikr, ive been watching reruns of that sitcom they were on as kids and crying into my ice cream like an entire baby.  #it's just not fair#and if anyone comes into my inbox to tell me that i didn't even know him #shut up i will block you#we KNOW we didn't know him and that our pain can't compare to people who did#but i can still mourn the loss of someone i really looked up to#like he was just so sweet in all his interviews and he was a fantastic actor with so much ahead of him#and i miss prince elijah......... 7,641 notes 

  
  
  
  


The next morning dawns bright and early, _too_ bright and early for everyone that was up until 3 am. Bellamy hears Miller snooze his alarm three times through the wall of their bedrooms before either of them are willing to get out of bed - by the time they're dressed and downstairs, they're already running late. Bellamy grabs an apple for breakfast and silently curses Jaha for setting such an early time to meet. 

Bellamy feels a little more alive when they walk in and Maya is already passing out donuts and coffee - shitty coffee, but coffee nonetheless. He gives her a grateful side-hug and forgets what she says in response because Clarke walks in wearing a sweater that hangs off one shoulder. Murphy takes one look at his face and snorts. If he's rolling his eyes behind the giant sunglasses he's wearing to hide his hangover, Bellamy can't see. He lingers by the door as Clarke picks up her complimentary donut and coffee, determined not to give Murphy the reaction he wants. That's why he doesn't immediately see the name cards. 

Clarke and Bellamy have _always_ sat next to each other at table reads, even back in the first season when Augustus was the main antagonist. So they're not the only ones who raise their eyebrows when they file into the room and see that their name tags are on opposite sides of the room. That should be the first sign that things are wrong. Clarke stops in her tracks, visibly confused. 

"It's okay," Bellamy murmurs to her. "I'll sort it out."

She gives him a sleepy mumble in response and goes to her seat, frowning at the name card. Meanwhile, Bellamy follows Jaha as he moves between several low, whispered conversations with the other writers, barely giving Bellamy a sparing glance. 

"Sir - " Bellamy says, deliberately stepping into his way. Jaha frowns. "The name cards are - "

"Sit down, Bellamy," Jaha says in irritation. "We're already late, we have a lot of work ahead of us, and half of you are visibly hungover."

"I just wanted to say - " Bellamy says.

"I don't want to hear any sympathies," Jaha interrupts, leaving Bellamy stunned for a moment. It's difficult to gather himself after that and say that he'd already assumed, actually, that Jaha wouldn't want any questions about how he's holding up, and that he'd actually been meaning to ask about the seating arrangements. Jaha takes advantage of his momentary hesitation to step around him and bark and Maya to stop dawdling out in the hall. 

"_Sir_ \- " Bellamy says, "I wanted to ask if there's some mistake with the name cards. Clarke is - "

"_Sit down_," Jaha repeats, sounding even more frustrated. Kane gives them a concerned look from the head table as Jaha's angry voice carries. "There's no mistake."

Bellamy makes the tactical decision to retreat. Clarke meets his gaze with a frown as Bellamy sits in his spot across the room with her, and he gives her a minute shrug, just as confused as she is. They've _always_ sat together, after all, and this year is especially important. This is their first table read without Wells, and Bellamy's worried about her. 

Anya calls for order, and the last stragglers finish catching up with each other and settle in. Whatever whispered argument Jaha had been having with his fellow writers seems to have been put behind him now, as he and Kane and Anya and Maya sit at the head table. Jaha tells them to flip over their scripts. Bellamy gives Clarke one last lingering look, and they begin. And from there, it only gets worse.

  
  
  
  


ARKADIA ALL STARS  
  
Emori  
so uh anyone else weirded out by the total lack of mentions of Prince Elijah?  
Jasper  
OMG HOW DID THE TABLE READ GO  
Bad.  
Clarke  
really, really weird. I'm with you Emori, I don't really understand what the writers are planning.  
Miller  
I expected a little bit of retcon fuckery because he wasn't visibly injured in the finale but yeah this is weird.  


  
  
  
  


At the next table read, Raven raises her hand: "Mr Jaha, I'm all for making out with Zeke - " Zeke, who had been currently taking a sip of water, does a spit-take and spends the next minute trying to discreetly cough into his fist. Raven continues, unperturbed. " - but this doesn't feel like it's had enough of a buildup. I get that we have chemistry, but Morgana's way too loyal to the Arkadian Empire to actually follow through on those feelings and if you're trying to foreshadow a redemption arc for Zeke, honestly, it's weak as fuck."

"There's seven episodes left and we still have to wrap up the City of Light subplot, is that enough time for a redemption arc?" Clarke speaks up.

"Augustus' was just under a full season," Miller says, though he's frowning too as he flips forward through the script.

"Yeah, but Augustus had more screentime because there wasn't three other subplots to juggle - " Clarke muses.

"This discussion is pointless because there isn't a redemption arc," Jaha interrupts. Across from Bellamy, Miller makes a face that can be best described as 'unrestrained disgust.'

"So he's still the main villain?" Bellamy asks, trying to figure out where on Earth Jaha plans to take these conflicting plot threads.

"Morgana wouldn't kiss him if he's still trying to conquer the galaxy," Raven insists loudly. "This doesn't make any sense, Mr Jaha. If you want an enemies to lovers plot, Lyza and Augustus are _right there_ \- "

"I'm not going to make "Lygustus" happen just because the fans are expecting it," Jaha shouts back, making finger quotes in the air mockingly.

"It's not fanservice, at this point it's what makes sense for the story," Miller says, grimacing. Bellamy is glad Miller's saying what he can't say, because he's currently reeling. His mind is a confused jumble of thoughts that all seem equally urgent to address - Jaha's absolute disregard for Morgana's development, the hint that his and Clarke's characters won't end up together - _he won't have to kiss Clarke._

His gaze searches for Clarke instinctively and finds her already looking at him. She looks just as confused as he is with the familiar furrow in her brow that he loves so much. _What the fuck?_ she mouths at him from across the room. Bellamy discreetly shakes his head and pretends to be busy flipping the pages of his script. _He won't get to kiss Clarke._ Miller's right. Bellamy's stupid, inconvenient feelings aside, this doesn't make any sense for any of their characters. How can Lyza and Augustus not see that they're both pining when all the signs have been pointing to it for six seasons?

"I just don't know if I'm onboard with this storyline," Raven says bluntly. She adjusts her braced leg over the other and leans back in her seat, crossing her arms and looking _deeply_ unimpressed with the day's recent events.

"You don't have to be onboard," Jaha says, and Bellamy's jaw clenches. He knows how much of her soul Raven has poured into Morgana's character, how much it means to her that Morgana is the first gig she hasn't had to hide her disability for, that she and Morgana are so similar, so simultaneously fierce and vulnerable. Jaha's acting like they don't have any emotional stakes in this, like they can go home at the end of the day and not care viscerally about what they've all come together to create over the past six years.

The table read moves on. Raven isn't in the next scene, and she doesn't even pretend to be paying attention as she texts under the table. Next to her, Clarke is lackluster and distant as she reads through her lines for a scenes for a scene with Miller and Murphy that would feel stiff even if they all weren't visibly annoyed. It's a far cry from the usual tenacity that Clarke usually approaches table reads with. Back before the first season, before Bellamy got along with her at all, he grudgingly respected her for giving the role her all.

Bellamy's phone vibrates. He carefully checks to make sure Jaha or Kane aren't paying attention to him before sliding it out and unlocking it.

ARKADIA ALL STARS  
  
Raven  
anyone else get the feeling Jaha is actively trying to make the worst series finale in the world???????  
Jasper  
omg there new table read gossip???  
Zeke  
yeah Raven doesn't want to kiss me  
Murphy  
I need a drink after this trainwrevk. dropship?  
Raven  
I can't kick back and relax until I find out where Jaha is going with this.  


Bellamy looks up at Murphy sharply, wondering when on Earth he would have had time to type that, but gets no answers. Murphy is, from all appearances, still diligently devoting 100% of his attention to reading out his part in the current scene.

When they finally wrap up, two hours and another three disagreements over dialogue later, Bellamy goes straight to Clarke.

"You okay?" he asks her lowly, gently touching her shoulder as she gathers her things into a hideous neon tote bag that Bellamy's pretty sure was a gag gift from Jasper at the season 3 wrap party. Clarke's gaze flickers up to his face. She looks serious and unreadable. Then, just as quickly, her gaze slides past him to the door.

"Raven's up to something," she says. "I want in."

Before Bellamy can agree or disagree, she rounds the table and grabs his hand, dragging him off.

"Wait, what?" Bellamy asks. He left his backpack in the reading room and glances over his shoulder at it as Clarke pulls him past, but it doesn't seem like she's interested in giving him time to go back and grab it, and - well, Clarke has seemed so quiet and distant during production. Raven is already turning the corner at the end of the hall, moving more rapidly than her braced leg would have anyone believe. There's a spark of something in Clarke's eyes as she tracks the movement. Curiosity. This is the first glimpse of her former self he's seen in months: the Clarke Griffin who strides headfirst into trouble like she's expecting it to get out of her way. "All right," Bellamy says. "Let's go."

He realizes Clarke is still holding his hand when they start jogging down the hall after Raven. He'd expect her to let go because it's easier to run when they're not connected and this would be a natural, casual opportunity to let go that he wouldn't overthink, but her grip on his palm remains firm and by the time he's processed it it's been too long to let go himself without drawing attention to it. So they're still holding hands as they round the corner and find Raven kneeling in front of the door to Jaha's office. She looks over at them, looks down at their joined hands, raises her eyebrows, and turns her full attention back to the door. She takes another hairpin out of her mouth and sticks it into the lock.

"Bellamy, keep watch, make sure Jaha or Kane don't come along and catch us," she instructs. "Clarke, any idea what passwords Jaha might use?"

"Since when can you pick locks?" Bellamy mutters, before obediently tracing back his steps until he can look down the hallway. There's still people gathered outside the reading room, but they look preoccupied with conversation. Bellamy goes to stand by the window and holds his phone up to his ear as though he's come all this way to have some privacy for a phone call.

"You mean you don't know?" Raven jokes. A moment later the door clicks and swings open.

"Not gonna lie, I'm weirdly turned on by the fact that we're breaking in," Clarke says as she and Raven head inside. _If I'd known this is all it would take..._ Bellamy thinks to himself, and then ends that thought before it can go any further. "

"We're on the same page here, right? You're looking for the scripts?"

"I have to know what the hell Jaha is planning," Raven responds.

He keeps an eye on the group at the end of the hall as he hears the girls shuffling through Jaha's office. At the end of the hall, Jaha detaches himself from a conversation with Maya and starts walking towards them. His pace is slow, distracted as he is as he checks his phone, but once he reaches the end of the hallway there will be nothing left to hide Raven and Clarke's intrusion.

"What about these filing boxes?" Clarke asks, and Bellamy hears papers rustling.

"You're _kidding_ me!" Raven says loudly, to Clarke's fervent shushing.

"Guys," Bellamy says, as loudly as he dares with Jaha approaching. "30 seconds. You're running out of time."

"Grab one for Bellamy too!" Clarke hisses.

"Guys..." Bellamy says lowly.

Raven shoves Clarke out of the office and carefully closes the door behind them. Clarke is still trying to discreetly adjust the neon tote bag over her shoulder as Jaha finally nears them.

"I'll take the 4pm appointment, then," Bellamy says into his phone loudly. Jaha looks up at him and keeps walking, his face bored, no hint of suspicion. "Thank you," Bellamy says to an imaginary receptionist, and pretends to hang up.

Jaha stops in his tracks as he spots Clarke and Raven. Bellamy holds his breath and prays he doesn't notice the corners of dozens and dozens of papers sticking out over the top of Clarke's alarmingly eye-catching bag.

"What are you doing here?" he asks.

"Bathroom," Clarke says cheerfully, no hint of deceit in her face. It would, however, be more believable if she hadn't been struggling with Wells' loss for months.

"There's one closer," Jaha points out, gesturing back around the corner.

"Tampon dispenser's broken in that one," Raven fills in smoothly, and Bellamy can pinpoint the exact moment that Jaha stands up a little straighter and decides he does not want to ask any more questions.

"I'll see you two tomorrow morning," Jaha says, and steps around them to his office. His face looks confused as he puts his key in the lock and promptly locks himself out. Raven bites her lip until the three of them are out of earshot.

"That was exhilarating!" Clarke whispers as they walk outside and the bright, sunny afternoon blinds them. "I'm giving up on acting and turning to a life of crime."

"I can't believe he printed all the scripts already!" Raven says furiously. "That means he's not even going to consider any of the changes we're suggesting, _and_ I wanted to hack his computer!"

"Are you really upset that break-in went easier than you were expecting?" Bellamy asks incredulously. He shakes his head. "So you really got them? He had the whole season printed out?"

"I think so," Clarke says, swinging her hideous tote bag around and flipping through the slightly crumpled sheaths of paper hidden in it. "One for each of us. I think the only reason we got away with it is because he couldn't see anything but neon green."

She grins at Bellamy, and the summer sun pales in comparison.

He manages to stutter out a socially-acceptable response with the part of his brain that hasn't swooned as Raven takes one of the scripts and bids them goodbye, saying she's heading to the Dropship to get drunk with Murphy before she tries to read the next episodes.

"You going to join her?" Clarke asks softly, watching Raven meander off.

"I think I'm ready for a quiet evening in," Bellamy says instead. Is it his imagination, that Clarke's face falls slightly? He wants to clarify that it doesn't exclude her company, that he'd love to have her join - but before he can, she clears her throat and pulls the tote bag higher up on her shoulder.

"All right," she says. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then. Wish me luck for the script!"

"I don't know if luck is enough to save us," Bellamy jokes, and Clarke smiles one more time before walking off. Bellamy looks up at the cloudless sky and scoffs to himself.

"Quiet evening in," he mumbles. "_Idiot_."

Bellamy made the mistake of rooming with Murphy in their first year of filming together. That went badly enough that he and Murphy have both agreed not to bring up any of the incidents again. Now that they actually get along, they started rooming again, and it's usually not too bad because they and Miller all are introverts who will give each other space. Every once in a while though, Murphy and Emori have a fight, make up, and blast terrible music to cover up the sounds of afore-mentioned making up. Tonight is one of those nights.

Bellamy is ready for a strong drink by the time he gets to the penultimate episode in the scripts Raven stole. He throws the stack of papers down on his bed with a disappointed shake of his head and goes down to the kitchen, rooting through Murphy's stores until he finds something that won't taste like mouthwash. He pours himself a glass and considers going to rant about Jaha's writing choices to Miller, who is secretly a nerdy English major and is generally way more eager to dissect other people's stories than his demeanor would have you believe. Bellamy starts forming arguments in his head and fantasizing about ripping those scripts up in front of Jaha's face.

And then someone starts pounding on the door.

Bellamy freezes for only a moment, and then runs to unlock it, because frankly the desperation with which their visitor is knocking makes him worry that they're being chased by an axe murderer. When he opens the door he gets an armful of Clarke, with no axe murderer in sight.

"Did you finish reading it?" Clarke demands, regaining her balance and letting go of Bellamy's arms. She kicks her shoes off and marches straight to the kitchen counter, where she picks up the drink Bellamy just poured for himself and throws it back in one shot.

"That was mine," Bellamy frowns.

"I really needed it," Clarke says as she pours another one. He half-expects her to down that one too, but she only slides it down the counter and raises her eyebrows at him. "So did you finish reading?"

Bellamy closes the door and walks over.

"I'm on the second-last episode," he says with a wince. "I just got to the part where Morgana dies. Raven's going to be pissed. I'm uh.... I'm really not enjoying it."

"Understatement of the fucking century," Clarke snaps. "Do you want me to spoil it, or are you going to keep reading?"

"Do you mind waiting?" Bellamy asks. Clarke waves him off. "All right," he says. "I'll finish it so I have all the context for the angry rant you're waiting to give."

"As if you don't have one of your own," Clarke says, and it still surprises him sometimes, how well she knows him. Clarke follows him upstairs (!) into his bedroom (!!!) and stretches out on her stomach on one side of his bed (!!!!!) as he picks up the script. He nurses his drink as he half-hearted flips through the script in his lap while Clarke furiously texts next to him.

Bellamy can't help but swear as he nears the end of the finale.

"_I'm a Wanheda and this is what I was meant to do?_" Bellamy reads out loud. "_It's not my fault you deluded yourself into thinking that I was capable of loving you?_ Seriously?"

"I know!" Clarke says. "I'm so fucking angry." She holds her phone screen up and Bellamy sees an absolute barrage of swear words from Raven. "I think Raven wants to actually murder Jaha."

"I can't believe we're actually expected to act this out," Bellamy says, shaking his head. He looks at the remaining drink in his hand and takes a page out of Clarke's book, throwing it all back. He holds the empty glass out to Clarke. "Can you put this on the nightstand?"

"You should have left me some," Clarke mutters as she sets it down. "I feel like I need it again."

"It's not just the 180 Jaha pulled with our characters," Bellamy says, tracing a finger down the scene. "All the dialogue feels super stiff. I'm currently rethinking everything I ever thought about Jaha's talent, but like - I _know_ Kane and Anya and Maya can do a better job than this. And you saw the faces Maya was pulling at today's table read. She knows this is bullshit too."

"It gets worse," Clarke says miserably.

"It can't get worse," Bellamy says automatically. "We've hit rock bottom."

"Keep reading," Clarke says. She puts her phone face down on the blanket and shuffles closer to Bellamy. His breathing stutters in his chest as she hides her face against the outside of his thigh. Bellamy hesitantly lets one of his hands fall to the nape of her neck. He strokes her hair, marveling at its softness, at the warmth of her. "_Read_," Clarke says, muffled by the cradle of her arm and his leg. Bellamy pulls his hand back like he's been burned and forces his attention to the script. The chances that this storyline is going to end with him getting to kiss Clarke seem to be rapidly decreasing.

"Oh," he says quietly a few minutes later. Clarke sniffles. He resists the urge to tear out the last page and crumple it up if only because Miller's going to want to see this trainwreck too.

"I _kill_ you," Clarke says, finally raising her head, and _oh no she's crying._ Technically, she doesn't kill him - _Lyza _kills_ Augustus_, but Bellamy doesn't try to correct her because he feels the pain and betrayal as keenly as if the Wanheda's blade really was slipped between his ribs. They've poured _everything_ into these characters.

"Maybe it's not real," Bellamy says desperately. "There's a _lot_ of pressure on the last season, and the scripts were just lying there, right? Doesn't that seem suspiciously easy to you? Maybe Jaha planted a red herring to keep the real ending secret."

"I wish," Clarke groans. "But the scripts we've seen at the table reads so far _also_ suck. I think it's real, Bellamy. And we all know Jaha hasn't been the same since Wells died."

None of them have been the same. But where the cast and crew pulled together to stay strong after their friend's death... Jaha pulled away.

"We're going to need more alcohol," Bellamy says roughly.

An hour and a half later he and Clarke are back in his bed, her head on his chest, her hair tickling his chin as he breathes. Drunk Clarke is handsy, and Bellamy's own sense of restraint is seriously hampered by the haze on his mind. He'll worry about the ramifications of Clarke falling asleep in his bed in the morning.

"We should make our own season," Clarke says drowsily. "Even if we have no budget and no cool cgi spaceships. I bet we'd still do a better job."

"I bet we would," Bellamy murmurs back. "Even if we filmed it on a smartphone."

"Even if we had no costumes and we were just in pajamas waving cheap Halloween props at each other," Clarke adds, sounding a little more cheerful already.

"Do you think we could pull off that redemption arc for Zeke's character?" Bellamy muses. Clarke taps an unsteady beat against his chest.

"It'd be tough. And it shouldn't _just_ be related to having a crush on Morgana, it should be like... _legit_. It should be legit, Bellamy. Maybe if he saw one of the planets the Primes destroyed?"

"He and Jarret both grew up at the same flight academy," Bellamy says, "And I feel that's been underused in the show. What if they got stranded on one of the destroyed planets together, and we did like, a bottle episode of them walking through the wasteland and arguing about who's on the right side?"

"I like that," Clarke says. "Also, Morgana shouldn't die. And we should do something with that plotline with Jarret's mom, Jaha totally forgot about that after season 4."

"And Lyza and Augustus should be together at the end," Bellamy murmurs. Clarke falls silent for long enough that Bellamy starts to mentally beat himself up for saying that, and then - then Clarke nuzzles further into his side.

"Yeah," she says, sounding like she's on the very verge of sleep. "They should."

She's snoring a moment later, and Bellamy doesn't think he'll fall asleep any time soon with how fast his heart is racing, but _somehow_ the next thing he's aware of is the morning light shining in through the window and Clarke rolling away from him with a loud groan.

"_Ugh_," she says with her eyes firmly closed. "Feels like something died in my skull."

"I'll get you an ibuprofen," Bellamy says, and has to spend a moment scrubbing at his own face in the bathroom to feel alive.

Miller gives them a _look_ when they come downstairs for breakfast, but he's pretty easily distracted by Clarke plopping a copy of the script on the counter in front of him.

"Raven and I stole it from Jaha's office. Keep it on the down-low for now."

Miller skips ahead to the ending to see who is still alive in the finale and only _then_ starts reading from where the table reads left off, so the whole car is subjected to infuriated grumbling on the drive. Murphy cranes his neck to be let in on the joke.

"This sounds _awful_," Murphy grouses as Bellamy pulls into the parking lot.

"I know," Bellamy says grimly. "Clarke was joking about making our own shitty low budget season last night."

"It would still be better," Clarke deadpans from the passenger seat. She points up ahead. "I think there's an open parking space behind that Honda."

  
  
  
  


Clarke Griffin's Future Wife  
@mellowbellow

TBH part of me wishes they'd cancelled Arkadia, I can't watch it without him... #ThankYouWellsJaha

❤ 1,739 5:03 PM • August 20, 2019

1.2K people are talking about this

new day new bullshit  
@morganaz

replying to  @mellowbellow

I've put too much of my life into this goddamn show for them not to see it through

❤ 2,407 5:16 PM • August 20, 2019

1.5K people are talking about this

  
  
  
  


"Thelonious," Clarke says, interrupting the break Kane has just called. Clarke has the same power to command absolute attention in a room as some of the teachers Bellamy used to have. Even though she doesn't call out particularly loudly, everyone stops talking and digging around in their bags for snacks. Even Miller, already halfway out of his seat, awkwardly freezes in midair and looks at her.

Jaha turns around.

"Yes, Clarke?" he asks mildly.

Miller sits back down, exchanging a glance with Bellamy that plainly asks _do you know what she's planning?_ Bellamy knows her well enough to guess she's about to complain about the last scene.

"I'm not a fan of the part we just read," Clarke says, stacking her papers and giving Jaha a piercing look. Bellamy can remember being on the receiving end of those looks plenty of times, especially early on in production for season 1 and 2 when they weren't getting along. The memories make his hair stand on end.

"You can bring your complaints to my office at the end of the day," Jaha says stiffly, clearly aware of all the eyes on them.

"No I can't," Clarke snaps, "Because you're always avoiding us!"

"Yikes," Murphy whispers, just barely audible in the silence that follows Clarke's accusation. Murphy picks up his scripts and holds it up to one side of his face like he's trying to hide from the brewing storm.

"Why is this whole script pretending Elijah never existed?" Clarke demands. "The protagonist squad has been together for four years in-universe, not counting the temporal flares in season 5. They're all _best friends_. Elijah shouldn't have died off screen and his friends should be allowed to mourn him! There should be some kind of _goodbye_ \- "

"And how do you expect me to film scenes without an actor?" Jaha says icily.

"Maybe we could cgi it if we didn't spend so much money on leather jackets for the aliens," Murphy mutters.

"Murphy, _shut up!_" Miller hisses.

Bellamy stands up.

"Sir," he starts.

"I'm not interested in discussing this," Jaha says over the muttered complaints.

"Why not?" Clarke presses. "Bellamy and I have some ideas - "

"Maybe I don't want to write dialogue mourning my dead son!" Jaha hollers. The whites of his eyes are stark, his teeth gritted as he glares at her.

"You're not the only one who misses him," Raven says, her voice hard. "We loved him too. And so did the fans. This script is an insult to all his hard work for the past six seasons."

Jaha reels like he's been physically struck.

"Sir," Bellamy says insistently. "If you're not ready to do this project, lets put it on hold. No one would fault us - or you - for needing more time."

Jaha stares at him for long enough that Bellamy thinks he's really considering it. Kane steps forward.

"Theo," he says quietly, laying a comforting hand on Jaha's shoulder and squeezing. "Let's give it more time."

Jaha shakes him off roughly.

"We're not going on hiatus," he snarls. "I don't want to hear it suggested again. I've already written the ending. Tomorrow I expect you all in this room at 7am ready to give me your best performances. You're dismissed."

And with that he stalks out.

Murphy's forehead hits the table. Clarke turns on Kane and the rest of the writers' table, who are all looking various shades of gray and 'didn't drink enough coffee for this.'

"Why haven't any of you talked some sense into him?" Clarke demands, her voice teary. "Why doesn't he get that he's not grieving alone?"

"You think we haven't tried?" Kane asks. He exhales heavily and rubs at his temples. "We'll take the rest of the day off. Go home, everyone," he says, and glares around the room until people start getting out of their seats.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea for this story after the Game of Thrones finale aired and photos of the cast making uncomfortable faces at table reads began to surface and people started petitioning them to remake the last season. I was like..... what if a cast really did do that? *eyes emoji* I do not know much about tv show production, nor do I ever engage with celebrities/twitter, so any and all accuracy is entirely accidental. 
> 
> **EDIT:** this chapter was written and the fic as a whole was plotted long before Sept 9, it was not edited to include jroth's real life idiocy. To everyone commenting and messaging me that I predicted season 7... sorry! In my defense, I picked the STUPIDEST thing I could think that would ruin a show's ending and didn't think he'd actually stoop that low.
> 
> Thank you to [@grumpybell](https://grumpybell.tumblr.com) for allowing me to use her beautiful icons for the twitter and tumblr portions throughout this fic. You can find her intimidatingly large collection [here.](https://grumpybell.tumblr.com/icons)
> 
> Also thanks to [@marauders-groupie](https://marauders-groupie.tumblr.com/) for sending me a link to [this code repository](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/A_Guide_to_Coding_and_Fanworks) and unknowingly being the tipping point that made me do this fic with css rather than copious amounts of embedded images.  
Reference for tweets [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22517134/chapters/53929063#workskin)  
Reference for tumblr posts [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099596/chapters/50203892)  
Reference for the groupchat [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19249828)  
Reference for the box I put the article in [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11549178/chapters/25935135)
> 
> Thank you to the [bellarke bingo challenge](https://bellarkebingo.tumblr.com/) for gently nudging me out of my comfort zone, you can check out my bingo card [here.](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com/post/186061991605/kindclaws-hello-thank-you-for-signing-up-for)
> 
> And thanks to YOU for reading! Updates will be slower on this one than some of my recent fics because a) haven't been feeling well lately b) I'm studying for a big professional exam and c) holy mother of formatting!!!! Encouragement is much appreciated. You can find me on tumblr as [kindclaws](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com) and find out what I'm currently working on in my [writing updates tag.](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com/tagged/sara's-writing-upd8s)  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **CONTENT WARNINGS:** This chapter contains a gif! It's not very flashy but it moves and stuff. There's also some discussion and jokes about sex. You are always invited to message me privately on tumblr if there are other warnings you think should be added :)  
**Chapter 2 is even less mobile-accessible than Chapter 1 was. If you have the option of reading this on desktop, please for the love of all the html I put into it, do so. Otherwise, please turn your phone on landscape orientation, or the fake google doc portions will be incoherent. :( **

  
  


"I'm in," Raven says, slamming her cup down at the rickety table in the back of the Dropship that they've claimed as _theirs_.

"Look, if we do this," Emori cautions, "It has to be a secret. Don't get me wrong, I hate the scripts just as much as you guys do and I'd love to have a version of the season that feels like a proper goodbye, but it should be just for us. Not everyone's getting as many auditions for new projects as Bellamy and Clarke, and I'd rather this not get out and have us blacklisted as difficult actors to work with when I don't have enough of a portfolio to argue with that."

"That's a good point," Miller says. "Plus it would be a huge slap in the face for the rest of the writers. So can everyone keep a secret?"

"If you wanted a secret Jasper shouldn't be sitting here," Murphy says.

"I'm not going to ruin my friends' careers," Jasper snaps back at him. "_Plus_, I'm your favourite sound technician. You'd have to find someone else."

Clarke pulls a crumpled receipt out of her bag and flattens it on the table.

"Okay," she says as Bellamy pulls out a pen. "So in the cast we have Bellamy and I onboard, Raven, Murphy, Miller, Emori... Jasper on sound - "

"I have more than enough cameras, we won't have to steal equipment," Monty says.

"Monty on cameras," Clarke continues, writing everything down. "I'll ask Lincoln if he's willing to do costumes and makeup."

"Zeke will be interested," Raven adds. "Also he's like. One of the main villains. So we need him."

"Until Lyza goes nuts and betrays the Arkadian Empire after all," Murphy mutters. Clarke's shoulders stiffen.

"That was a stupid plot," Bellamy says, coming to her rescue. "We're all agreed that we're not doing it in our version, right? Because it's a giant middle finger to the past six seasons she's spent trying to escape her past with the Wanhedas."

"We're not doing it," Raven agrees quickly. "I can't believe Jaha thought that would be a good ending. It leaves such a bad taste in my mouth."

"We're not going full happily-ever-after, everyone's married with kids in the epilogue, are we?" Murphy interrupts. "Because I feel like that would be out of character too."

"I don't think Augustus would ever have kids," Bellamy muses. "He still thinks he's a monster, I don't think he'd ever completely let go of that."

"Honestly," Raven says as she flips through her earmarked copy of the stolen script. "I think I'd be okay with Morgana dying, just not _this_ death. Maybe she and Jarret could die in the last stand in the throne room?" she asks, turning to Miller for his opinion.

"If it was epic I'd be fine with it. Like we gotta die heroes," Miller says nodding. "I think Jarret would be okay with it once he'd made peace with his mom."

"Grimdark enough for you?" Bellamy asks Murphy, who rubs his hands gleefully.

"Hell yeah," Murphy says. Next to him, Monty and Jasper start nodding along, looking excited.

"We should say goodbye to Wells somehow," Clarke blurts out.

The table falls instantly silent as everyone looks at her. Raven nods, her mouth twisted with sadness, but no one seems to know what to say. Bellamy clears his throat.

"The premiere..." he says, and falters as all the attention immediately swivels to him. He'd just been about to say that the premiere will be the first time the fans return to the show since Wells' death, and that some of the hardcore fans would also want closure for the death of a widely-beloved actor. He forgot, for a moment, that they all agreed they're making their secret version just for them. _Arkadia_ isn't a household name, but it's a popular enough show that Bellamy's thinking the past few years has had to adapt to accommodate extreme fan reactions. He switches tracks. "In the premiere, Lyza is still fighting off the hallucinogen from the season six finale. What if we could dig up some unused footage from the past seasons, or some bloopers, and edit them so that it looks like she's going through memories of Elijah and the crew?"

"It could signify that Elijah is sacrificing his life force to bring her back, maybe?" Monty suggests. He looks at Raven. "So Elijah gets to die a badass hero too," he says softly.

"I think Wells would have liked that," Miller says.

Clarke sniffs loudly, and when Bellamy looks at her there are tears openly rolling down her face.

"Clarke," he says roughly, gathering her into his arms so tightly she's nearly pulled into his lap. He doesn't know what to say after that so he just presses his cheek to her hair and rocks her back and forth.

"Group hug, assholes," Murphy mutters, and his wiry arms wrap around Bellamy's shoulders. Chairs scrape against the floor and glasses are pushed aside as everyone squeezes together, murmuring encouragement and embracing.

When they finally pull away Clarke is smiling, her face flushed a deep red as she wipes tears away with the back of her knuckles.

  
  
  
  


ARKADIA ALL STARS  
  
Clarke Griffin shared a document  
Clarke  
LETS DO THIS  
Miller  
so uhhhh  
just happened to notice you called the first episode 'The Unfuckening' Clarke  
what about it  
Miller  
notihng.  
Murphy  
I like it. Can I have edit permissions?  
No.  
Emori  
absolutely not  


  
  
  
  


  
File Edit View Insert Format Tools Add-ons Help

**ARKADIA 7x01: The UnFuckening **

INT. THE PHOENIX - COMMAND BRIDGE - DARK

The scene pans on the destroyed command bridge - overhead lights flickering red, wires in the panels sparking, an anonymous redshirt lying still on the floor with an outstretched arm. The captain's chair is on FIRE because SYMBOLISM.

AUGUSTUS coughs and slowly gets up, clearly in pain.

AUGUSTUS

Hello? Is anyone there?

He stumbles through the smoke, <s>doing that thing Bellamy does when his eyes get really wide and intense</s> his eyes lit up only as the flickering lights turn on.

Augustus stumbles on the body of a dead redshirt before finding a semi-conscious JARRET, who groans in a manly way as Gus flips him over.

AUGUSTUS

Hey, are you okay? Does anything hurt?

JARRET, weakly

Everything hurts.

AUGUSTUS

Does anything feel like it hurts way too much?

JARRET

I'll live. Miles won't, when I kill him for blowing us up.

AUGUSTUS frowns at the memory: quick flashes of the season six finale, lots of explosions cuz we don't have the budget for new ones lol. Augustus visibly pushes away his worry.

AUGUSTUS

Come on, we have to find Lyza and the others.

Cut to LYZA, lying still in another portion of the ship with blood trickling from her forehead.

dun dun 

DUUNNN!!! 

**John Murphy**

can someone give me edit permission?????

11:00  


**Emori Detzone**

do NOT give him edit permission.

11:00  


**Jasper Jordan**

also Bellamys shirt should be ripped open so that we can see that he's bleeding and also has abs

11:00  


**Bellamy Blake**

No

11:00  


**Raven Reyes**

give the fans what they want Bellamy

11:00  


**Clarke Griffin**

;)

11:00  


**Bellamy Blake**

??!!?!

11:00  


**Nathan Miller**

idk guys the dialogue feels kinda stiff to me

11:00  


**Clarke Griffin**

It's just a rough draft! we'll figure it out.

11:00  


  
  
  
  


Bellamy sees movement out of the corner of his eye, and hears the soft rustle of clothing. He's halfway through shaving a delicate patch of his beard, just beneath the jaw, and doesn't turn to look until he's done with the soft drag of his razor against skin. He lowers it to rinse the blades under the sink and glances at her. 

"I'm excited to see your face again. It’s been hiding under that scruff for so long," Clarke says with a small, pleased smile. She's wearing one of his sweaters with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and it's terrible.

"Thanks," Bellamy says flatly, and turns his head this way and that to see his progress in the mirror. Clarke's reflection watches him, her eyes bright and piercing. Bellamy remembers hating the way she'd look right through him, like she was pulling him apart in her head. He doesn't remember how or why, though. That was a long time ago. Now her gaze on him, so raw, so knowing, makes him press his hips flush against the bathroom cabinet. He raises the razor up again. Underneath his fingertips, his pulse races from her proximity.

Clarke says nothing as he starts on the other cheek, carving long lines through pale shaving cream. He can't seem to remember how to breathe evenly, and rinses the razor again to buy time. 

"You know," he says, "It's difficult to concentrate on this with you staring at me. I'm worried I'm making weird faces."

"Oh, please," Clarke says. "After six years of acting with you, I think I've seen every face you can make."

He can, in fact, think of a few she hasn't seen, and resolutely shoves those thoughts aside. 

"Seriously, are you gonna watch me the whole time?"

"Do you want me to go?" Clarke asks seriously. The smile is gone. She'd leave without question now, if he told her. Bellamy rests his hands against the counter and traces her features, his eyes lingering on the mole above her lips. _It doesn't mean anything_, he tells himself. _She's only sleeping over because she was here late and we're all going to the same place in the morning, anyway._ Borrowing his clothes, sleeping on the couch while she gets under his sheets, and the cruel intimacy of having her watch him shave - all of that, it's not _for_ him. It's not _because_ of him.

Still.

"No," he says, and the corners of Clarke's mouth twitch. 

He focuses on shearing the last bits and then washes his face, but he can feel her gaze on him all the way. The last of the foam traces a spiral around the sink's bowl before sinking down the drain. Bellamy grabs the towel and dries his face. When he opens his eyes again, Clarke feels much, much closer. He forgets how to breathe when she raises a hand and touches the back of her knuckles to his newly-smooth cheek. The contact is whisper-soft, more of a suggestion than anything else. It still makes him shiver. 

He suddenly remembers the season six finale. When he'd touched her face as Augustus, and hers had been so full of wonder and hope. He wants Clarke to look at him like that. He wants her to look at him like she's looking at him right now.

"Clarke - " he says brokenly, before realizing he has no idea what he'd allow himself to say. She jerks her hand back like she's been burned. 

"Good night, Bellamy," she says, and then she's gone. 

He lets out a shaky exhale and leans on the bathroom counter hard enough for his knuckles to go white. They start filming tomorrow, Jaha's version of the season. The one they don't get a happy ending in. The one where he doesn't get to kiss her. Sometimes the line between blessing and curse seems to blur.

  
  
  
  


Marcus Kane✔  
@markane

The forecast looks beautiful for our last first day of filming tomorrow! It's a shame that doesn't matter, since the whole series happens in space anyway. #Arkadia

❤ 4,543 8:09 PM • August 25, 2019

3.2K people are talking about this

lygustus or bust  
@arkabitch

replying to  @markane

LYGUSTUS LYGUSTUS LYGUSTUS

❤ 4,973 8:12 PM • August 25, 2019

3.5K people are talking about this

  
  
  
  


Raven winces and adjusts the solid collar of the mechasuit she's wearing for this scene.

"This is so cheesy," she murmurs to Bellamy as they watch Harper and Clarke negotiate the stunt Jaha wants them to pull. Bellamy can't help but agree.

"Look at Anya's face," Jasper whispers, and Bellamy follows his gaze to the other side of the set, where their fight choreographer is standing with her arms crossed over her chest, glaring daggers at Jaha as he stomps on all her careful work. "Wouldn't want to run into her in a dark alley."

"I feel bad for her," Bellamy murmurs.

"She'd probably be down to join our rogue production," Raven says consideringly.

"Gotta be careful about that," Bellamy says in return, and they all fall silent and look innocent as Kane walks by with a clipboard.

  
  
  
  


  
File Edit View Insert Format Tools Add-ons Help

**ARKADIA 7x02: The Fanservice **

INT. THE PHOENIX - LYZA'S BUNK - NIGHT.

AUGUSTUS enters the room, casually flexing his beautiful muscular arms as he runs a hand through his luscious locks. He is SHOCKED to find Lyza sensually stretched out in his bunk. The room is covered in candles everywhere and this is totally not the sort of fire hazard that would be 110% prohibited on a spaceship.

AUGUSTUS

Lyza? What are you doing here.

Cue romantic music as Lyza slips one of the straps of her evening gown off.

LYZA

Oh, Augustus! You’re just so sexy I couldn’t stop myself

AUGUSTUS

Sometimes I let matches burn down to my fingertips just to FEEL something.

LYZA

Your six seasons of bad boy trauma are so sexy. I want to blow up the universe for you.

AUGUSTUS

No one's ever.... done anything nice for me before.

well fuck this got too meta and I ran out of inspiration. also, #stillbetterthancanon amiright 

**Bellamy Blake**

what the fuck

11:00  


**Raven Reyes**

oh god

11:00  


**Bellamy Blake**

WHO GAVE MURPHY EDITING PERMISSIONS?

11:00  


**Clarke Griffin**

first of all this isn't hbo

11:00  


**John Murphy**

*flaming elmo gif*

11:00  


**Nathan Miller**

0/10 romance, doesn't even have a rose in his mouth

11:00  


**Jasper Jordan**

asdsfgtrhyjuk

11:00  


  
  
  
  


"I'm doing what's right for our people," Clarke hisses, stepping up into his space, her bloodstained face and pale contacts making her look terrifying and otherworldly, the Wanheda heritage she tried so hard to bury coming to the surface.

"Our people?" Bellamy shouts, gesturing widely at the green screen beyond them. Jasper shuffles sideways with the boom mic to avoid getting filmed by the camera that pans over the extras that are lying still and limp at their feet. "_Our_ people? Lyza, this isn't what they would have wanted and _you know it_. They'll never forgive you."

"I don't care. They never forgave me for being a Wanheda in the first place," Clarke shoots back, and Bellamy wonders if the camera can pick up how much that line is hurting her inside or if he's the only one who can see it. He's also having trouble not wincing at Jaha's retcon - the Arkadian Empire coming to terms with one of their top commanders being half Wanheda was like, a huge plot point in season 3, but _apparently_ Jaha doesn't care about previously established canon.

"Lyza, that doesn't matter - " Bellamy says.

"It matters to me!" Clarke shouts back, and Bellamy doesn't have to fake his shock at her outburst because _that's not in the script_. She's supposed to say it won't matter when they're dead, blah blah, and he's supposed to let her walk away -

Bellamy steps forward like she's magnetic and grabs her shoulders.

"If you need forgiveness - " he says, and Clarke promptly bursts into tears.

"Cut!" Jaha demands, storming in and separating them. "That's _not_ in the story."

"But it felt right!" Clarke says, clear-eyed again. One of the 'bodies' lying on the grass stretches their back and politely asks the nearest intern for a glass of water.

"Then it won't look natural when she walks away!" Jaha says. He shoos them back to their starting positions.

"I don't think Lyza should walk away," Bellamy tries to argue. "Augustus wouldn't let her be alone like that."

"He does now," Jaha says, retreating behind the camera. Monty gives them a sympathetic grimace. "From the top!"

  
  
  
  


slithered here from eden (just to sit outside your door) by arkabitch  
Arkadia (TV)

19 Apr 2015

**No Archive Warnings Apply**, Lyza Nightbourne/Augustus Sun, Fluff and Smut, Sexual Content, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Idiots In Love, no beta-ing we post like men

The first time Augustus goes down on her, they've just barely survived battle with a Nightbourne fleet and they're both riding the high of adrenaline. It's hurried and messy and when she tries to return the favour, he tells her they should probably fix the fusion reactor before it melts down. She doesn't question it that time, or the next, or the next, but the fourth time he tries to run, Lyza thinks they should address the elephant in the room.  


prompt fill for lywindus: 4 times Augustus went down on Lyza + 1 time she went down on him  


Language: English Words: 7,309 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 724 Kudos: 8592 Hits: 114039

  
  
  


ARKADIA ALL STARS  
  
Murphy shared a link  
Murphy  
"Top Potential Lygustus First Kisses As Voted By Fans" ;) also i checked the most popular mature fics on ao3 and the fans are pretty united in what they want to see  
Clarke  
are you legally allowed to do that  
Miller  
unfortunately there is no law preventing Murphy specifically from being on the internet. sure wish there was   
Monty  
actually Murphy explicit fics are naughtier than mature go big or go home  
Raven  
:O  
Clarke  
no I mean like, you know how the writers aren't allowed to take ideas from fanfic??? aren't we technically like.... in the same boat now  
Jasper  
YOLO  
Murphy  
oh  
OH  
there sure is a lot of cunnilingus happening  
Miller  
Bellamy just checked his phone and legitimately choked on his sandwich like we had to call a waiter over to do the heimlich maneuver and everything  


the one and only✔  
@jasperjjordan

omg Lygustus almost killed @BBlake

❤ 498 12:38 PM • November 02, 2019

337 people are talking about this

new day new bullshit  
@morganaz

replying to  @jasperjjordan

@jasperjjordan excuse me what the fuck does this mean????

❤ 650 12:40 PM • November 02, 2019

529 people are talking about this

lygustus or bust  
@arkabitch

replying to  @jasperjjordan

it's happening EVERYONE STAY CALM #LYGUSTUS

❤ 932 12:43 PM • November 02, 2019

718 people are talking about this

High King Elijah  
@highkingelijah

replying to  @jasperjjordan

#LYGUSTUS IS ENDGAME!!!!!

❤ 1,256 12:47 PM • November 02, 2019

983 people are talking about this

  


ARKADIA ALL STARS  
  
Clarke  
JFC JASPER delete that tweet, it's going to absolutely destroy people's hearts when they see the finale  
Jasper  
o shit. Shit fuck. I didn't even think of that  
for a moment I was so excited about our parody I forgot I lived in a world where Jaha decides canon Monty  
press f to pay respects  
Miller  
f  
Clarke  
F  
Murphy  
gg  
???????????????  


  
  
  
  


"How do you think we should kiss?" Clarke asks out of the blue one evening as Bellamy is cooking dinner.

Having his back to her as he stirs the pasta is the only thing that saves him. He struggles to catch his breath or to think of a coherent answer beyond _it doesn't matter, any way, I would kiss you however you want me to, it would be perfect no matter what we did._ He has to put the wooden spoon down and grab the counter to steady himself from the overwhelming wave of longing that threatens to buckle his knees. _Fuck_. He knows he likes Clarke. He's known for years, ever since he woke up one morning after a particularly rowdy wrap party and found her curled up in an arm chair, her face soft and innocent in sleep, a plastic cup still halfway full of beer clutched to her like a teddy bear, and realized that somewhere along the way she'd become one of his best friends. It's stupid, really, how much he likes her. What he'd give to kiss her.

Bellamy turns around and at the look on his face, Miller quietly takes his bowl of cereal and tiptoes up the stairs. Clarke pays neither of them any attention, her narrowed eyes firmly focused on her phone, her socked feet absently kicking the cabinet by her bar stool. Bellamy shuffles closer, still holding his breath, and looks over her arm.

Clarke is scrolling through Lygustus gifs. All the air leaves Bellamy's chest at once like he's been kicked in the solar plexus.

"Is that one of the links Murphy sent?" Bellamy hears a voice ask. It sounds like his voice, but it's very distant.

"Yeah," Clarke says, scrunching her face. "There's an awful lot of fans who think it should happen when one of us is injured. What's with that?"

She finally looks up, and her smile falters as she meets Bellamy's gaze.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asks urgently.

"Not feeling well all of a sudden," Bellamy forces himself to say. "Can you watch the pasta?"

"Of course," Clarke says immediately, hopping off the bar stool. She hesitates as he stumbles away. "Are you sure you don't want me to..."

"I'll be back," Bellamy insists. He goes up the stairs and bangs on Miller's door. It swings open a few seconds later. Miller grimaces at him.

"Pretty sure you're supposed to be downstairs, having a very important conversation," Miller says.

"She meant Lyza and Augustus," Bellamy says breathlessly. "Not us. Miller, I'm in love with her."

"Yeah," Miller says, nodding at the stairs. "That's why you should be down there, talking to her, instead of interrupting the League semi finals."

Bellamy keeps staring at him. Miller's face rapidly goes through all five stages of grief and then some.

"Shit, did you really not know?" Miller asks. 

"I knew," Bellamy whispers. And he did - that's not the problem here. It just didn't quite sink in, until now, how much he's losing by not telling her.

"You absolute constipated dumbass. How the _fuck_ did you not notice until now?"

"Please come downstairs," Bellamy begs. "I can't be alone with her right now."

"You owe me," Miller mutters, pausing the stream and grabbing his bowl of cereal. Bellamy doesn't follow immediately - first he goes into the bathroom and scrubs hard at his face with cold water, and then spends a moment staring into the mirror, wondering if heartbreak is written on his face, if she'll take one look at him and know. When he finally works up the courage to go back downstairs, Clarke is straining the pasta, and Miller has already distracted her with talk of travel arrangements for the upcoming con. Bellamy lets the sound of their voices wash over him as he finishes tossing a salad. He doesn't even flinch when Clarke laughs loudly at a joke.

He can do this. He can be normal. It doesn't even hurt that much, when he turns around and Clarke smiles at him like the sun rising over the horizon.

  
  
  
  


ARKADIA ALL STARS  
  
Jasper  
HEY so...  
we've all figured out that screenwriting is a lot harder than we thought it was  
Miller  
still a better story than canon Jasper  
yes yes  
but consider. we brought an actual screenwriter on board.  
Harper  
risky...... Raven  
you better not have gone ahead and already invited someone  
Jasper  
i'm on a date with Maya and she's in the bathroom pls pls pls can I tell her pls she's asking me what i do for fun lately but i literally don't do anything else but film ....  
Jasper  
SHE'S COMING BACK  
Jasper made a poll: tell Maya YES/NO  
Miller  
I don't really care either way Clarke  
are we going by majority rules or unanimous vote?  
Emori  
are you SURE this is a good idea?  
I think Maya would understand  
Emori  
Fine lets do it  
Jasper added Maya Vie  
Jasper shared all previous chat history  
Murphy  
hi Maya. if you tell anyone about this and we get in trouble I will slash 3 of your tires Maya  
honestly this explains SO MUCH you guys have been so weird lately  
Monty  
wait why do you only slash 3 tires??? Clarke  
if you slash all four the person's insurance pays for it  
Murphy  
^that wait how do YOU know that? Clarke  
Kane dated my mom when I was in uni, I was salty about it  
Miller  
wHAT  
Emori  
KANE? Murphy  
fuck Clarke's a closet badass  
Raven  
Clarke hasn't been in a closet for anything the entire time we've known her Clarke  
ayyyyeeeeee bi-five  


  
  
  
  


There's a sense of teenage rebellion as they sneak onto the set in the middle of the night. They're no strangers to incredibly late filming shifts, of course, but it still feels different to be here when they're not supposed to be. The set is so much emptier without all the usual people involved in production - there's just Monty and Jasper setting up their equipment, and Lincoln over in the corner painting a mosaic of tiny scrapes and bruises on Murphy's face, and Zeke helping Raven into her mechasuit, and, of course, the rest of the cast. Their voices as they get ready and go over lines echo around the warehouse.

"All right everyone!" Maya calls out, holding up her clipboard. She's been made de facto director while the rest of them figure out their shit, and Bellamy's fine with that. Maya's done a lot of good work on the 'softer' scenes from previous seasons, her thoughtful manner providing a nice counterbalance to Jaha's plot-driven intensity. Bellamy feels comfortable with her standing behind the camera. "Remember," Maya says once everyone's gathered close. "There's no real pressure, since this project is just for us."

"There is kind of pressure," Raven points out. "Since we need to go home and get some sleep before Jaha's wake-up call."

"Right, there's that," Maya acknowledges. "Well, we have about a week to film all the scenes we want here until Jaha has this set blown up. I'll try to pull some strings and see if I can get the filming schedule rearranged, but I think we can get it done!"

"Let's do this!" Bellamy says, and they break apart with grins to take up their positions.

He can't stop smiling as he and Clarke step up to the center of the set and meet eyes. Looking at her has been a slightly mortifying experience ever since he had the abrupt and terrifying realization that he's head over heels for her, but even that anxiety is manageable right now, drowned out by the feeling that for the first time all season they're finally standing in the right place.

"Ready?" Clarke asks. Bellamy struggles to school his face into Augustus' more stoic persona.

"Ready," he says. "Lets do this. Together."

That first scene might be the fastest they've ever filmed a scene. It's not just that Monty is only doing a handful of takes since they're playing this fairly laissez-faire - it just flows together, like something beautiful and unstoppable, from the moment Maya yells go to the moment he and Clarke march off set in unison, ready to take on the universe.

Bellamy lets the smile finally come back on his face as Maya yells cut and runs over to hug them, squealing that they did so well, that was it exactly what she imagined.

"I forgot how good it felt to play Lyza and actually, you know, like what she was doing," Clarke says fervently as she accepts a drink of water from Miller.

"Yeah, that just made me more sad about how shitty the real thing is going to be," Emori says from the sidelines. Bellamy winces sympathetically with her.

  
  
  
  


Zoe Monroe✔  
@monzoe

@JMurphy @emori Looks like the cast's been working really hard on the last season of #Arkadia!

❤ 8,944 6:19 PM • November 15, 2019

6.2K people are talking about this

Raven #1 Reyes  
@ravenrays

replying to  @monzoe

@JMurphy @emori awwwwww u almost look cute here

❤ 12,619 7:39 PM • November 15, 2019

9.3K people are talking about this

new day new bullshit  
@morganaz

is it just me... or do the actors seem really tired in all their photos and ig stories lately?????

Zoe Monroe✔@monzoe

@JMurphy @emori Looks like the cast's been working really hard on the last season of #Arkadia!

  


❤ 453 7:55 PM • November 15, 2019

192 people are talking about this

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ongoing thank you to [@grumpybell](https://grumpybell.tumblr.com) for letting me use some of her beautiful [icons](https://grumpybell.tumblr.com/icons) in this fic!
> 
> This fic would not have been possible without these wonderful html for ao3 guides:  
Reference for tweets [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22517134/chapters/53929063#workskin)  
Reference for tumblr posts [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099596/chapters/50203892)  
Reference for the groupchat [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19249828)  
Reference for the fake ao3 summary [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20531333/chapters/50073608#workskin)  
The mock google docs were duct-taped together with various examples from an excellent website called [w3schools](https://www.w3schools.com/), including:  
\- their [two-column spread](https://www.w3schools.com/howto/howto_css_two_columns.asp) example  
\- their [navigation menu](https://www.w3schools.com/howto/howto_css_navbar_icon.asp) example  
\- their [chat](https://www.w3schools.com/howto/howto_css_chat.asp) example  
W3 schools is an AMAZING resource to learn html and other programming languages and I cannot recommend them highly enough. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! If you're interested, you can find me on tumblr as [kindclaws](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com) and find out what I'm currently working on in my [writing updates tag.](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com/tagged/sara's-writing-upd8s)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **CONTENT WARNINGS:** uhhh, none really! there's just the mortifying ordeal of friends teasing you about your crush, and continued mourning over Wells' death in the public and private sphere.
> 
> Thanks for waiting! Shoutout to the anon who asked for an update and hurried me along a little ;) I did this chapter's html on some very, _very_ patchy internet in rural Canada, and had to reload like five times every time I went back and forth between editing and preview modes. Formatting may not be as clean as usual. 
> 
> Read on for bedsharing and fictional fandom discourse, because obv we don't have enough of that in real life.

  
  


Marcus Kane✔  
@markane

We're taking questions at #SciCon19 is less than twenty-four hours. Who's excited for season 7?? #Arkadia

❤ 4,243 6:49 PM • November 17, 2019

3.1K people are talking about this

  
  
  
  


Miller smirks at him from across the compartment. 

"Not a word," Bellamy says lowly. 

"I don't have to say anything," Miller says. "Whatever you're thinking, it's ten times worse."

"Miller," Bellamy says. "I'm serious."

There must be something in his voice that gives him away because Miller's face goes serious. His eyes flicker to Clarke's motionless head, which is currently nestled into the crook of Bellamy's neck. The sound of Clarke's slow breathing tells them both that she's not getting up on her own any time soon. The arm pinned underneath her is starting to go numb, but Bellamy knows she hasn't been sleeping well - none of them have been sleeping well, since they're spending several hours every night sneaking back onto sets for their fake season 7, but Bellamy knows that even the hours of rest they _do_ manage to catch haven't been good to Clarke. And they have another sleepless weekend ahead of them now, since cons always tend to be high-pressure, and someone, inevitably, always starts a party in their hotel room.

"At some point," Miller says. "You should really consider telling her."

Bellamy twists his neck around, trying to see if Clarke's eyes are really closed, trying to reassure himself her breathing hasn't changed. 

"I can't," Bellamy says. "There's too much pressure. And we're _professionals_."

Miller snorts. 

"Maybe we were in season 1," he says. "But now? Face it Bellamy. We're friends."

"At the wrap party," Bellamy says desperately. "That way... if she doesn't feel the same..."

Miller slaps himself in the face, and as the sound rings out through the bus Clarke jerks awake. At least Miller has the decency to look a little bit guilty. 

"Sorry Clarke," he says. "Didn't mean to be so loud."

"Did you just slap yourself in the face?" Clarke asks him, blinking blearily. To Bellamy, she murmurs something about his arm that he doesn't really catch. 

"Mosquitoes," Bellamy says. He flexes his hand to get the blood moving in it again as Clarke sits up and props her elbows on the table in front of them. 

"How long do we have to the hotel?" Clarke murmurs. 

"Just under an hour," Miller says, checking his phone. "You ready to wow a crowd, Griffin?"

"Honestly?" Clarke asks morosely. "Just thinking about the con is making my stomach turn. Do you guys realize that we're going to have all the people asking us questions in the panels who care enough about the show to pay actual money to see us, and are going to be hanging onto every word trying to guess what Jaha has planned, and we have to look them in the eye and keep them invested and know the entire time that they're going to _hate_ it?"

"I try not to think about it," Bellamy says. He elbows Clarke and she yelps before batting his arm away. "Come on, Clarke, we'll find something to do in the city. We'll find a silver lining."

He can tell the smile she gives him is forced, but it's better than nothing. 

Three hours later, in a twist no one could have foreseen, Raven and Murphy have dragged most of them out to an exclusive pre-con celebration and Bellamy finds himself leaning against a wall, on the outskirts of a massive throng of dancing bodies.The music is loud enough that he's genuinely curious how the hosts are going to get away without noise complaints. The bass rattles his bones and all the teeth in his skull, makes his lungs tremble within the confines of his ribcage. Flashing lights paint the tangle of bodies in front of him in alternate shades of green and orange and purple, the pattern too complex for him to predict. Their hands, outstretched above their heads, are reaching for the sky - or, more likely, the chandelier that trembles under the barrage of sound.

In the center of it all there is Clarke. There is always Clarke, at the center of things that Bellamy pays attention to. This night is not so different from most nights. He watches her twist in the shifting lights, her hair a glowing beacon calling him home, the flash of her teeth in the darkness making him shiver. Raven and Murphy have had her pinned between them for the better part of a song and Bellamy's stomach churns with some complicated emotion. Not quite jealousy, not when being pressed up against her himself would mean he can't see the way her head rolls back, throat exposed to reaching hands, artistry to a keen eye. If it's painful to watch, why can't he look away?

Raven kisses Clarke's cheek and starts pushing her way out of the crowd at the turn of the next song. She's limping more than usual - the hip movements and bent knees must be extra pressure on her back. Bellamy wordlessly jerks his chin towards the couches on the back as she passes, and she blows him a kiss from the tip of her middle finger and pats him on the shoulder.

Clarke is in front of him a moment later, breathless, her chest heaving for air as her smile splits her face in two. This song hasn't built up to it's deafening volume yet. In the calm before the storm, Clarke pulls his head down to her level with a hand on his collar and shouts into his ear.

"I need a partner! Dance with me!"

He shouldn't.

He really shouldn't. He's not Raven or Murphy or some other nameless con guest in the crowd. He doesn't just want to dance. He wants to push her up against this concrete column he's leaning against and kiss her until they're both dizzy without air. Or he'd like _her_ to push him up against it and kiss him. He sees it play out in his mind's eye and it looks so easy, so effortless. In real life he holds himself still, crosses his arms over his chest so his yearning hands won't reach for her.

"I don't know if dancing is still a thing that I do, princess," he says, but it's probably too loud now for her to hear him. Her face is puzzled, hopeful, the smile still wide. She puts a hand on his elbow and all his resistance falls apart. "Fine, one song," Bellamy says with a sigh, and she probably can't hear that either but the flash of her smile tells him she hasn't mistaken the way he straightens up and takes her hand.

Clarke pulls him into the center of the dancing mass of bodies, where it feels like they've accumulated enough people to generate their own gravity. It seems safer here than the outskirts of the party - if he's going to be dancing, better to do it where the bodies are packed so tightly that no one will be able to look him up and down and judge if he's lost his touch.

It smells like sweat and alcohol, but not unpleasantly so. Clarke hooks her fingers in his belt-loops and Bellamy leans in, his nose filled with traces of the shampoo he's so familiar with. Someone flailing a little too enthusiastically behind Clarke makes him instinctively pull her closer, out of their reach where she won't be hit in the back of the head with a stray arm, but Clarke takes this as invitation to smooth her hands along the sides of his ribcage and up his back. Her palms press into the contours of muscles he put on when he was a struggling actor desperate for auditions, and mostly forgot about until now. The heat of the club hangs over them like they stand in the midst of a cloud, wet and heavy, and Clarke's hands leave searing heat on his skin in their wake. Still, he shivers. He's not cold. He's just afraid.

_One song,_ Bellamy tells himself. _Just one song._

Clarke's eyes shine as the scattered disco lights pass over them, like the beam of a lighthouse illuminating a dangerous coast. If she keeps looking at him like that Bellamy is going to lose his entire mind. He grips her shoulders and spins her around on a high note to face away from him. Clarke catches on with frightening enthusiasm and steps back into his space. Bellamy's breath catches as her swaying hips trace infinity loops against his groin. It's no worse than the sandwich she danced in with Raven and Murphy, but as far as Bellamy knows they're not currently in love with her. _You're going to destroy me,_ he thinks, half ecstatic, half afraid. He pulls Clarke closer with one hand splayed against the outward curve of her stomach and traces his lips against the curve of her neck and tastes salt.

He shouldn't be able to hear her gasp. The music is too loud, there's too many people. Maybe he feels it instead, the exhale as she leans her head back against his clavicle, like the memory of a wind. Bellamy wants to hear that sound - or the suggestion of it - again, so he bites her. His other hand smooths up her chest, feather-light, until he reaches her throat. He feels the vibration of her moan under his fingertips, again and again as he grazes his teeth along the curve of her neck. His vision seems dark at the edges, flickering, and he has to force himself to breath in deeply until the lightheadedness goes away. 

Bellamy begins to wonder if the one song he said he'd dance for is over yet. It's hard to tell with these playlists sometimes, just one cascade of riotous drumbeats after another. Clarke's ass nestled against his groin is destroying any sense of time he might still have had. It could be seconds, it could be years. It's torture either way. 

_I can't stay,_ he thinks desperately. _This isn't worth the risk._

And just then, the music falls away. His ears ring in a deafening silence before it picks up again with a very different vocalist. The song is over.

Bellamy pulls away. Clarke twists to look at him, her eyes wide, her fingers reaching into the space he puts between them. 

"I gotta go," Bellamy mouths to her, and ducks his head before he can catch more than a glimpse of her disappointed look. It was easier to enter the crowd of dancers than it is to leave. He's elbowed twice and has to prop up an enthusiastically drunk guy before he makes it to the edges of the room, in the opposite direction than where he started. It's fine. He makes a beeline for the neon red _exit_ sign and takes gasping breaths of cold, fresh air in the hallway outside. The music falls muffled behind the thud of a heavy door. His ears are definitely ringing.

Bellamy rubs hard at his eyes. 

"Fuck," he says. "Oh, fuck."

He makes his way to his and Miller’s hotel room in a daze, firmly resolving to put off any and all emotional crises until after the con, after the scrutiny and the cameras are far behind them. Bellamy intends to go to sleep but once he's in bed, eyes wide in the darkness and listening to the hotel's too-loud air conditioning go on and off, he realizes that might have been too optimistic.

Maya is writing a scene for them in the penultimate episode. Not the real one, of course - the fake one. Though Bellamy is starting to get those things mixed up in his head. In it, the clock is ticking into single digits as Lyza and Augustus race to disable a warhead headed for a peace conference. Everyone put a lot of input into it in the group chat, mostly jokes at first, thanks to Murphy, until they got serious. They're going to disable the warhead just in time, just before it explodes and takes them with it, and Augustus will move first, grabbing Lyza and kissing her with all the frantic energy of having just survived becoming stardust.

Bellamy plays it over in his mind. Wonders if their friends will be on set, if that will make it harder. Wonders how Clarke will portray it, if she'll have Lyza kiss him back with teeth or if she'll melt and let her be soft for once. Wonders how Clarke would feel if he kissed her himself, no characters between them, no script and no cameras.

He hears footsteps come down the hallway and pause in front of his door. Miller, then, having finally come to crash in the other bed. Bellamy waits for the beep and click of the room key authenticating. He hears a knock, instead. After a moment of deliberation he stumbles out of bed and finds Clarke on the other side of the door. Her eyeliner is a little smudged and wisps of stray hair are sticking to her face and neck, hiding goosebumps. She looks like she's had a good party. She sways a little, but her eyes are clear. Exhaustion, not alcohol.

"Hi?" Bellamy asks. Not that he's not happy to see her knocking on his door in the middle of the night - this is like every fever dream ever - but he's not sure why. She has her own room with Raven down the hall.

"Hi," Clarke says with a wry smile. "I, uh. I think I lost my room key, and I have no idea where Raven is. Can I sleep with you tonight - I mean, in your room?"

"If you're willing to deal with Miller's snoring, yeah," Bellamy says, opening the door wide enough for her to step through.

"Is he here?" Clarke whispers as she comes in.

"Not yet," Bellamy says in a normal voice. Without the light coming in from the hallway Clarke is just a slightly darker silhouette against an already dark room. Bellamy turns on the light in the bathroom and lets it seep in through the cracked door. In the faint incandescent yellow he rummages through his half-open luggage. "I have a spare shirt you can sleep in. Only one pair of pajama pants though," he says, looking down at the soft plaid pants he's wearing. "Is it less awkward if I'm wearing them, or you're wearing them?"

"If you are, I think," Clarke says with a soft laugh. "There's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm too tired to find it."

Bellamy just smiles as she takes the shirt and ducks into the bathroom to change. He puts his hands on his hips and stares hard at the hotel bed while trying not to listen to the soft rustle of clothing. It's a fairly wide bed. They don't have to touch, if they don't want to. He scrambles in when he hears Clarke turn the light off.

"Where are you?" she asks the darkness. He's only a little disappointed he won't get to see her in his shirt.

"Over here," Bellamy says. "Follow my voice."

She tries to get in on the same side of the bed he's laying on and they manage to laugh it off. At this time of night, with how tired they are, things that could be awkward in the daylight feel distant, hysterical. The alarm clock on the nightstand blinks 2:37 in bright red letters. Clarke settles under the sheets, finally, and he listens to the slow rise of her breathing.

"When do you think Augustus fell in love?" she asks out of nowhere.

Bellamy turns his head to look at her even though he can only faintly make out her profile.

"Season 2," he says. "When she defended him in front of the council."

Clarke thinks for a moment.

"That was a good episode," she says at last. Bellamy's lips tug upwards into a smile. Her rant hadn't been scripted - at least, not the way she'd taken it. They'd gotten into some kind of a fight before filming that scene and Jaha snapped at them, telling them to stop being so stiff at each other, and Bellamy hadn't known how. By that point he'd forgiven the nepotism of her hiring and had started respecting Clarke for her own hard work, but he hadn't really figured out how to take responsibility for his attraction to her, so he was just constantly picking fights with her and that melted into Augustus' character despite his best efforts. Luckily the writers and the fans had taken to it, but in a pivotal moment in season 2 when Augustus had defected to Lyza's side he was supposed to tone down the hostility. Lyza was supposed to have a long monologue about his supposed redemption. What no one had expected was Clarke immediately turning on him next, and demanding that he start trusting her the way she was trusting him.

It wasn't Lyza talking.

"When did Lyza fall in love?" Bellamy asks. _When, not if._ They know better than to believe the scripts.

"Season 1," Clarke says sleepily, so quiet he barely hears her. "When you pulled me out of the fire."

Bellamy doesn't say anything for a long, long time. He barely breathes, afraid that moving at all will shatter the moment. When at last his lungs are burning and he lets it out, Clarke is breathing the slow and peaceful pace of the dreaming.

She answered him so quickly. She didn't even have to think.

  
  
  
  


new day new bullshit  
@morganaz

As someone who uses a cane @ravenrays answer about what Morgana's disability means to her has me sobbing on the floor

❤ 1,957 10:13 AM • November 18, 2019

1K people are talking about this

lygustus or bust  
@arkabitch

I love this cast so much... who else is crying in the club tonight... 

❤ 1,155 10:21 AM • November 18, 2019

943 people are talking about this

High King Elijah  
@highkingelijah

Guys, please be sensitive when you're asking the panel about Wells, 1 or 2 questions is understandable but they all look so tense. :(

❤ 3,281 10:34 AM • November 18, 2019

2.6K people are talking about this

lygana_queen **lywindus** asked:you're at scicon right?????? what are they saying?  I'm paraphrasing here but someone asked Clarke what Lyza's motivation for not turning over the launch codes was and she was like "Lyzas at a point were she doesnt really trust anyone else to do the right thing anymore. There's Augustus and her crew, but there's been so many sabotage attempts on lasting peace in the system that she feels like she has to take it all on herself, and all those failures feel so personal to her that she cant give up control. You saw Augustus' reaction, and next season you're gonna see a lot of tension between them as they try to compromise because they've flipped in a way from their season one selves, where initially Augustus had no hope in people and Lyza did, and now he's the one who thinks people will make the right choice, and Lyza's too traumatized to believe it.  #scicon19#arkadia #lygustus#also raven interrupted and was like#'bitch needs a nap and space-mcdonalds'#and john laughed so hard he fell under the table for a minute#i love this cast............ and i miss wells again 8,538 notes 

lygana_queen **augustus-ho** asked:What did Bellamy say about the next season???  he was just really quiet to be honest  #scicon19#arkadia #i hope he's okay#like you can tell the whole cast is just kinda tense??#idk i'm trying not to read into it and give them their privacy 248 notes 

High King Elijah  
@highkingelijah

Am I the only one whose worried that Jaha is totally refusing to mention Prince Elijah? Like, we never found out what the deal with his betrothed was, are we just forgetting that plot point???

❤ 2,241 11:46 AM • November 18, 2019

1.9K people are talking about this

  
  
  
  


Bellamy pleads the late night and an overwhelming influx of fans to take a break back at his hotel room between panels. They get an hour for lunch, and that's enough time for a powernap, for someone determined enough to get one.

But once Bellamy gets upstairs, the weight on his eyelids flies away. He's still exhausted and sluggish from the lack of sleep, but there's a restlessness on top of that. His phone buzzes insistently with notifications of Murphy photographing the various catering options with captions like, _I could make something better than this at home_ and _what do you want me to save you, asshole???_ and _damn you weren't kidding about the naps._ He sets it to silent in case the urge to sleep actually does come about in the next few minutes and drifts to the window, where he can see a wide swath of slightly smoggy sky over the skyline.

He's not _expecting_ the knock on the door, but when it comes, he's not surprised. It feels a little bit like he's read the end of a story and has an idea of how things should fall into place, even if he doesn't know the exact words. He chose not to believe in destiny a long time ago, because if he was destined to be just the kid who poured all his energy into his sister and never amounted to anything himself then what was the point of trying, and if he was destined for something else then all the hard work had no value. But maybe some things are left up to destiny.

He opens the door, and he's not surprised to see Clarke walking away down the hall.

"Hey!" he shouts after her. "Where are you going?"

She turns back so quickly he's afraid he's given her whiplash and in a few steps she's back in front of him, tugging nervously on her lanyard, her smile apologetic.

"I'm sorry!" she says quickly. "You weren't answering your phone, but Murphy said you'd gone upstairs for a break and I figured it'd be a good time to pick up my charger, and I just got a text from Raven saying that you were trying to nap. Did I wake you?"

"No," Bellamy says warmly, amused by the quick flood of her explanation. "As soon as I got up here, my brain woke up. Come in."

"Hate when that happens," Clarke says sympathetically, following him inside and making a beeline for the phone charger she forgot plugged in by the bed this morning. Once it's tucked into her satchel, she gives him a scrutinizing look. "You're sure I'm not keeping you from napping?"

"You being here won't stop me from napping if that's what I want," Bellamy says. He waits a beat. "You're not as interesting as you think."

She throws one of the pillows at him, as he knew she would, and he smiles as he ducks under the assault.

"Can I stay, then? I could use a break from the con craziness, too."

"You can if you stop throwing pillows at me," Bellamy says, trying to sound casual even though part of his brain is now thinking about all the things he and Clarke could do, alone in a room with a bed. He stands up and forces those thoughts away. He wants her to stay, but they can't just be lying here for the rest of the lunch break, or he'll do something stupid like tell her he wants to marry her. "Monty finished editing the first couple of fake episodes," he says instead. "You wanna see?"

He's pleased to see her face light up. That's answer enough, so he plugs his laptop into the back of the tv amid some gentle teasing about Clarke's surprise that he knows what an HDMI cable is, and then Clarke has fluffed up the pillows on their bed and is patting the spot next to her.

Bellamy can't very well go sit on the other bed now, can he? He settles in next to her, hyper-aware of the warmth of the sheets where she was stretched out earlier, and tries to pay attention as the familiar notes of their opening theme play. Luckily it's easy to get drawn in to the project they've put so many sleepless nights into. The fake episodes are shorter than the real ones, only about twenty minutes each. It turns out that not having an extensive CGI budget for a show that's set in space and features large-scale starship battles really cuts into your runtime. But Bellamy doesn't care that the makeup isn't as good as usual, that the dead redshirt Augustus finds on the bridge is totally just Jasper wearing a wig, that there's an inexplicable green screen behind the windshield instead of a field of stars.

This was filmed with love, and that matters more.

When it cuts to old footage of Wells, Bellamy feels a lump rise up in his throat and turns to Clarke. He's not surprised to see her crying gently, even as her lips are turned upwards in a smile.

"I'm okay," she whispers. "I just - "

Bellamy pauses it.

"Let's take a breather," he says, and he takes her hand and leads her out onto the balcony. The sliding door squeaks shut behind them, and neither hear the knock on the front door, or see the handle turn.

Outside the air is sharp and colder than Bellamy would like it to be, but the brightness of the sky above them eases a weight off his shoulders. Clarke leans her arms against the balcony's railing and stares hard ahead. Bellamy wonders if she's looking at the pigeons roosting in the eaves across the street, their feathers fluffed and their soft cooing audible from here.

"Bellamy," Clarke begins, her voice unsteady. "I have an audition in England. The day after we wrap."

He suddenly feels a cold sink in to him that is unrelated to the weather. _So that's it_, he thinks distantly. _After all this, we go our separate ways_. It shouldn't shock him so much. They were coworkers long before they were friends, and underneath the memories and his unrequited feelings, that's still all they are.

"It's confirmed?" he forces himself to ask, and hopes he sounds happy for her.

"Not quite," Clarke says. "It sounds like there are still a few options they're considering, but. Dumb American blonde. How many times have I played that?" she says with a laugh that doesn't sound amused at all.

He was going to wait until the wrap party to tell her he loves her. So if she wanted nothing to do with him afterwards, it wouldn't impact the filming. But it would just be cruel of him to tell her now that he knows she's leaving.

"Okay," Bellamy says. Once he's accepted it he breathes easier. He sets his shoulders back like he's going to war and feels a strange sense of calm and clarity settle over him. He's in love with Clarke, but they've run out of time, and knowing that means he knows what to do with himself. He will smile at her and tell her he's proud, and they will go downstairs and carefully navigate the minefield of awkward questions about the worst series finale in the world. Then they'll go home and he'll sit next to Miller so he doesn't have to endure the agony of her falling asleep against him, and they'll finish filming Jaha's god-awful plan and politely hug at the wrap party and she'll take a plane overseas and he will slowly text her things about his day less and less, until one day in the future she barely thinks of him and he can think of her without pain.

He's a fucking actor, he can fake a smile. So he turns to her and smiles and says -

"You'll do great. I'm proud of you, Clarke."

Her eyes narrow.

"Bullshit," she says, with a degree of ferocity that scares him a little. She steps into his space, backing him up against the glass divider. "What part of _dumb American blonde_ did you not hear? This is - you're supposed to tell me not to take it. That I can do better."

"You can do better," Bellamy says automatically.

"Are you even paying attention?"

"Of course I am."

"What are you really thinking?" Clarke presses. Bellamy slips his hand into his pocket and draws out his phone.

"I'm thinking that the panel we're supposed to be on starts in three minutes and it takes us ten to get there," he says coolly. Clarke's eyes go wide, but when he jerks open the sliding door her hands reach for him, fisting in the folds of his sweater.

"_Bellamy_, I'm not done with you - _ow._ Why'd you stop walking?"

Because Jaha is sitting on the edge of his hotel bed, the remote in hand, watching the end of the first episode of the fake season he was never supposed to find out about.

"Your Highness, come back!" Lyza shouts on screen, the volume quiet but somehow still deafening in the silence of the room. "Please, wait!"

Clarke's hand instantly finds Bellamy's and squeezes tightly. Whatever fight had been brewing between them on the balcony feels distant now, a secondary priority to facing down Jaha's reaction together. But Jaha barely acknowledges their return to the room, his disbelieving gaze still fixed upon the screen, where Lyza is thrashing in Augustus' arms.

There's a close up of Clarke's hand, just out of reach of the airlock's controls as the escape pod filled with explosives disconnects. In the script they wrote it as drifting through an expanse of stars in slow-motion, appearing dwarfed by the void around them. Monty has spliced in some footage from season 1 and 4 to give the impression of space around them, but in the absence of CGI and Wells himself they've had to make do mostly with filming everyone's heartbroken reaction to Prince Elijah's sacrifice.

Lyza reaches out with an anguished sob, her fingers closing on empty air, as Augustus holds her back and makes no move to hide the tears flowing down his own face. Out of the shadows around them their allies step out - Raven and Miller and Emori in their bloody and battered mech suits, their faces artistically rubbed with fake soot and engine grease. The lack of realistic CGI and the improvised set should make it shittier, but for some reason, the focus on them just makes it hit Bellamy harder.

"Elijah! _Elijah_!" Clarke yells, her voice cracking as the camera pans. Bellamy can hear other sniffles, faintly. No one had to fake their tears for this scene - not when it felt like they were _really_ saying goodbye to Wells, and everyone behind the scenes was visibly crying too. In a real production they would have had the time to try again and take care not to let the cameracrew's hiccups make it into the final audio.

But no one had even considered trying to do a second take. The first one had taken enough of them. Bellamy remembers it was the only scene they filmed that night, and wordlessly they'd all agreed to go home and rest after it. Not even a single complaint about having their makeup done for just one take, not when everyone had crawled straight into bed feeling like a wrung-out rag.

Just watching it now makes Bellamy's breath hitch. His eyes dart between the screen and Jaha's unreadable face as it fades to black and for a moment there is only the sound of a heart beating, before silence. Wells' name appears on the screen in small, neat letters, and Jaha's face crumples.

"My _son_," he whispers.

"Thelonious?" Clarke says, tiptoeing carefully forward. "I'm sorry. We didn't mean to - "

"You filmed this in secret?" he rasps, his hands shaking as they reach up to touch the sudden influx of tears streaming down his face.

"Yes," Bellamy says mutedly. Jaha wasn't supposed to find out. When Bellamy tried to imagine his reaction to their fake season, his mind always went to Jaha's anger when they questioned him at table reads. He thought he'd be furious, and offended, and _loud_. He feels completely unprepared for Jaha's quiet sobs.

"I tried to erase my son," Jaha whispers, as Clarke sits beside him and leans her head against his shoulder. She meets Bellamy's eyes and winces. "Remembering him, it hurts so much. I tried to pretend he was gone somewhere. That he'd come back to me. To Arkadia. My _son_."

"We didn't mean for this to hurt you," Clarke says, swallowing hard.

"It was supposed to be a secret," Bellamy says. "For us to say goodbye."

"Yes," Jaha says, his eyes suddenly feverbright. "A goodbye, yes, that's what was missing. You have - you have shown me how to say goodbye."

And with that he suddenly tears away from Clarke and is rushing out the door before either of them can stop him or ask what's going on. Bellamy and Clarke exchange a glance. Maybe it's six years of working together, maybe it's innate, maybe it's the common experience of damage control on their industry - whatever it is unites them quickly.

"Go," Bellamy says, with a look towards the tv that has started playing the second episode. "I'm right behind you."

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Clarke nod. He feels her grip his elbow briefly as she runs past, and then he focuses on shutting off the video player and unplugging the laptop from the tv. He slams the lid shut and crams the laptop into a nearby backpack - Miller's, judging by the t-shirts and the deodorant that falls out, but hopefully he'll understand Bellamy's urgency. Bellamy's not leaving this laptop and its files out of his sight for the rest of the con - the last thing they need is someone else sneaking a peek of the fake episodes and starting a shitshow on twitter.

By the time he rushes out into the hall with the backpack slung over his shoulder, Clarke is gone. He checks his phone.

_Show room floor_, she says. Luckily there's some other hotel guests just about to step into an elevator.

"Going down?" he hollers from down the hall, and when they nod in bemusement he squeezes in between the closing doors. Someone's already pressed the level for the show room. Bellamy fidgets with the straps of the backpack and tries to breathe calmly as the elevator takes its sweet time descending.

"I'm a big fan of Augustus," a quiet voice at this shoulder says. Bellamy looks over to find a fan wearing a t-shirt with what looks like a hand-painted Arkadian badge on it and even his nervousness can't stop the smile he makes at it. The fan is making a valiant effort to meet his eyes. "I, um. Can you sign my shirt?"

"Sure," Bellamy says, with a quick glance at the elevator counter that tells him there's still plenty of floors to go. "But I - I don't think I have a sharpie. This isn't my backpack so I probably shouldn't be digging through it."

Someone else procures a marker from their bag and there's some nervous giggles as he finds a spot on the fan's shirt to sign.

"...Whose backpack is it?" she asks as he puts a flourish on the second B.

"Miller's, probably," Bellamy says. "The guy who plays - "

"Captain Jarrett," the fan says without hesitation.

"Yeah, that guy," Bellamy confirms. "It's a long story. I gotta stop Jaha from... I don't know what he's planning actually."

"Aren't you supposed to be at a panel right now?" one of the other fans asks.

"Absolutely," Bellamy says. "I have no idea what's going on right now."

The doors ding and the rush of sound tells Bellamy they've reached the show room floor before the throng of people does. He spots a flash of gold vanishing into the crowd and knows without the shadow of a doubt that it's Clarke. He would know her anywhere.

"Gotta go," Bellamy says in a rush. "So sorry - "

And then he's sprinting after Clarke, trying to keep that flash of gold in his field of vision, half-tripping on all sorts of cosplay props as he goes. Heads turn as he pushes through the crowd and whispers follow like a stubborn wind. _Is that Bellamy Blake? The guy on Arkadia? I swear his costar just ran past - what's going on?_

Bellamy swears when he realizes Jaha's headed for the panel they were supposed to be on, and are now surely late for.

The crowd of people breaks unexpectedly and Bellamy nearly stumbles into the bouncer monitoring the entrance to the stage. He holds up his lanyard, too out of breath to give any verbal explanation. The bouncer all but hauls him past the divider. He finds Clarke just beyond it, watching with wide eyes as Jaha thunders onto the stage. Of the seven seats reserved for their panel only four are occupied - Raven, Miller, Murphy and Zeke. Raven catches sight of them and the face she makes very easily translates into something along the lines of _where the hell have you guys been?_ Bellamy feels a flash of sympathy when he realizes they've had to start the panel on their own with no idea where he and Clarke and Jaha were. He'll have to buy them dinner later to make up for it, or drinks, or an entire cake.

Before they can do anything else though, Jaha grabs a microphone from the nearest moderator and calls for attention - though he hardly needs to ask for it. Everyone is staring at them for barging in on the panel so late and so dramatically. Clarke winces and bites her fingernail as he paces on the stage, kicking the cord out of his way. Bellamy feels dread settle low in his stomach at all the bewildered gazes he sees in the crowd. 

"Now that I have your attention," Jaha says breathlessly. "The panel is canceled."

A ripple of shock passes over the attendees and on the stage itself. Bellamy himself draws in a sharp breath and reaches instinctively for Clarke's hand. This is their fault, somehow. She grabs it and digs her fingernails in, hard enough to make him wince. He doesn't have time to tell her to let up before Jaha continues, carried forward by some powerful new enthusiasm.

"I have... I have had a revelation," Jaha says. "I'm scrapping the seventh season of Arkadia. Everything we hinted at this weekend, everything you think will happen - out the window. We're going home - sit down, John, I know what I'm doing - "

"I'm really not sure you do," Murphy says as Jaha bats away his attempt to discreetly take away the microphone. His face is close enough that the microphone picks up on his voice and carries it over the panel. A nearby attendee is just mouthing the words _oh my god_ over and over again, like a silent film on repeat mirroring Bellamy's own internal monologue. He hides his face behind the hand Clarke isn't clutching at. 

"We fucked up," Bellamy murmurs, just loud enough for Clarke to hear. 

"_Sit down_, John, I'm giving you a vacation," Jaha says. "I know you like vacations. Go home. The other writers and I are going to reconvene, and we will write you a brand new season seven. Everyone, go enjoy other panels. Enjoy your weekends, _goodbye_."

With that, Jaha thrusts the microphone back at a hapless moderator and strides off the stage before anyone else can catch him. In the storm of confusion brewing in his wake, Raven sits perfectly still, her gaze fixed upon Clarke and Bellamy. _What the fuck did you do?_ she mouths at them. 

  
  
  
  
  


lygustus or bust  
@arkabitch

replying to  @jasperjjordan

can u imagine being part of Arkadia's writers room and u think ur all done and u settle in with a mojito to enjoy ur vacation and Jaha's like

❤ 9,755 1:47 PM • November 18, 2019

8.4K people are talking about this

thefangirlingbartender ...is the Arkadia fandom okay?!?!? I just see a lot of screaming on my dash haha  #arkadia#scicon19 #idk whats going on but im getting out the popcorn 4,204 notes 

lygana_queen blueaugustine **lyzadeservesanap** asked:omg what's the crazy S7 theory you were hinting at in your tags???????  **arkadia-positivity** answered:okay I know this sounds unbelievable but I think Clarke and Bellamy are A Thing. I'm not projecting. <strike>I might be projecting a little adefsh</strike> BUT they're like, always sitting next to each other in everyone's insta stories and laughing at each other's jokes at panels (and we already know they'd fucking look good together thanks to that blessed alternate reality episode in S1 but ANYWAY did you notice how Lyza and Augustus are suddenly separated in all the S7 marketing??? I think something went down in the writers room over whether or not to make Lygustus endgame and Jaha decided not to do it, for some reason? And I think he like, walked in on Clarke and Bellamy at the con, or SOMETHING, and it changed his mind. But I mean what do I know, I'm a Lygustus shipper. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  blueaugustine Lygustus fans are so exhausting. Not everything has to be about your ship ffs  lygana_queen .......I was there. I was literally in the front row of That Panel and Clarke and Bellamy were holding hands, so this theory actually isn't that far out of left field. And before you start, I ship lygana, so this isn't shipper bias.  #arkadia #fandom wank #arkadia s7 spoilers #can we have ONE DAY in this goddamn fandom without drama??? 5,204 notes 

new day new bullshit  
@morganaz

guys I took a photo of John's face right when Jaha said season 7 was cancelled and it was so beautiful my roommate printed it off and taped it up in our living room. here's the dropbox link if anyone's interested https://bit.ly/36rZiCw

❤ 11,392 4:13 PM • November 18, 2019

9.5K people are talking about this

High King Elijah  
@highkingelijah

replying to  @morganaz

@morganaz *dying seal noises*

❤ 11,538 4:29 PM • November 18, 2019

10K people are talking about this

lygustus or bust  
@arkabitch

BELLARKE SAID LYGUSTUS RIGHTS

❤ 14,003 5:07 PM • November 18, 2019

9.2K people are talking about this

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ongoing thank you to [@grumpybell](https://grumpybell.tumblr.com) for letting me use her [icons](https://grumpybell.tumblr.com/icons) in this fic! FYI, if you want your icons or an arkadia-ified username featured in future chapters, let me know. I'm bad at coming up with usernames.
> 
> I also have to thank Jess/thefangirlingbarista for her help! The plan was always for Jaha to see the fake episodes somehow and be moved to change his story, but I didn't want to have any of the cast leak them to the internet, y'know? Jess encouraged a more wholesome route to get there. She's just the best. 
> 
> Reference for tweets [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22517134/chapters/53929063#workskin)  
Reference for tumblr posts [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099596/chapters/50203892)  
You can find me on tumblr as [kindclaws](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com) and find out what I'm currently working on in my [writing updates tag.](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com/tagged/sara's-writing-upd8s)
> 
> HAPPY NEW YEAR, MAY WE ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL 2020 AND MAY THIS FIC NOT PREDICT THE 100 SEASON 7 AT ALL.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **CONTENT WARNINGS:** ongoing grief/mourning, alcohol consumption both in and out of a positive social setting, drug paraphernalia and minor allusions to weed. There's also references to sex of the sort that you'd find scrolling down your average ao3 feed.
> 
> I think the overall mood of this chapter is pretty happy, honestly? Thanks to everyone for being patient with both my writer's block and my inability to reply to comments in a timely manner!

#

A lifetime ago, Bellamy and Octavia used to climb out on the roof of their porch to watch the sunset in the evenings when Aurora was working. It didn't last long. A neighbour busted them eventually, and not long afterwards they'd been forced to move to another in a long line of cheap temporary sublets, but for some reason those evenings out on the roof stuck in Bellamy's mind as some of his most peaceful memories of his sister.

It's been a while since she called, even longer since they've had a conversation of any depth, but Bellamy can imagine her sitting next to him with barely any effort. His imagination gives her a leather jacket and scars on her knuckles and combat boots that would scrape against the shingles, if she were real. For some reason she's got choppy bangs, even though he knows for a fact she hasn't tolerated that haircut since she was sixteen. She waves her fingers mockingly at him as he stares at her, trying to fix her hair. The light spilling out onto the roof from the window he crawled out of isn't touching her.

The sound of snow crunching under tires as a car turns into the driveway pulls his attention away. He takes a sip of the cider he's holding and says nothing as figures start to get out. Harper hops out in what looks like her socks and runs, shrieking, to the door to unlock it. Miller stomps around to the trunk to grab luggage. And Clarke gets out of the driver's seat and looks up at Bellamy straight away, as though she's got some kind of compass telling him where he's hiding. He doesn't move. The sun set a while ago, maybe she doesn't see him.

Clarke raises a hand and waves. He lets out a heavy breath that fogs in front of him before returning a half-hearted wave. Bellamy shivers as she goes into the house without another sign.

A few minutes later, as he's asking himself how much longer he's willing to sit out in the cold with the stars taking their damn time to come out, he hears movement on the windowsill behind him. He turns to find Clarke climbing through, stepping a little unsteadily on the roof's slope, her fingers clutching at the edges of the window.

"Keep your center of balance low," Bellamy says, reaching for her even though he doesn't really want to see her right now. "And step slowly. Careful. Yeah, like that. There's no hurry."

Clarke shivers a little as she sits next to him. For a long time they're both quiet.

"How was the rest of the con?" Bellamy asks.

"All right," Clarke says. "Been a while since I didn't have a schedule made for me. I wandered around a bit. Brought some art for other fandoms. Signed a lot of autographs. People kept asking us if we really had no idea Jaha was going to do that."

"Nah," Bellamy says to himself. "We all thought season 7 was doomed."

"Have you heard from him?" Clarke asks.

"No. Just from Maya. He wasn't joking. They really went back to the drawing board."

"Maybe this will be a good thing," Clarke says softly. The stars are out now, the streetlamps down the street faint enough that he can start to make out constellations. Bellamy tilts his head back and lets the combination of vertigo and alcohol make the world spin around him. "Bellamy," Clarke says carefully. Her teeth are starting to chatter but she's trying to keep it from him. "We didn't finish our conversation."

He was hoping they wouldn't.

"I don't know what you want me to say," Bellamy says shortly. "I mean, we've all known for years you're going to keep going, Clarke. You're _incredible_. You're intense, you work hard, you're good press. Of course you'd move on after Arkadia."

"So would you," Clarke says, her eyebrows furrowed. "I don't understand. This isn't jealousy."

"No," Bellamy says, rubbing hard at his face. "We're not exactly competing for the same roles, princess."

She laughs at that, a little nervous, and it dissipates some of the tension.

"What's going on in your head, Bellamy?"

He wishes it was darker, so they could see more stars. He wishes it was warmer, so they could lay back and he could point them all out. He wishes she loved him.

"I'm going to miss you, that's all," he says.

"I turned down the job," Clarke says earnestly. "Murphy renegotiated his, too, since Jaha's ruined our schedules. I'll be here for another few months." Bellamy forces a smile. "Bell," Clarke pleads. "If there's something you want to say, you should say it now."

_I love you._

Her teeth are chattering. Bellamy finishes the last of his cider and holds his hand out.

"Come on," he says. "You're getting cold. Let's go inside."

From: [bellbblake@gmail.com]

To: [clarkeggriffin@gmail.com]

Subject: [no subject]

Attached:  attoliascript_draft.doc (153 KB) 

  


👑  
  
  
did you just email me???  
Yes. Read it. it's 2019 who still uses email Clarke... I'm reading. ...I didn't know you could write screenplays. I shelled out $30 for fancy software that did the formatting for me software won't make you words good hmmm bellamy, this is really good. Really really good. it's based on a book series. I can't take all the credit. oh my god can you take a compliment for once in your life so have you sent it to any agents? No. I don't want them to say yes just because my name is attached pseudonyms I don't want them to say no either can I send it out? sure I need enthusiastic consent Bell yes. This is what I want to do next. After Arkadia is over. you're so brave for being willing to expose yourself as the massive history nerd you are. You're just salivating over the concept of period-accurate togas, aren't you? no comment hey Clarke? yeah? I'm glad you like it.

The next few weeks, strangely, have the feeling of exam season. It's been years since Bellamy was in school but there seems no better way to describe the restlessness - the _anticipation_ that hangs over them all. The strange atmosphere is exacerbated by his friends leaving one by one to visit family or wrap up quick projects before Christmas, until their regular haunts become empty and peaceful. Jasper, Monty, Harper, and many of the crew leave first, having no work to do until the script is done. Lincoln and his partners linger to repair some of the spaceship sets that Jaha had them blow up in the first run of the season, the ones that the writers’ room is sure they’ll need. And eventually only the main cast are left. Jaha pulls them all together for a mid-December photoshoot and Bellamy sits on a stool for three hours, smiling at a camera and pretending he’s not painfully and vividly aware of the warmth of Clarke’s thigh against his knee.

That night they crash at Raven and Clarke’s place with cheap beer and pizza boxes strewn about the couches, some Star Trek reboot Bellamy doesn’t recognize playing near-silently on the tv as his friends fall asleep one by one through a game of Monopoly that’s gone surprisingly well, considering he and Clarke and Raven are all playing, and they’ve been known to get a little aggressive. Just a little.

Bellamy shuffles lower on the couch, trying to find an angle for his neck that won’t ache in the morning, and accidentally nudges Clarke in the ribs with his foot. She blinks at him from the other end of the couch.

“Hey,” she murmurs.

“Sorry I woke you,” Bellamy says, and sits up just long enough to adjust the blanket around her shoulders. She gazes at him through half-lidded eyes, looking warm and content and only partially present. Bellamy looks away.

“”S fine,” Clarke says. “Gonna miss you. Over the holidays.”

“It’s just a few weeks, Clarke,” Bellamy says, but he smiles anyway, unable to stop the warmth that spreads through his chest and threatens to creep up his cheeks. He paws at the hair on the back of his head for lack of something better to do.

“When are you heading out?” Clarke asks. The warmth fades. He was hoping she wouldn’t ask.

“Go to sleep Clarke,” Bellamy says quietly, lowering his voice even further when Miller stirs on the other couch. He makes to pat her shoulder and she grabs his wrist, her grip stronger than he’d expect from the sleepy waver in her voice.

“Bell. When?”

“I’m staying here,” he admits reluctantly. “Nowhere to fly home to this year.”

Silence. Clarke’s eyelids droop so low he thinks she’s fallen asleep with a disappointed pout, the familiar frown drawing lines in her forehead.

“Octavia?” Clarke murmurs.

Bellamy swallows hard.

“Not this year,” he says. Clarke lets go of his wrist only long enough to tuck her hand in his and squeeze gently.

“You could come home with me,” she says, and then she’s asleep, and then Bellamy is too.

In the morning he thinks the playful chaos of breakfast (and the pancake batter that ends up on the ceiling as a result) will prove enough of a distraction that they don’t bring that up again, but Clarke corners him in the bathroom as he’s washing maple syrup off his hands and shows him the receipt for an additional plane ticket.

“Seriously?” he asks.

“It’s faster to beg forgiveness than ask permission,” Clarke says, tilting her head. “You _know_ we would have gone back and forth for ages, you trying to convince me you’ll be fine.”

“I would be,” Bellamy says, but he’s not really that upset.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll be happier with you there,” Clarke says. She forces a smile. “You know how my mother can get.”

“Fine,” Bellamy says with a shake of his head. “If you have to suffer, I have to suffer with you sort of deal?”

“Just about,” Clarke says with a dry smile, before she’s spinning on her heel, her hair whipping about her chin as she rejoins the fray in the kitchen. Bellamy takes a deep breath before he follows her back to the others. There’s a feeling in his chest, a tight one, that he needs a moment to contemplate. It’s not pain, nor is it the absence of it.

He’s… he’s glad, he supposes. That he won’t be alone for Christmas.

the sound of the saw must be known by the tree by highkingelijah  
Arkadia (TV)

24 Dec 2019

**No Archive Warnings Apply**, Lyza Nightbourne/Augustus Sun, Missing Scene, set between 2x10 and 2x11, Pre-Relationship, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mutual Pining, sort of, because they’re both idiots and they haven’t figured out they’re pining yet, made-up holiday traditions, Loneliness, in this house we do NOT love or respect the Arkadian High Council

Augustus may have been spared the death penalty, but the Empire doesn’t forgive so quickly. Lyza sees the way people’s eyes slide right past him in hallways, the way they stiffen and change the subject when she comes close. One by one, everyone in the consulate goes home to spend the New Life holidays with their families. It shouldn’t be such a shock when they’re the last ones left in an empty building devoid of cheer, two people from different sides of the war with nowhere to call home.  


They haven’t spoken since Lyza stood in front of the Council and demanded his pardon. But it’s New Life, and New Life is about forgiveness. So she takes a deep breath and knocks on his door.  


Lygustus secret santa for @lyzadeservesanap, who requested canonverse holiday celebrations!  


Language: English Words: 8,239 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 448 Kudos: 6127 Hits: 70239

how much to give/how much to take by arkabitch  
Arkadia (TV)

24 Dec 2019

**No Archive Warnings Apply**, Lyza Nightbourne/Augustus Sun, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Roommates, Friends With Benefits, Smut, Explicit Smut, seriously so much sex, Crack Treated Seriously, Idiots to Lovers

HAPPY SECRET SANTA LYWINDUS, LOVE YA BABE  


The _worst_ person Augustus could have drawn out of the hat for secret santa this year is Lyza, so _of course_ that’s who the universe gives him. They may not fight as much as they used to, but he’s still not sure they’re actually _friends._ He has no idea what she likes. He’s only ever seen her smile once. With less than one week until the exchange and still no idea what gift to get her, he’s getting a little desperate.  


Until he overhears her complaining to Morgana that all she wants, more than anything, is to sleep with someone who can actually make her orgasm.  


Well… he doesn’t have any better ideas…  


Language: English Words: 17,005 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 346 Kudos: 5238 Hits: 82591

Awful Heart by lywindus  
Arkadia (TV)

24 Dec 2019

**No Archive Warnings Apply**, Lyza Nightbourne/Augustus Sun, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, no empire no war, Meeting the Family, Angst and Fluff, New Life Holiday, spoilers for 3x02, I still live in denial about what happened to Augustus' planet, Found Family, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/No One Dies

In a kinder universe where war never came to the outer colonies, Augustus brings all his friends home to meet his family for the first time.  


Secret Santa gift for @arkadia-positvity! Hope this has enough family feels for you :D  


Language: English Words: 2,956 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 374 Kudos: 6320 Hits: 66435

They're only actually going home for Christmas for a few days, since in Clarke's own words she and her mother can only get along in small doses, so by the time they're due to fly out, everyone else has deserted the town. Bellamy sleeps over at her place the night before. It's common knowledge that Clarke is The Worst to travel with, a combination of being impossible to wake and neurotic enough to unpack her suitcase three times before she's satisfied with it.

The morning of their flight out, Bellamy wakes to find the world outside muffled by heavy snowfall. He takes a moment to peer out the curtains, admiring the pale glow of dawn reflecting off it as his sleepiness falls away. His alarm rings a few minutes later. He gave himself time to snooze but with the snow outside he's worried they can't afford to linger.

He goes upstairs instead, doesn't bother to knock on Clarke's door. She's hugging a pillow so tightly in her sleep that he wonders at first if he'll be able to separate her from it. He touches her shoulder gently as he sits on the edge of the bed and watches her blink awake with some confusion.

"Bell?"

His lips smile without his permission.

"Come on," he says. "The weatherman underestimated the amount of snow we'd get last night, so I'm gonna call a cab earlier than we agreed."

She makes a vaguely agreeable sound when he instructs her to get dressed and come downstairs, so he wanders off, orders a cab, and starts putting together breakfast. Ten minutes to, Clarke still hasn't come down, so he goes back upstairs, drops her on the floor, and sends the video of her resulting swears to the group chat. Miraculously, they're locking the front door when the cab pulls up, tires crunching on thick, wet snow. By the time they get to the airport it's started coming down again in thick white clumps, and Bellamy starts to feel a stirring of doubt.

It's further intensified when they get inside and find out their flight is delayed at least three hours to start with.

"You didn't have to wake me up that early after all," Clarke grumbles as they find an out of the way row of seats to camp out in. It seems like a moot point to Bellamy when she's snoring on his shoulder ten minutes later anyway. He spends a while incapable of intelligent thought because of the smell of her shampoo, before digging out his laptop and doing some more work on the screenplay he's been writing.

Three hours later, their plane is delayed another five hours, and when Bellamy looks at the whiteout beyond the nearest window, he begins to wonder if they're going to make it to Phoenix at all.

"The problem with only going home for a few days," Clarke muses, following his gaze, "Is that missing one is like missing a quarter of the trip."

"How's your mom taking the news?"

Clarke shrugs.

"They've been getting rolling power outages all day, so at least she didn't start cooking the turkey. She says if it doesn't get better soon that we should call it quits and go home."

"Murphy would get a kick out of that," Bellamy murmurs, but they stay optimistic for now. Clarke gets out her sketchbook and flips to pages and pages of sleepy Mediterranean towns and togas. Bellamy momentarily abandons the screenplay to lean his chin against her shoulder and listen as she walks him through the costuming ideas she has. Something warm and terrifying bubbles up inside of him, happy and proud and greedy, that she's put so much time into this, that she's as excited about potentially adapting Attolia as he is. The worry he felt that he and Clarke would drift apart after Arkadia wrapped up fades with every new email she sends, badgering potential producers and casting agents into joining his vision.

By the time dinner rolls around, Abby Griffin has given up on seeing them that day, the planes are on hold indefinitely, and their stomachs are growling enough that it's time to supplement their combined Mom Friend Snacks with pricy airport food. Bellamy leaves Clarke halfway through a videochat with her mom in case they want any privacy, and wanders off to buy the most financially reasonable meals he can find. Two young women in the cashier's line do a double take as he joins the queue behind them, and after a moment tentatively ask for autographs. He signs his name along with a scribble of Arkadia's emblem that Clarke could definitely draw better, and stays mysterious when they ask for hints on how the new season will go.

He takes the long way back to Clarke, wondering if their relative privacy is at an end now that word of their stranding will get out on twitter, and finds her staring so intently at her phone that he stops in his tracks, sure for an instant that it's bad news, that it's the moment they found out Wells had died all over again.

She looks up, and smiles, and the cold fear melts away. Bellamy sits.

"What's happened?"

"Indra replied," Clarke says softly, turning the screen so he can see the email she's been reading. "It's a go, Bellamy. One season of Attolia, coming right up."

He exhales heavily and wonders, distantly, what's up with the shaking in his fingers as he takes the phone and rereads the email three times before the meaning of the words starts to sink in.

"Holy shit," he says.

"Told you I'd make it happen," Clarke says, only a little smug. "Congrats, Bellamy, you're a writer." She waits a beat and adds, in a less steady voice, "You can't get rid of me that easily."

Bellamy takes her hand and leans his head against hers.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he says quietly, as the nearest tv gives up on displaying an expected time of departure for their flight and just shows the infinity symbol. "Merry Christmas, Clarke."

"Merry Christmas."

They never do fly out. They go back to Clarke's house the next morning and then take the bus to the graveyard, a bottle of peach schnapps in a paper bag hidden between them. It was always Wells’ favourite. The aftertaste lingers in Bellamy’s mouth as they brush fresh snow off the tombstone. When he’s not here, Bellamy thinks of stuff to say constantly. Once they’re standing at the foot of the grave, everything elaborate flies out of his mouth. All that’s left is a soft of vague regret that things are okay and the future will be good, and Wells won’t be there to be a part of it. Still. He’s glad Clarke is there, tossing back peach schnapps, her eyes watering as much as his. They spend the rest of the holiday until their friends start to trickle back into town playing video games, throwing snowballs, and eating an alarming amount of pancakes at Gina's all-day breakfast diner. It’s peaceful.

Sometimes that’s what you need.

ARKADIA ALL STARS  
  
Jasper  
ladies, gentlemen, and unaffiliated folk......... some of you may have been wondering about our traditional pre-season party Murphy  
hadn't crossed my mind, no Jasper  
shut up some of you with brain cells might have been wondering what we're going to do this year, since we technically already had our rewatch... Murphy  
you still have brain cells after all that weed? Jasper  
oh my god shut up I'm trying to invite you all to a party that's enough, Murphy Murphy  
you have my attention now Harper  
shiiiiiit, i'm in Jasper  
I havn't said anything about it yet?????? Clarke  
that's okay we're always down to party Jasper  
fine. Mine and Monty's place, Saturday, 7pm. Dress code is FANCY. dm me your pizza toppings. Raven  
heart eyes So are we doing another rewatch? Jasper  
bellamy, babe, Monty and I have a plan. you can just show up and look pretty. Clarke  
how fancy are we talking? Monty  
red carpet. like, we're literally renting a red carpet.

To Bellamy's distress, his friends take Jasper's instructions to dress fancy more seriously than he'd like. Bellamy was half-hoping to show up in pajamas, get some good natured jeers and heckling, and spend the rest of the evening being very cozy, but in the days leading up to the party it seems like everyone catches onto the craze.

“Et tu?” Bellamy asks morosely, leaning in the doorway with a bowl of cereal that’s slowly getting damper and damper as Miller fiddles with his bowtie in the mirror.

“What can I say?” Miller says, shaking out his cufflinks and turning to show off. “I look good in a suit. This better pass Jasper’s stupid dress code.”

“For something you’re calling stupid, you’re taking it pretty seriously,” Bellamy says, and ducks out of the room before Miller can throw something into his cereal.

And so it comes to pass that the Sunday evening before they start production for season 7 - the second time around - Bellamy finds himself pulling up in front of Clarke and Raven’s house in a three piece dark blue suit that hasn’t seen the light of day since the last season premiere. He ducks his head into the backseat to pull out a bag of corsages and jogs up the steps. He rings the doorbell and shakes snowflakes out of his hair as he waits. Inside, footsteps pound down the stairs. Someone shrieks, and then the door is open and a rush of warmth and light and perfume is spilling out onto the porch. Emori gives him a look from head to toe and smiles like a shark, apparently pleased with what she finds.

“We had a bet going on,” she tells Bellamy as she steps aside to let him inside. “About whether or not you would gel your hair.”

“Did he or did he not?” Raven’s voice comes from upstairs.

“He didn’t!” Emori yells back, and Bellamy hears more than one disappointed groan from above.

“What did you bet?”

“That you’d picked up some fashion sense since season 1,” Emori quips. “Congrats. You look good.”

“Thanks. You too,” Bellamy says, and Emori does a happy twirl for him, blue fabric floating in her wake as the others begin to descend down the stairs.

Harper is next, wearing green and a set of elaborate braids, followed by Murphy, whose eyeliner and mussed hair makes him look like the frontrunner of an early 2000s punk band that Emori ravished in a closet, and lastly Clarke and Raven accompanied by the thump of her cane.

“I think your thigh is trying to escape,” Bellamy tells Raven with a grin as she reaches him, and she rolls her eyes and pops her hip out so the extremely high slit in her dress only shows more. And then there’s Clarke, who has eyes only for him.

“I’m always shocked when you clean up like this,” Clarke teases, reaching up to fix his tie even though it’s _fine_, Bellamy already checked twice. Clarke’s eyelids sparkle with gold as she blinks and smooths a hand down Bellamy’s chest. “No gel, thank goodness.”

“I’m going to do it for the wrap party now, just to spite you,” Bellamy tells her, and is rewarded with a smirk. It’s harder to look at her than everyone else. With the others, he doesn’t have to worry about what his face is doing, if he looks as wrecked or as hungry as he feels inside. He only allows himself to look lower than Clarke’s collarbone when she turns for a moment to fuss over some hair escaping Harper’s braids, and even then he feels guilty for appreciating the pendant that hangs low between her breasts or the curve of her hip. She’s his best friend, and Bellamy is thinking decidedly unplatonic thoughts.

He’s distracted as Emori digs through the bag of corsages - when did she get ahold of it? Bellamy doesn’t remember letting go - and holds one up to the light.

“What’s this?” Raven asks.

“I thought we’d go all out with the prom theme,” Bellamy says, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Since this is already ridiculous. Sorry, there’s only four in there. I didn’t know Murphy would be here.”

“Aw, Bellamy, now I feel bad for making fun of you,” Raven says, picking out a deep red rose. “These are beautiful! You asshole.”

“You can have mine,” Emori says, turning to Murphy. “My prosthetic is already pretty decked out.”

“Help me out?” Clarke asks, holding out her wrist to Bellamy.

“Of course,” he murmurs, turning his back on the others and unclipping the corsage she’s picked. All he had to go on were the colours Harper told him they’d wear, and since the florist didn’t have any gold flowers, he’s glad his guess of a white lily seems to suit her tonight. If Clarke notices his fingers trembling ever so slightly as he fastens it around her wrist, she says nothing. Bellamy, a fool, slips his palm against hers for a moment after he’s done and smiles. “You really do look like a princess.”

The corners of her lips twitch up.

“That sounds like more of a compliment now than it did when we met,” Clarke says, and the reminder of the symmetry of their lives and the end drawing near makes Bellamy falter. This is their last rewatch party, and they’ve come so far.

_Not far enough_, a traitorous, greedy corner of his heart whispers.

“Come on,” Bellamy says, dropping her hand and turning away. “Everyone in the car, hurry up, we’ll be late!”

“Mom friend,” Harper mutters under her breath as he herds them all outdoors. Luckily the whole stereotypical prom staircase descent thing only took a few minutes, and the van is still warm as they squeeze in.

Miller and Zeke have only just arrived as they pull up in front of Jasper and Monty’s place. Miller immediately drops into a dramatic crouch as glammed-up idiots start pouring out of Bellamy’s car and Raven mirrors him without hesitation like they’re about to start a fistfight in the driveway.

“Inside, babe, it’s cold and that thigh slit isn’t going to keep you warm,” Clarke says, poking Raven towards the open door. Inside there is more banter and more hugs. Bellamy receives a compliment, a roast, and a solo cup full of _something_ from Jasper all within about 30 seconds.

Bellamy braves the chaos for about five minutes before he spots Maya watching it unfold from a safe corner and joins her on the edge of the ruckus. They knock solo cups together like they’re back in college and watch Jasper take his duties as host significantly more seriously than anyone would have expected. Inside the living room, there is a literal red carpet, bright and garish and huge. Monty wasn’t joking about that, apparently. His eyes stray to the tv that remains dark, no episodes of Arkadia queued up. He knows this isn’t going to be one of their typical rewatch parties, evident from the dress code, but he has no idea what Jasper has planned.

Halfway through Bellamy’s third slice of greasy cornershop pizza, Jasper stands up and announces that they’re ready to begin the main event. _There’s more?_ Bellamy thinks, idly looking around the room at the flushed faces and sprawled limbs. He's already been grinning so hard at the good company that his cheeks hurt. But of course - Jasper has a whole spectacle planned, and he takes to the center of the room with a flourish. Monty thumps down the stairs with a cardboard box in his arms that he sets down on the coffee table, and a curious silence settles over the party.

“My friends,” Jasper says, clasping his hands together. He’s putting on a voice that doesn’t quite suit him - something serious and grandiose. “Thank you all for joining Monty and I here in our humble abode tonight. We’ve had many amazing memories here - not this house, specifically, but in all the places we’ve been together, while we made Arkadia. Some of you have been here since the start. Some of you joined along the way. But you are all, now, my family. And as we enter the beginning of the end tomorrow… I wanted to take some time to celebrate the amazing and diverse ways you are all, _so fucking dumb._”

Laughter, confused and delighted, rings out.

“So Monty and I bribed the props department to let us use their 3D printer,” Jasper says as Monty opens up the cardboard box, “And we made tiny shitty plastic trophies for all of you. They’re not Oscars or Emmys, but I hope you will take them home and put them in a place of honour anyway.” He takes a deep breath. “Zeke, our latecomer, you’re up first. I award you, best shirtless scene. I’m straight, and your abs still kinda made me swoon.”

Zeke ducks out from underneath Raven’s arm and steps up with a bemused grin. Clarke starts clapping and everyone takes the cue as Zeke bows dramatically and accepts the palm-sized, neon pink bust of a muscular male torso.

“I don’t know what to say,” Zeke says, miming wiping away tears. “This is the pinnacle of my career. Thank you to my mom, and Jesus, but mostly my mom - “

He breaks off to howls of laughter from the room and sits back down as Monty digs around in the box for the second award.

“Maya, my beautiful talented girlfriend who I can’t believe gave me the time of day,” Jasper says.

“Don’t give me a neon pink headless torso, I won’t know what to do with it,” Maya warns as she stands up and takes his hand.

“I would never,” Jasper promises earnestly, and grins as Monty drops a 3D printed eyeball on a stand in his hand. “Maya, sweetheart, you’re the best visionary. Get it? Vision?”

Maya groans, but she’s smiling as she accepts her tiny trophy and kisses Jasper’s cheek.

“All right,” Jasper says, rubbing his hands together as she sits. “Next up, Emori. Emori, you placed in a variety of categories including Best Instagram Game, and Most Likely To Get Away With Murder, but I like to disappoint you, so you win Best Moustache Drawing On Someone Who Was Sleeping On Set.”

“It’s beautiful,” Emori says with a laugh as Monty gives her the trophy. It is, predictably, a moustache on a stick.

“Bellamy,” Jasper says, surprising him. “Monty said it was too obvious to give you Best Mother Hen, so we’re using the _other_ definition of brooding. You win for Best YA Love Interest Of All Time.”

From behind his back, he whips out…… a 3D printed chicken.

“I don’t know what I expected,” Bellamy says, accepting his gift. He gives Jasper a quick hug and holds the chicken up to raucous applause.

“They didn’t even know about the corsages!” Raven teases as he sits back down. He reaches over Miller to shove her shoulder good-naturedly, and she nearly misses Jasper calling her up next.

“Raven,” Jasper says dramatically. “You’re just the best.”

Her trophy is a lopsided star. Held up to the light at the right angle, you can see the words ‘u tried and holy shit u the best’ protruding on the front.

“This is the only thing I would have accepted,” Raven says, and kisses the star with a loud smack that leaves a smear of bright red lipstick over the words. Clarke is laughing so hard as she reaches out to give her a high five that she nearly misses.

“Harper, you probably know what this is going to be about. Come up,” Jasper says. “Harper, you have the best biceps of this entire friend group, and Bellamy’s in it, so that’s saying something.”

She immediately flexes for them and everyone starts cheering.

“Next, Murphy!” Jasper calls. “This award is incredibly difficult for me to give you, because it means admitting defeat, but Murphy… you win Best Weed Brownies.”

“If you’d told me ahead of time,” Murphy says with a raised eyebrow as he accepts the little marijuana placard, “Maybe I would have made you a batch.”

“There's always the wrap party,” Jasper says, slapping his back. “Clarke Griffin, please stand up!”

“I’m here, I’m here,” Clarke grouses, struggling to her feet and swaying until Jasper steadies her with an arm.

“Clarke, you’re a disaster,” he says fondly. “I’m very pleased to award you Best Instigator of Trouble. You have Strong Protagonist Energy on and off screen, and it’s made for some _very_ memorable con parties.”

“You’re very welcome,” Clarke says, keeping a straight face up until she sees that her award is a cast of a fist raising the middle finger. After that, it takes several minutes for everyone to shut up and stop laughing long enough for Jasper and Monty to continue. Monty is looking uncharacteristically nervous, and through the pleasant buzz that hangs over Bellamy, he notices that he and Jasper are trading significant glances.

“We’re not done!” Jasper calls out, and holds out one finger to Monty. “Monty, hold on, I made you an award too.”

“You didn’t tell me!”

“I know, but you deserve one,” Jasper says. “Monty, I’ve known you longer than I’ve known the alphabet, and I have so much that I could say right now, so many things I love about you, but I really think that all of us, right now, need to take a moment to appreciate the fucking _amazing_ video editing work you did on our fake season 7.”

“He’s right!” Bellamy calls out quickly, and Monty blushes under a wave of overlapping compliments from everyone around the room.

“A miracle happened, and we get a second chance to film the ending we always wanted for Arkadia, but that couldn’t have happened without the work you put in for us,” Jasper continues, holding out a tiny camera reel. “So, best friend, I award you Best Video Editor Foreva. It’s spelled _four - eva._”

“I love it. Love you too, buddy,” Monty chokes out. He takes a deep breath and sets it down on the coffee table. His other hand is deep in his pocket, fiddling with something. “Miller, you’ve probably figured out you’re the last one. Your trophy is, uh, honestly, it’s the stuff of nightmares, but it’s for you,” he says, and out of the cardboard box he pulls out a pair of smiling lips on a stand. “I’m awarding you Best Smile.”

“This is someone’s nightmare fuel,” Miller agrees. “I’ll treasure it forever.” He accepts it with a faint smile and wraps one arm around Monty’s waist, hugging him loosely. Monty’s hand jiggles more vigorously in his pocket and behind Miller, Jasper makes insistent, encouraging gestures. Monty shakes his head minutely and steps away.

“Wait,” Clarke says, “Was that the last one?”

“Yep,” Monty says.

“What about Jasper?” Clarke insists.

“We organized,” Monty says, with a significant look at him. “We weren’t supposed to get awards.”

“That isn’t going to fly,” Clarke says, and she looks around the room wildly, her gaze flitting over the couches before landing, at last, on the bong that holds the place of honour on the mantle above the fireplace. She leaps up and seizes it with both hands. “Jasper! This is your trophy!”

“That’s my bong,” Jasper points out, like maybe she hadn’t noticed. “I already own it.”

Clarke peels off her corsage and wraps it around the top.

“It’s an award now, and I’m giving it to you on behalf of everyone, partially for this party, but also for everything you’ve done the past few years. Jasper, you are the Best Friendship Glue. You keep calling us a family, and you’re right, and you’re the _reason_ for it. We’ve all worked on other projects with other people, and what we have together on Arkadia is completely different, and I think you’re at the center of it. We never would have hung out so much and gotten so close to each other if you weren’t there, throwing parties and starting group chats and being your wonderful self the whole time. You _built_ this family, Jasper.”

“Go Jasper!” Bellamy shouts as Clarke thrusts the bong out, and he’s gratified to hear everyone chiming in and clapping.

“Oh, man,” Jasper says faintly, accepting his own bong and swaying underneath the onslaught of applause. “Monty, I kinda feel like I stole your thunder.”

“Nope,” Monty says quickly.

“Dude, if you’re chickening out - “

“I’m not chickening - “

“_Do the fucking thing we talked about,_” Jasper insists, and everyone falls silent and curious. Monty stands ramrod straight for a moment, his hand frozen inside his pocket, not a single muscle moving. When at last he unfreezes, it’s to grab the nearest cup of moonshine - Murphy’s - and down its entire contents.

“Okay,” Monty says roughly. “Shit, okay,” and he turns to Miller. “Nate... the day I met you, it was my first day on set, and I didn't know shit. I had a brand new diploma and 100 bucks in my bank account and I have no idea how I got hired for Arkadia, because I was young and dumb and didn't know anything. I didn't even know what the show was about or who was in it, I just showed up, and they told me to set up a camera rig on the Argo set, and I couldn't get the stupid thing assembled.”

“The bolt was stuck,” Miller says, and Monty’s face bursts into a wide, relieved smile.

“Yeah, the bolt was stuck. You wandered by with a bunch of coffees and I had no idea who you were, I thought you were an intern, and you asked me if I needed help, and I told you to get me, and I quote, _a big ass wrench._ I had no idea you were one of the main actors, I wouldn't have been able to speak to you if you were.”

“But I liked that,” Miller protests.

“I know, but I was new,” Monty says, hushing him. “Shut up and listen to my speech, I worked really hard on it.”

Naturally, Murphy interrupts.

“The Oscars would start playing the hurry up music by now!” he calls out helpfully.

“Oh my god, shut up,” Monty says over his shoulder, and in front of everyone he gets down on one knee and takes Miller's hand. _Oh_, Bellamy thinks with a sudden shock of understanding.

A small square box falls out of the pocket he's been fumbling with all night onto the stupid red carpet, but neither Monty nor Miller pay it any attention, each completely fixed on the other's face.

“Nate,” Monty begins again, his voice tremoring less than it has been all night. “The day I met you, you brought me the biggest wrench you could find, asked me if it was big ass enough, and you smiled. And I didn't love you instantly. I fell in love after the late night League games and every time you'd do stupid stuff between takes to make me laugh and the time we tried to drive to SDCC and got _so_ lost - " and they're both laughing now and Raven is covering her mouth with her hand and Jasper is openly weeping and Monty's face is as red as a fire truck, and still he keeps going. "Nate, what I'm trying to say is that the first time you smiled at me, I knew I could love you, and the past few years together have proved that, and if you're interested, I'd like to spend the rest of our lives making you smile."

“Shit, dude, let's get married,” Miller says, sounding choked up. The room explodes in shouts and squeals, Miller's agreement finally breaking the silence of shock and anticipation. Miller reaches for Bellamy with the hand he hasn't got wrapped around Monty's waist and sways slightly as Murphy hooks his arm around his neck and starts hollering. "You'll be my best man, yeah?" Miller asks earnestly over the chaos, his hand squeezing Bellamy's wrist.

"Of course," Bellamy says. He's been grinning so hard since he caught on to Monty's plan that his cheeks ache as he hugs them both, and then Raven, and then Emori, and finally he's back on the sidelines with Clarke, who is wiping aggressively at the makeup smearing at the corners of her eyes.

"Hold on," Bellamy says, dabbing at the runny eyeliner until she looks a little more composed.

"Our friends are growing up," she says in a watery voice, her smile wide and disbelieving as she tucks into his side. She fits perfectly, and Bellamy's chest squeezes with happiness as he looks around at some of his favourite people. He wants to freeze this moment and stay in it forever.

In the center of the room, as everyone finally gets their congratulations out and takes a step back to give Monty and Miller some breathing space, Jasper holds up the bong Clarke awarded him and speaks up.

"Guys... this is everything Monty and I could have hoped for and more. I've uh, I've had a little too many beers to make a speech as nice as Monty's, but. I love you guys. Yes, even Murphy, fuck you Murphy, I love you. And even after this season ends, even after we all split up and go work on our new projects, we're still going to love each other, and we'll see each other again. Starting at Monty and Miller's wedding, and going on. We're not just coworkers, we haven't been for years. We're friends, and - ugh, family, and if Clarke's right and I made that happen, then I think it'll be the greatest thing I ever make in my life. And this.... this bong that I already owned means more to me than any Emmy or shit ever would, because now every time I get high I'm gonna look at it and think of you all."

And then he promptly bursts into tears and stumbles into Monty's arms, prompting a fresh wave of teary group hugs from everyone present.

It is, without question, the best pre-season party they've ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried when I wrote the last scene of this chapter because it occurred to me how few of us actually have the close-knit friend groups we write about. Almost everyone I know and love lives in different cities/countries/continents and not everyone has met or gets along with everyone else. It's fucking _tough_ when you finish school or move somewhere new and suddenly the rules of platonic intimacy must be rewritten. When I started writing this story, I _did_ intend for it to be like, sort of a goodbye to the 100 fandom, but I didn't realize just how much it would remind me of every time I've looked around at a group of friends gathering for one last hurrah before we all go in separate directions, and desperately wanted to hold on to them just a little longer. 
> 
> If you can relate, I love you through the internet. :P Thanks for reading. And a few more thank yous:
> 
> Thank you to the [bellarke bingo challenge](https://bellarkebingo.tumblr.com/) for kickstarting this fic.  
Reference for the email code [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/A_Guide_to_Coding_and_Fanworks/works/7953412)  
Reference for the groupchat code [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19249828)  
Reference for the fake ao3 summaries [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20531333/chapters/50073608#workskin)
> 
> The titles for the fake ao3 stories were taken from the playlist I was listening to, so, the Wasteland Baby album and Amber Run's I Found. Lastly, the series that Bellamy wants to adapt is Megan Whalen Turner's The Thief. It's a really fucking good book that you'll want to read at least twice for the twist, and I'm not the only one who has headcanoned that Bellamy would love it: Chash has written a series where Bellarke adapt it [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1074228)
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as [kindclaws](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com) and find out what I'm currently working on in my [writing updates tag.](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com/tagged/sara's-writing-upd8s)  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **CONTENT WARNINGS:** gif warning in the first part with the tumblr liveblog! Other than that, nothing new.
> 
> I still don't know how this translates to a screenreader, but until told otherwise I will hope that my haphazard attempts at alt text worked :P ao3 kinda messes with your code after you save it, and it's because they're being responsible from a security perspective, making sure you can't inject anything that isn't approved! But it also means that the end result isn't as clean as I'd hoped and I'm uh, kinda flailing.

#

meanteeth  meanteeth meanteeth okay, I’m finally sitting down to watch the first episode of Arkadia, like five years after I first promised I would. Better late than never right? I’m mostly excited for the hot scary girl in the mecha suit.  meanteeth how much longer do I have to sit through Augustus wearing this much hair gel?? the gifsets promised he’d be fluffy. also, he’s kind of a dick.  lywindus New blood!! Welcome to the fandom! Don’t worry, the hair gel only lasts like 4 episodes, but the jokes are eternal. :D  meanteeth oh thank god. In other news I did a spittake when I realized that was John Murphy under the alien makeup. forget what his character’s name is. I usually avoid shows/movies with famous former child actors because I can’t stop thinking of them as like, real people instead of their characters, and it’s weird that they’re grown up and sexy now but you know what?? John Murphy is really working that leather jacket. good for him. I went into this thinking I’d be a Morgana stan but maybe they can share.  meanteeth am I supposed to watch this and _not_ think that Lyza and Morgana are totally an old married couple who’s sick of watching the other one run headfirst into danger because _that banter_ lygana_queen W E L C O M E  meanteeth also the episode with the pirating guild is proof that Augustus is like, hyper-competent and terrifyingly dangerous, but I LOVE that every single time he crosses paths with John Murphy, he’s handcuffed or half-naked or in an otherwise compromising position. to everyone else Augustus is the scariest motherfucker in this galaxy. to John Murphy he’s just some hapless idiot who keeps getting captured.  arkadia-positivity haha yeah that’s a running gag until like season 4  meanteeth I don’t know what’s up with the Wanheda thing they keep teasing but Lyza looks… not entirely human? I’m getting space fae vibes, there’s definitely _something_ dangerous about her. anyway where I was going with this is that like, I get that she’s super strong and heals from bullet wounds at an unreasonable rate but if she’s so highly trained by the Wanheda, WHY doesn’t she check her corners when she’s running into the middle of a shootout????? she wants to punch Augustus in the face THAT BADLY?  lywindus I mean, can you blame her?  meanteeth Lyza and Augustus every single time the other opens their mouth to speak in the first season:  meanteeth I want Morgana to step on me  meanteeth MOTHERFUCKING CLIFFHANGER RIP TO EVERYONE WHO WATCHED THAT FINALE IN REAL TIME  meanteeth so i guess this is an Arkadia blog now  Source: meanteeth #send me fic recs#i mean wait now there's another five seasons to go asdgfrth #but after that... i can already tell i will need fix it fics 1,204 notes 

“All right,” Jaha says, projecting his voice loudly enough that in the back corner, Emori and Miller stop snickering to themselves. Bellamy takes the cue to start wolfing down the last bites of his lo mein. Lunch has been rushed the last few days, and for once it’s not the time pressure of their new, looming premier date as it is everyone genuinely so engaged in the table reads that Anya’s been ordering takeout so they don’t lose time. “We’re going to start with episode 4,” Jaha continues, flipping through his own copy of the scripts. “I want the scene where Lyza confronts Morgana after her mission fails. Bellamy, finish chewing.”

A ripple of muffled giggles passes through the room as all eyes turn to see Bellamy trying to slurp noodles on a deadline. The trace of amusement on Jaha’s face makes Bellamy give him a quick thumbs up back and wipe his chin. Even _Jaha’s_ more relaxed - or as close to it as he ever gets.

Bellamy flips through the script, looking for that scene. He already read it over with Clarke last night, but he skims the opening again. _INT. THE PHOENIX - MORGANA'S BUNK - MOONRISE. LYZA enters the room._

“From the top!” Jaha orders, and next to him, Clarke takes a deep breath.

“Morgana? Can we talk?” Clarke asks, immediately slipping into Lyza’s cadence. The table reads are more about the dialogue and the mood than any action but Bellamy sees Clarke absently raise her fist as if she’d just knocked on a doorframe and can’t help but smile a little to himself. He used to hate how seriously she always takes table reads. Back in season 1, he thought she was making fun of his need to prove himself. Now he knows she’s just like that. “No, drop the salute. I’m not here as your commander. I’m here as your friend.”

“I’m sorry, Lyza. I - I froze. It won’t happen again,” Raven says. The nervousness, the guilt - it’s not like Morgana’s usual self, but this time the writing is deliberate.

“Are you hurt?”

“No. Miles…” Bellamy glances over at Raven’s table as she takes a deep breath and slams a mask down. Her voice becomes cool, professional. “It’s all in the report. Miles pulled me out of range of the blastwave at the last minute.” At the mention of his character, Zeke does a little dance in his seat, and Jaha raises his eyebrows pointedly until Zeke settles down. Bellamy hides his smile behind his fist.

“If it were anyone else saying it, I wouldn’t believe them. As it is, I’m worried about you,” Clarke says. She bites her lip. “Admiral Glass told me I have to make the call if you’re ready for duty.”

“So you _are_ here as my commander,” Raven challenges.

“If I were, I would have signed off on your evaluation already. You’re my best warrior. Anybody with sense would send you back into battle.”

“I’ll be fine. Like you said. I’m the best.”

Clarke lets the pause as she’s supposed to stare Morgana down linger. All around the room there is a sudden flutter of paper as everyone following along turns the page. No longer are they texting or trying to block out the cringe when they’re not involved in a scene. Bellamy has to admit that so far, it looks like Jaha’s really taken his epiphany to heart. The writing is… actually pretty good.

“What are you hiding?”

“Do you ever think about what we’re going to do after the war?” Raven asks, her cool facade breaking for a moment to let some of Morgana’s confusion and yearning out.

“No.” Clarke says hollowly, looking down. “I didn’t think we’d get this far.”

Bellamy’s turn. Heads swivel as everyone following along with the script looks to him.

“Morgana!” Bellamy says, making his voice breathless, as if he’s run to her quarters all the way from the ship’s bridge. In the script there isn’t a break between when he comes in and when he notices Lyza is there, but Bellamy does a subtle double take anyway. “Lyza,” he says, letting his voice go a fraction softer. Clarke’s lips twitch ever so slightly upwards with a smile and he can tell she likes his embellishments. He coughs and looks down at his script, his finger tracing the highlighted dialogue. “Good, you’re both here. We’re wanted in High Command.”

“Something wrong?” Clarke asks, immediately sliding sideways into Lyza’s commanding persona.

“There's some footage from the sentry droids that you should see,” Bellamy says, letting his voice sound pained, and at that Jaha stands and yells out _cut!_

“Not bad, not bad,” Jaha says, amounting to glowing praise. He flips pages. “John, you’re up. I want the scene where Augustus is negotiating safe passage.”

Murphy looks straight into Bellamy’s eyes from the other side of the room and wriggles his eyebrows suggestively. Bellamy angles his script and flips him off behind it so Jaha can’t see, and they get to work.

lyzadeservesanap my last two brain cells trying to get through this hiatus  #arkadia#lygustus#but jaha wont let us have nice things#also sorry for the low quality 5,204 notes 

"The energy going into table reads, the second time around, it was completely different," Clarke says next to him. The subtle bounce of her leg is the only hint she's nervous underneath the bright lights beating down on them and the interviewer's steely gaze.

"Different, how?" Kara Cooper asks.

Clarke's quick sideways glance is all Bellamy needs to step in.

"The first thing I noticed about our first table read was that the seats were moved around - no, really," Bellamy says as Kara raises an incredulous eyebrow. "Most of us had sat in the same seats near the same people for up to six seasons. It was disorienting being moved around."

"Like sitting back down at a chess board and finding out all the pieces had moved," Clarke interrupts. Bellamy nods his agreement and turns back to Kara. The cameraman behind her shifts his weight and creeps closer.

"I think that was very much how we felt without Wells," Bellamy says. Clarke stiffens imperceptibly next to him, but there was no way Kara wouldn't ask, and they agreed ahead of time that it was better to bring him up on their own terms. "When we first started working on season 7 we'd barely had any time to mourn, and you could feel it, and we were all kind of reeling without him, and we lost our direction for a bit. By the second time we'd started coming to terms with his death and with his impact on the fans and the story, and that changed how we approached the last season."

"Are we ever going to find out what that mysterious first draft of season 7 looked like?" Kara asks. "Everyone's been very tightlipped about it, I'm sure you've seen some of the rumours flying around between fans."

Bellamy forces a smile and tries to remember the exact wording of the answers Jaha had made them practice -

"I don't think so," Clarke says suddenly. She shifts uncomfortably, uncrossing her legs only to cross them the other way. The movement brings her heels bumping up against Bellamy's leg. He relaxes his leg until his shin is pressed against the length of her foot, warm and solid if she needs. "Season 7 was very much about saying goodbye and moving on. We're in the process of saying goodbye to Wells, to the characters we've played for years and years, to the amazing cast and crew we've worked so hard with. Those goodbyes have been incredibly difficult, and I think - "

She breaks off and takes a deep rattling breath. Bellamy's hand flies from his lap to her without his permission, but it's too late to take it back or pretend he meant otherwise when she grabs it and holds on like he's her lifeline. He’s not native enough to think they’ll cut that out of the final footage.

"Clarke," he says lowly.

She squeezes.

"I think," she tries again, blinking rapidly. "I think it's tempting to look back, and wonder what might be different, and dwell on the things that we regret. But this season is about goodbyes, and letting go, and accepting that some things are out of your control," Clarke says with a strained smile at Kara. "And if we released the scrapped episodes, that would go against that message. The new season is completely different, and that's the story we've all decided we want to tell. So I'd urge fans to stop wondering, and... let go."

As Clarke speaks, her grip on Bellamy's hand loosens and loosens until she pulls her hand away entirely and squeezes them into small fists at the side of her lap. Bellamy takes his hand back and flexes the fingers, trying to chase away the sensation that it feels emptier now without her touch.

Kara smiles without humour.

"That sounds incredibly wise and grown up of you," she says, and Bellamy wonders if the camera can pick up on the obvious disappointment that she won't get any juicy details out of them. He feels oddly unsettled the rest of the interview, more so than he usually is underneath the massive light-diffusing umbrellas and the intense scrutiny. He’s not really present until Kara decides to wrap up the interview by asking them what they have planned for the future. Clarke nudges Bellamy’s shoulder.

“Do you want to tell them the good news?” she asks, her smile bright and proud again, like nothing had happened.

“About…” Bellamy says, scrambling to keep up. Clarke raises her eyebrows ever so slightly. “Oh!” he says quickly. “The thing… we’re going public with it?”

“What’s this?” Kara asks, leaning forward, looking so hungry and intent that Bellamy kind of wants to retreat.

“Well,” he says, awkwardly scratching at the back of his head. “It’s still in the early stages because filming is our big priority now and we’re pulling long hours so that the special effects guys will be able to sleep, but uh. I’ve always loved storytelling, I’ve talked about my mother and what an inspiration she was in other interviews. I still love acting, and playing Augustus has been the best chapter of my life so far, but a few months ago, I confessed to Clarke that I’ve been working on a screenplay adaptation of one of my favourite book series and…”

“I basically hired myself as his producer,” Clarke finishes with a laugh.

“Yeah, more or less,” Bellamy says, grinning back at her. “It’s amazing so far. I didn’t want to admit how excited I was about this - “

“Because the world might find out how big of a nerd you are,” Clarke interrupts teasingly, and Bellamy spreads his hands wide in defeat.

“Yeah, that,” he says. “But Clarke has been supportive at every step of the way, we’re really feeding off each other’s enthusiasm. She’s an enabler. She’s enabling me.”

“Guilty as charged,” Clarke says, leaning her head against his shoulder for a moment. She pulls back too soon, and Bellamy misses her. It’s embarrassing, really, how much he wants her near, like a man dying of thirst in the desert. “So yeah, Attolia 2020!” she says brightly. “There’s going to be togas, mythology, tragic romance - all the things Bellamy is secretly enamored with. Keep your ears peeled for news on that.”

“I’m really excited to keep working with her,” Bellamy says softly. “There’s - there are quite a few people from Arkadia’s production who might be coming on board to help us with Attolia, which is really nice, because I suck at goodbyes. I wasn’t ready to let everyone go their own separate ways.”

Clarke’s smile is - well, it’s genuine, but he knows her well enough to know there’s a peculiar sadness lurking in it, one that the cameras wouldn’t pick up on. He means to ask her if she’s all right, ask about that strange answer about letting go after the interview, but Clarke says she needs a quick break, and doesn't return before Jaha spirits him away for more work.  


new day new bullshit  
@morganaz

Oh. My. God. Anyone else’s heart completely stopped beating when Clarke said they had good news?#Attolia

❤ 2,071 4:13 PM • February 25, 2020

1.3K people are talking about this

Clarke Griffin's Future Wife  
@mellowbellow

replying to  @morganaz

Yeah I’m not going to lie my mind immediately went to shippy places.

❤ 2,486 4:16 PM • February 25, 2019

2.1K people are talking about this

High King Elijah  
@highkingelijah

I am soooo excited two of my favourite people are going to be adapting the thief series, you guys need to read the books asap! #Attolia

❤ 3,261 4:32 PM • February 25, 2020

2.9K people are talking about this

lygustus or bust  
@arkabitch

If Jaha burns us this is gonna become an #Attolia blog real quick. 

❤ 1,653 4:49 PM • February 25, 2020

1.6K people are talking about this

The script that Maya helped them write in secret is still at the core of the new season, but it's gone through some changes with the addition of new writers and a budget that means they don't have to steal costumes and sets created for a diverging story.

Most of the dialogue and cues for the scene where Lyza and Augustus kiss for the first time have remained intact, though Jaha, in true Jaha fashion, has thrown even more CGI explosions in the lead up to it. The biggest difference between the scene Bellamy and his friends planned, and the one Jaha is now putting into production, is the zero-g.

Arkadia's zero-g scenes have made them infamous, with fans eagerly clamoring for behind the scenes footage and explanations of seemingly effortless choreography at every con. There was no chance of them managing to film any zero-g scenes in secret, not with the tough safety restrictions on the harnesses and the amount of post-processing that goes into removing the wires and simulating floating objects.

On an entirely professional level, Bellamy's glad the kiss will be zero-g. Most of his favourite scenes in past seasons were zero-g. It's a good challenge as an actor, since he does most of his stunts and it's a lot of work to look like he's effortlessly floating, but more importantly when he gets to watch the finalized episodes and see the magic, they always make him hold his breath in wonder. On a professional level he wants that for Lyza and Augustus' first kiss. He wants the sensation of weightlessness, the slow and elegant movements that come with it. It'll look great for the fans, he's sure, but more importantly it'll feel right.

On the other, significantly less professional hand, Bellamy's been dreading this day just as much as he's been aching for it.

He lets Sinclair, the engineering consultant that Raven's always hanging around, get him into the harness that discreetly seems to be part of his Arkadian military uniform. Clarke shows up just as Sinclair and Anya start explaining how they've set up the rigs for this shot, and Bellamy doesn't see her at first because he's craning his neck up at the pulley system far above the cylindrical compartment of the fake engine room. From the inside, with all the scaffolding on the other side out of view, it looks real, not painted plywood and foam rivets but solid metal. In a few minutes, it really will look like he and Clarke are desperately bouncing around their spaceship's core, trying to cut power to a warhead that threatens galactic peace.

She bumps up against his shoulder as if summoned by his thoughts and Bellamy forces a smile. Her hair is braided tightly against her head and tucked underneath a bright green baldcap. For zero-g scenes they add her hair in post-processing, golden and weightless and floating around her head like they're suspended underwater. Bellamy always loves seeing the end result, knows it goes a long way to making Lyza seem otherworldly.

"You ready?" he asks.

"I never am," Clarke says as she grimaces and tugs at the harness that the wires will clip onto. _Not what I was asking,_ Bellamy thinks, but it's an understandable misinterpretation. Of all of the main cast, Clarke infamously hates zero-g scenes the most, and Harper does the majority of Lyza's stunts. There's no way Jaha will let Clarke get out of this one though, not with all the close-ups the cameras are going to get of their faces. He feels dread and excitement pooling together in his stomach and begins to have trouble telling them apart.

He's going to kiss Clarke Griffin. After six seasons, six years of being rattled by his attraction to her... he's finally going to kiss her.

_Not Clarke_, Bellamy tries to tell himself sternly. _Lyza_. He doesn't look at her as the activity picks up on the set around them, as Anya makes sure they see all their cues and Clarke mumbles her lines under her breath and Sinclair clips them into the rig. Monty gives them a thumbs up from behind one of the computer carts, from which he'll be piloting the camera rig. Bellamy shakes out his hands and stomps his feet, bouncing up on his toes to try and feel weightless.

"All right," Kane says, clapping his hands together, a little awkward since he has a script pinned under one armpit. "Everyone ready to start filming? Especially you two," he says, pointing between Bellamy and Clarke. "I hope you went to the bathroom before you got rigged up."

"I'm good to go," Bellamy says, and to his relief his voice sounds strong and confident, only a faint trace of his fear lingering. _You're an actor_, he reminds himself. _You better be able to lie about this._

"It'll be fine," Clarke says faintly, giving the crew a thumbs up.

And then, they're off into the air, their weight sitting in their harnesses. The lurch in Bellamy's stomach is only partially from the lift as the floor falls away beneath his kicking feet.

They film the action first, with him and Clarke "floating" at opposite ends of the engine room, pulling levers and yelling dire predictions about cooling rods at each other. It passes easily enough in an hour or so, with Kane having them lowered back to the ground twice for snacks and instructions. They crowd around the playback even though he tells them it's fine and argue on whether or not it could be done better.

"Stop procrastinating," Kane says. "If Jaha doesn't like it, we'll do more takes tomorrow. I want to finish the kiss today."

The way he says it - the way everyone on set has been saying it, for the last few weeks, makes it sound capitalized. The Kiss, with a capital T and K. He and Clarke take their places beneath the pulley system and he notices she's looking a little pale.

"Are you all right?" Bellamy asks urgently. "Clarke? Vertigo?"

"No," she says. "I mean, not vertigo. I just... we should have practiced."

"What?" Bellamy says dumbly.

"I don't want to kiss you for the first time on camera," Clarke says, sounding almost angry, and before he can ask for any more clarification their harnesses lurch them into the air.

The butterflies in Bellamy's stomach mount a violent and spirited revolt as he and Clarke are lifted to their separate stations on the outer curve of the engine room. They're at the same height, but the nuclear core sits between them like a gravity well. Jaha had the set builders move the maintenance stations inwards a little bit, not quite 180 degrees apart but less than that, so that Bellamy and Clarke will both be able to pull their respective levers to shut off the reactor and then turn around and see each other on the other side.

Bellamy puts his hand on the lever and closes his eyes. His name is Augustus, he's fighting for the Arkadian empire, he's just stopped another war from erupting, and he's about to give into the feelings he's had for his partner for years. He doesn't have to fake the adrenaline. His fingers are trembling in the lever, his pulse is racing in his ears.

"Scene!" Kane yells distantly, and Bellamy brings his knees up a little as though gravity isn't pulling his legs down and turns. He lets out a full-body sigh of relief as the camera creeps closer on its own system of pulleys, but hesitates only a moment before pushing off of the engine room's outer wall. Raven's the best of them at intuitively grasping how to move as though she's really weightless, but Bellamy's gotten good at faking it too. He barely has to think about it now, about pushing off to get momentum, about holding his limbs steady as the technician piloting his rig down below gently carries him forward. Clarke mirrors his movement on the other side a heartbeat later and reaches out, her face open and yearning, filling up his field of view as they collide together, grasping desperately at each other's arms.

When Anya first sketched out this choreography Bellamy saw it from her perspective, an outsider's view, like it would appear on-screen. Lyza and Augustus collide together in the center and grab on to each other's arms and the force of their momentum spins them around one and a half turns, a slow, weightless ballet, until they're looking in the direction they started in, having switched places. It took the engineering team two weeks to figure out how to build the rig.

When they're doing it for real Bellamy forgets about everything else. There's just Clarke, startlingly beautiful because of the way she's looking at him. She makes a sound when they collide together, like a gasp, not quite of pain, so he takes a moment to check that she's all right instead of surging forward and kissing her roughly, as the script says. Out of the corner of his eye he can see the camera's black iris closing in on then.

"You're okay?" he asks. She nods. Every shake of her head means an extra three days of render time for her hair. The CGI team is going to curse her for that, and the thought makes the corner of his mouth twitch up ever so slightly.

"Tell me it was worth it," Clarke pleads, her fingers digging into his arms. That's not in the script but Bellamy hardly cares.

"It was," he promises, putting force into his voice, letting it go rough and low the way tumblr seems to like it. "It matters, I promise," he says, and when the faintest smile of relief blooms on her face he brushes her cheek with his thumb and kisses her.

The room falls away. It's oddly peaceful, being up here in the rig alone with her. For a moment Bellamy forgets the crew and the cameras and the story. He even forgets why he was so afraid to kiss Clarke, because it's amazing. Her mouth is soft and warm against his, her fists tug at his collar in a demanding way as she tries to pull him closer. Stage kisses are supposed to be awful but Clarke is his best friend, and Bellamy would be lying if he said he didn't know instinctively how to bite her lip to get her to gasp against him.

"Cut!" Kane shouts, and they jerk apart. "Not exactly what we had planned, but I like it. Let's do that again for the wide angle shots!"

Before Bellamy can say anything the motion rigs pull them apart and slowly spin them around, reversing the motion they'd come together in. Clarke presses her lips together in a thin line and looks uneasy with the whole procedure, probably because they're high up and it's dizzying even for Bellamy, who doesn't mind zero-g scenes, to watch the set spin behind her head.

"Focus on my face," he tells her quietly. "Breathe in through your nose, don't look at the background. If you're nauseated we can go down. Just say the word."

"I'm fine," Clarke says tightly, and then they're split apart, the rigs carrying them to opposite ends of the set where they started the shot. Bellamy grabs onto the lever at his station and lets out a frustrated breath as Kane and the others down below take an extra moment to maneuver the cameras out of the way for the wide angle shots. Bellamy's skin prickles with irritation and has little to do with the texture of Augustus' costume. It's just that, until today, he thought the most painless way to shoot this scene with Clarke was to pretend it was nothing and never bring it up if she didn't, and now suddenly, when they're already dangling in the air and it's too late, he wants to drag her into a corner and tell her everything. He looks over his shoulder at her station but she's mouthing something angrily to herself, not paying him any attention. The rest of this scene doesn't exactly have any lines to rehearse, so Bellamy's not sure what she could be saying, but he doesn't have time to wonder when Kane shouts out a warning from below.

He turns back to the wall of the set.

It's not real. His name is Augustus. He fights for the Arkadian empire. He's about to tell his partner he loves her.

From down below, Kane asks if they're ready. Bellamy gives him a thumbs up, and presumably Clarke gives a similar signal, because Kane gives them the go-ahead a moment later. Bellamy slips into Augustus in the space of a single breath. He turns to look over his shoulder as the engine room's lights melt from emergency red to a soft blue. They'll add in the sound of machinery grinding to a halt in post-processing. For now he just lets go of the lever on his side of the set and pushes off the wall with his legs. The rig carries him, weightless, through the air, on a collision course with Clarke. She reaches out, her wide eyes and trembling lip making her look beyond vulnerable, and they spin together in the center of the void, Clarke's hands clutching his arms, one thumb stroking her cheek.

"You're okay?" he asks.

Clarke responds, and he has no idea if that's the line she said last time, but if it isn't Kane will tell them. He brings her close, ignoring everything and everyone else, kisses her like the world depends on it. The wide angle shot is more involved than the close-ups - for this he holds onto Clarke's waist and she lifts up her legs, crossing them behind his hips and settling herself against his core. Bellamy doesn't need to fake the groan as she presses close, warm and intoxicating, her fingers scrambling at the fastenings of his uniform. In zero-g they'd be adrift now, one object with shared direction and velocity, nothing to push off of and change course but each other. In every other kissing scene Bellamy's ever done he tries to ground himself in the set, digging his hands into bedsheets or soil, focusing on movement, on the environment. Here there is nothing to hold onto but Clarke. Nothing that feels real but Clarke. His chest feels tight and aching and in comparison the harness holding him suspended melts away from his consciousness. Her legs are a vice around his hips and he hooks one hand into her belt loops to keep her close, to keep up the friction that's making his head spin, afraid of what she might see if she pulls away. His fingers scratch at the back of Clarke's neck as he tilts her head up for a deeper kiss and she squirms against him with a gasping sound that goes straight to his groin.

Bellamy chases that sound, wanting to hear her moan again and again and again, greedy for it like oxygen, like he needs it to keep going. Distantly, he's aware of Jaha yelling cut, once, twice, and then a third time uncertainly.

It doesn't really register until a distant corner of his mind that hasn't completely shut down at the touch of Clarke's tongue wonders when Jaha arrived on set.

Set. _Oh,_ he realizes, guilt curdling low in his stomach. The cameras are still rolling.

Bellamy pulls away from Clarke like he's been burned, and watches her face pass through several expressions in as many seconds - a dazed sort of bliss, followed by shock, and a flush that rises to her cheeks that makes him think of their screaming matches in the early days of season one. He watches her remember in real-time that this is only a story...

It's not real. It's not supposed to be.

arkadia-positivity I know we all joke about Augustus’ heart eyes lol but... sometimes I wonder...  #arkadia#lygustus #vagueblogging again 184 notes 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whistles* so, that happened. :)
> 
> I watched some The Expanse behind the scenes interviews a while back where they talked about filming zero g scenes (apparently it involves a lot of wires, holding your limbs up in weird positions, and cgi hair) and it was very inspiring. Anyway, I know jroth doesn't love us enough to give us a beautiful zero g first kiss so I did it myself. 
> 
> Ongoing thank you to [@grumpybell](https://grumpybell.tumblr.com) for the use of her gorgeous [icons!](https://grumpybell.tumblr.com/icons)  
Reference for tweets [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22517134/chapters/53929063#workskin)  
Reference for tumblr posts [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099596/chapters/50203892)  
The book series that Clarke and Bellamy are adapting is real and magnificent! I highly recommend giving the [first book](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/448873.The_Thief)  
a try. You will not see that ending coming.
> 
> Hope you're all well and safe, ilu. Thanks for reading, and you can find this fic on tumblr here and my writing updates tag [here](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com/tagged/sara's-writing-upd8s).


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **CONTENT WARNINGS:** ongoing grief/mourning, references to sex of the sort that you'd find scrolling down your average ao3 feed
> 
> One of the icons in the tumblr post was repeatedly migrating to the left during editing, I think I fixed it, but if it knocks itself out of alignment again, pls forgive me. I am small and tired and no match for ao3's automatic code sanitation.

#

“Get me down,” Clarke snaps at the silent crowd of people down below, and something in her voice makes the rig technicians snap to attention. The wires suspending her jerk for a single instant before beginning to lower her to the ground in one smooth motion. It takes them a moment longer to realize they should probably lower Bellamy too, and this delay means that by the time his feet are touching the ground, Clarke has already unclipped her harness and is striding out of the room with an intensity he recognizes from their early days. Bellamy’s heart sinks as he remembers how long it’s been since he last saw the back of her head as she walked away, furious with him. He thought they were better than that now. He looks down at his feet as the crew, at an order from Kane, detach his harness from the rig.

“Were we pushing too hard, Bellamy?” Kane asks quietly. It’s a valid question. They’ve been on this set for an hour already with no break to ease the discomfort of the harness, and he and Clarke were filming other scenes for five or six hours before, plus she spent like an hour in makeup and they were up late googling places in Greece where they could film Attolia, and -

And it’s not really about that.

“I just need to talk to her,” Bellamy mumbles. He needs to apologize, he needs to fix this so she never looks at him with that betrayal in her eyes again. Whatever it takes to make her comfortable - fuck, he can’t believe he fucked up this badly with several episodes of Arkadia still left to go, to say nothing of Attolia. If he loses her… if he loses his best friend…

“We can film something else today, pick up the kiss again tomorrow if it’s too much,” Jaha tells him and Kane. “But if there’s something going on between you and Clarke, you need to figure it out.”

Bellamy is _not_ willing to discuss his hopeless crush on his costar with his boss. No. That’s not happening.

“Just give us some time to talk and I’ll bring her back,” Bellamy says desperately. Jaha checks his watch with pursed lips.

“You have forty minutes.”

It takes Bellamy nearly ten just to find her. She's not in the bathroom or the break room, and not in her own makeup trailer. Bellamy curses as he steps away from the door and wonders where else she could be hiding. With Raven or Harper, maybe?

He slips his phone out of his pocket. It unlocks on the text messages they were sending back and forth in makeup this morning. Just seeing her name at the top of his screen brings a lump to his throat. He presses the call button.

"Come on Clarke, pick up," he murmurs as he listens to the first ring. He wants her to answer as much as he dreads it. He has no idea what he'd say if she did. Just knows that the simple fact of picking up would be an olive branch.

A moment later, he hears faint ringing from the trailer across from Clarke's.

His trailer.

Bellamy drifts up to the door, hardly daring to breathe. He leans in close to the door, and - yes. Her ringtone. She's taken shelter in his makeup trailer. Bellamy cancels the call and leans his forehead against the cool metal of the door.

"Clarke," he says. "Can you hear me?"

No answer. He thinks he might hear shuffling behind the door, but it could just as easily be his own eager imagination.

"I'm sorry," he says hoarsely, closing his eyes. "I never wanted to make you uncomfortable, so if there's anything I can do, please let me know. You're my best friend, Clarke. If I could go back in time, I'd shake my younger self for giving you such a hard time and wasting time that we could have been friends because you've - "

Bellamy's head spins with the fear that he's ruined everything between them and he leans a forearm against the door so he doesn't lose his balance.

"You've been through so much," he mumbles. "And I know how strong you are, but it's still not fair. I never wanted to make you have to deal with my feelings for you, on top of everything else - "

From the other side of the door he hears a muffled thud and then the handle clicks. The door swings inward without any further warning, faster than he can gather his wits, and he stumbles into Clarke. She must have taken off her green cap at some point because her hair gets into his mouth as she flings herself into his arms.

"What feelings?" she asks in a wavering voice. Bellamy's hands hover nervously over her back, aching to embrace her back and yet -

He swallows hard.

"I'm in love with you, Clarke Griffin," he whispers.

"You _idiot_," Clarke answers, squeezing him tighter. "Fuck, we're both such idiots."

"Um," Bellamy says.

Clarke pulls back and angrily wipes a tear away with the back of her hand, smearing Lyza's eyeliner.

"How long?" she demands.

It's hard to say. Bellamy was always attracted to her, even those first few months when they wanted to strangle each other the instant the cameras stopped rolling, and even when they eventually fell into friendship his awareness of her curves and steely eyes never quite faded. But love came so gradually he doesn't know when to draw a line and say there was a before and after.

"I'm not sure," Bellamy says. "You snuck up on me. But uh. It's been a while."

"Fuck," Clarke says with a shaky laugh. "I was so convinced I ruined our friendship today - "

"I thought I had - " Bellamy blurts out.

"I couldn't lose you," Clarke continues desperately. "I thought... I thought you were never going to love me back."

Bellamy puts his face in his hands for a moment and drops them just a heartbeat later, not wanting to lose sight of her face, of the miracle of his own shock and relief mirrored on her features.

"Good thing we're on the same page now… right?" Bellamy says shakily, and then as he looks at Clarke the corners of her mouth twitch upwards until she is laughing, and then they are both laughing and she reaches for him again and Bellamy feels drunk on the way she feels in his arms, the sound of her laughter, the knowledge that she loves him, she loves him, she loves him -

"So what now?" Clarke asks.

_What now?_ Bellamy thinks. It seems ridiculous that the world should go puttering along when his has just been turned upside down. He checks the time because it seems like something he should so. There are only twenty minutes left of the time Kane and Jaha gave him to find Clarke and bring her back ready to film again. The responsible thing to do would be to return and get their makeup touched up and Clarke's hair tucked back underneath the green CGI cap.

He very strongly does not want to do the responsible thing, not with his pulse thundering in his ears. He licks his lips nervously.

"Do you want... do you want to take things slow?" he asks. Clarke blinks.

"Haven't we been slow enough?" she asks.

"In that case," Bellamy says, checking the time again. "We have twenty minutes until we have to be back on set. Wanna see how many times I can make you come by then?"

Clarke starts taking off her shirt before he's even locked the door.

ARKADIA ALL STARS  
  
Harper  
has anyone seen Clarke or Bellamy?  
Raven  
didn't he go looking for her? Harper  
yeah  
but neither of them have come back and Jaha is starting to climb up the walls.  
Miller  
more than usual, you mean? Monty  
I haven't seen them anywhere  
Jasper  
i'll go check the trailers Maya  
I’ll try to hint to Jaha that we can film something else. Emori, are you still in makeup?  
Emori  
we're nearly done I can hurry over Maya  
perfect. Raven, you come too. At the very least we can go over your lines to distract Jaha  
Harper  
neither of them is answering their phones...  
Monty  
do you think somethings happened to them?  
Miller  
don't worry about it Murphy  
workplace safety is no joke Nathaniel  
Miller  
do not call me that seriously, don't worry about it. maya that's a good plan, let's do that Harper  
how do you know, have you heard from them???  
Miller  
sort of Jasper  
OH MY GOD  
BELLARKE  
Bellamy removed Jasper Jordan from the group chat  
We'll be there in a minute  
Raven  
dude  
Raven added Jasper Jordan to the group chat  
Jasper  
AHHHHHHHHHHH Clarke removed Jasper Jordan from the group chat  
Clarke  
I think he needs a few minutes to calm down Murphy  
what the hell is going on?

  


For once in his life, Jaha is actually helpful. Knowingly or unknowingly, he keeps most of the others back for a few minutes to talk about tomorrow’s filming schedule. Clarke takes the opportunity to slip her hand into Bellamy’s and discretely tug him away. Raven tilts her head to look at them as the warehouse door squeaks open, her eyes narrowing thoughtfully, until Jaha snaps at her to pay attention. It's the last thing Bellamy sees, looking over his shoulder, as Clarke pulls him through the door and it swings shut behind them. Outside, the first breath of air Bellamy takes is cold enough to shock whatever lingering exhaustion he might have had. That, or it’s Clarke’s hand in his that’s making adrenaline thrum through his body.

“You wanna go get dinner?” Clarke asks lightly. Bellamy is already feeling the first stirrings of hunger, but he suspects that’s not really what she’s asking.

“Yeah. Gina’s?” he asks. He’s not ready to go to either of their houses and have to field their friends’ curiosity, either. It’s only been a handful of hours since he kissed Clarke for the first time, and they haven’t exactly had time to talk about what that means, and Jasper picking the lock on his trailer while they hastily dressed was _not_ how Bellamy would have chosen to break the news. Clarke made him promise to give them at least a few days to figure it out, but. It’s Jasper. Bellamy loves him, he really does, but secrets are not his forte. He gives it a day before Jasper tells Monty and the snowball starts rolling.

Clarke drives, and Bellamy wants to look at her, still half-convinced that he’ll wake up if he loses sight of her for a second, but there’s no way to discretely do that in the passenger seat. He watches her hands on the steering wheel instead, her fingers long and elegant and milk-white from the cold. Those hands are going to be the death of him. He sees her tapping nervously against the wheel as she turns into the parking lot at Gina’s diner and covers his mouth to hide his smile.

Before his first audition, Octavia told him it made sense to be nervous about something, if it meant he cared about the result. A rare piece of wisdom from his wild-hearted sister. If Clarke is as nervous as he is, then maybe - maybe they have somewhere to start.

Bellamy falls into step with her as they cross the parking lot. The sky is already dark, like it always is this time of day at this time of year, the colour of blueberries and mottled with dark gray clouds. The sign over the diner glows neon against the sky. Bellamy stops in his tracks when he sees a star just above the e in diner, the first star out tonight, stubborn and resplendent through the clouds and the light pollution. _Can you wish on this?_ he almost asks.

“Come on,” Clarke says, tugging on his elbow, her teeth chattering ever so slightly. “It’s cold.” Bellamy shakes himself out of it and follows her inside. The space heater above the door blasts them in the face with a wave of hot air, and Clarke makes a content sound that makes Bellamy duck his head and blush.

“Hey,” Gina calls out with a smile, as she grabs menus from a table at the back of the diner and walks briskly to them. “Just you two tonight? Where’s the goon squad?”

“Still at work,” Clarke says. “Jaha’s taken to the season redo with a dedication that is, frankly, alarming.” Gina snorts as she leads them to their group’s usual booth in the back of the diner and around the corner of the bar, where they can’t be seen from the door. They still get requests for autographs and sneaky pictures taken of them sometimes, but Gina’s place quickly became one of their favourite establishments in town because she’s not afraid to shoo people back to their tables. She’s a casual fan of the show, apparently, and of Raven’s mecha suit. Bellamy hooked up with her once, while filming season 3. Octavia had just cut ties with him - more permanently, this time - and he grasped at any chance to feel lovable. The morning after, he burnt the omelette he tried to make for her while looking for an ibuprofen for his hangover, and Gina had patted him on the back and told him to stick to letting her cook. He’s just glad she never made it awkward. Murphy would have strangled him if they couldn’t go back to the best pancakes in town because he’d fucked it up.

When they get to their booth Clarke immediately slides into her usual corner. Bellamy hesitates next to Gina. He and Clarke always sit next to each other when they come here with all their friends, but the booth is wide and empty with only two people in it and it seems ridiculous to crowd into one corner with Clarke. But then Clarke shifts her bag and jacket onto her other side and pats the cushion next to her. Bellamy bites his lip and slides in next to her. He notices Gina smirking as she leans in to pass them their menus and raises his eyebrows at her. She shrugs one shoulder, still smirking, and spins on her heel as she leaves.

There’s no where Bellamy can go without someone making fun of him. Apparently he’s obvious. He glances at Clarke, who is already skimming the menu, her tongue stuck out to the side in concentration. His chest squeezes painfully. He takes a deep breath just to prove he can.

“So. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Food first,” Clarke says, nudging his menu closer. “So if it goes badly, I can dine and dash.”

“I see a few problems with that plan. First of all, Kane will kill us if he has to deal with the PR disaster of one of his lead stars skipping the bill at a wholesome local establishment,” Bellamy says. He hopes he hasn’t misread Clarke’s joke. “You’ll be canceled on twitter, Clarke.”

“I’m _shocked_ you know what cancel culture is,” Clarke says dryly, flipping the menu over to look at the dinner combos. The sarcasm eases some of the tension out of his shoulders. He made out with her in front of their boss and half their friends and coworkers and got her off in his trailer about four times, but if they can still trade playful banter, maybe what they become together won’t be unrecognizable.

“I got famous playing an antagonist, Clarke, I know all about getting canceled on twitter,” Bellamy says, picking up the menu. “Second, you drove us here, how am I getting home if you run?”

“Pretty face like yours?” Clarke muses with a crooked smile. “You’ll get picked up by a sympathetic soccer mom in no time.”

“Charming,” he says, and finally looks down at the menu, his own lips turning upwards. He already knows he’s going to get the french toast and sausage combo, but it’s soothing to sit with her in silence for a moment as she chooses. He can just barely hear her breathing over the incredibly faint pop playing at the counter. A piece of her hair falls into her face as she considers the bottom of the menu, and Bellamy reaches over to brush it behind her ear. Clarke shivers. “You still cold?” he asks.

Clarke looks at him, eyes narrowed.

“Sometimes you’re really stupid,” she says.

“I get by on my pretty face,” Bellamy replies, managing to keep a serious facade for a whole four seconds before Clarke cracks up. When Gina returns they’re both laughing.

“I _know_ the puns on the menu aren’t that funny,” she chastises them.

“Actually, I want the Eggsistential Crisis just for the name,” Clarke says, struggling to compose herself.

“All right,” Gina says, shaking her head. “One eggistential crisis, coming up. Bellamy?”

“The French are the Wurst, please,” he says, only sounding a little choked up.

“Oh, can I have a milkshake, too?” Clarke asks, grabbing the drinks menu. “Um, Living la Vida Mocha? With almond milk please, so Bellamy doesn’t die when he inevitably steals it.”

“There should be no mercy given to milkshake thieves,” Gina says, but she writes it down and leaves them with a smile.

Bellamy starts brainstorming cool and hip ways to ask _do you want to talk about the fact that we're apparently in love with each other_ but before he can settle on one, Clarke reaches into her bag and pulls out her pocket sketchbook. It’s the fifth one she’s gone through since Bellamy met her, and six years ago he was torn between thinking it was the most pretentious thing he’d ever seen and feeling jealous that he hadn’t thought of it first. As she flips through it to the latest pages he sees sketches of togas, of olive trees, of a hooked hand. Of _him_. Clarke flips past those before he can get a good look and flattens the crease on some of the more detailed costume sketches she’s been doing lately.

“What do you think?” she asks, tilting the pages towards him. Bellamy bites his lip. Clarke is treating this like any other day they’d gone out to dinner and spread their books and laptops out over an entire table and worked on Attolia together until the kitchen’s last call. And while Bellamy has loved every evening he’s gotten to spend with her like that… today _isn’t_ the same.

“I love it,” he says carefully, taking her hand under the table. “And you have no idea how happy I was when you jumped on this project with me and started ordering people around left and right. Just to know you’d still be in my life after Arkadia ends…”

“But?” Clarke asks, her voice barely a whisper as her eyes dart nervously between his.

“I can’t concentrate on this until we talk about us,” Bellamy says. “I don’t know how you’re being so… normal.”

“Bellamy…” Clarke says. “I’ve been in love with you for like, five years. Nothing’s changed on my end except that now I know I’m not pining for a brick wall.”

“Hey,” Bellamy says mildly.

“I know, I know, we’re actors,” she says, raising her other palm up defensively. “But… I don’t know, I guess I’m saying I don’t really want anything to change, except that we get to kiss now. I love the way you are and I don’t want you to suddenly start acting different with me, and the way I’ve been acting with you for years is the way I’m going to keep acting. Does that make any sense?”

“I think so?” Bellamy says. “I think I’ve just… this feels different. Everyone I’ve ever dated, they were never a friend before they were a romantic interest, you know? We started flirting as soon as we met and there was never a transition from being platonic.”

Clarke snorts in laughter.

“I haven’t been platonic with you in _years_,” she says. “The hotel thing, at the con?”

“Did you not lose your key?”

“Oh no, I lost it for real,” Clarke says. “But I could have gone to a different room. Or reception. I went to you, Bellamy. I wanted any excuse to be close.”

“Every season, I kept waiting for Jaha to finally make Lygustus canon so I could kiss you without having to embarrass myself,” Bellamy confesses, and Clarke grins back, sheepish and fond. Her hand squeezes his under the table, and Bellamy thinks he might understand what she means about things not having to change much. Gina brings their food a moment later and conversation slowly transitions to Clarke’s correspondence with some location scouts for Attolia’s filming.

And it feels like he’s right where he should be.

meanteeth  meanteeth meanteeth I’ve finally reached 6x01… and you know what, you guys were right. It is totally outrageous that it’s been six seasons and Lygustus still hasn’t kissed. someone should tell Jaha to fix that. Still, I persevere in watching. For Morgana and John Murphy, whose character’s name I actually know now but it’s funnier to keep calling him John Murphy every time. I’m excited to see Lyza and Morgana go up against the Council after they pulled a Nick Fury and decided to totally disregard orders in the finale.  meanteeth Oh hell this isn’t going well  meanteeth omg the cute bartender survived the solar storm on phoenix station!! Good for him  meanteeth HOLY SHIT THE CUTE BARTENDER JUST STABBED AUGUSTUS WHAT THE FUCK  lywindus Lol your liveblogs are the only thing that’s been keeping me going through this hiatus  meanteeth rip cute bartender, the first known victim of Miles’ mind-hijacking energy wave, you were great while you lasted. If anyone’s written Augustus/bartender fics that don’t end in Augustus getting stabbed, pls send them to me.  meanteeth You know. They never did explain why Prince Elijah’s betrothed was a literal shapeshifting lizard.  lygana_queen LMAO I FORGOT ABOUT THAT  meanteeth Oh holy shit I just got to the part where Morgana goes back to her home planet and… wow. That hurt. Why won’t Jaha let us have nice things.  meanteeth I think that was one of my favourite episodes of the entire series. I take it back, Jaha gives us a little nice thing, as a treat. I love bottle episodes. Flashbacks to little chubby-cheeked Morgana while her present day self sends out increasingly desperate SOSes. Raven acted the /hell out of that. Morgana learning that she can rely on her friends and that she’s allowed to ask for help….. I love it. Has anyone made a gifset paralleling this with Lyza crashlanding on that desert planet in season 3?  meanteeth Knowing that Prince Elijah’s actor dies before I started watching does not, in fact, make me dread the finale any less.  meanteeth I’m finally caught up. That was a fucking ride. Wake me up when season 7 airs, I need a nap and a good cry.  Source: meanteeth #arkadialb#ughhhhhhhh #wells jaha for ts 2,341 notes 

Gina closes up shop four milkshakes later, around midnight. She waves them off when Clarke offers her a ride home, so they say goodnight and Bellamy grabs Clarke's hand and they run across the parking lot as though the car won’t be just as cold once they get to it. The diner’s neon sign glows red and blue, illuminating the side of Clarke’s face and the fog of her breathing as she turns the key.

“Do you want to stay at my place tonight?” Bellamy asks, and hastily adds - “Honestly, I just really want to cuddle you.”

Clarke gives him a half smile.

“That’d be nice,” she says, and he assumes it’s the road in front of her that’s distracting her. He texts Miller, knowing he’ll still be awake, streaming a League game.

Miller  
  
  
I’ll wash all your dishes for a week if you go into my room rn and open the window, no questions asked bold of you to assume I want to ask anything. idc about your private life two weeks. In this economy? One. one but you make me lasagna Lasagna or dishes, you can only have one fine, I'll do it for the lasagna. you happy? Thought you didn't have any questions :) dick also use emojis like a fucking normal person Yeah Miller. I think I'm happy.

Clarke parks down the street from his house and Bellamy has his hand on the door latch before he realizes she hasn’t taken the keys out of the ignition or moved at all.

“What’s up?”

“There’s something I probably should tell you,” she says, her voice low and distant. Bellamy lets go of the door and reaches for her instead.

“You can tell me anything,” he says, but it still takes her a moment to speak, her face clearly working through several painful emotions. The delight and weightless disbelief Bellamy has been floating on since he found out she loves him back becomes poisoned by dread. “Clarke?”

“Wells and I had a fight the night he died,” she says quietly, and the dread sharpens into horror. Kane managed to keep the fact that Wells was driving home from Clarke’s place the night that he crashed out of the media’s clutches, seeing at once that she wasn’t in a place to handle extra scrutiny at the time, and none of them had asked her about it, no one wanting to poke at the bruises. “Sort of a fight,” Clarke amends with a bitter laugh. “Because you know he’s never been very good at fighting back. We um. We said as kids that if we were still single when we turned 35 that we’d just marry each other, and we were joking around, and - “ she hides her face in her hands, and all further words are muffled and despairing. “He said I should just _tell_ you, and I told him he was as bad as my mother when it comes to getting up in my business, and I don’t even know why I was such a dick that night, but I told him to fuck off and he went home and next thing I know Kane is calling me at 2am - “

“_Clarke_,” Bellamy says desperately as she breaks off with a sob. The console digs into his ribcage as he leans over to try to hug her, but he doesn’t care, can’t imagine backing away.

“He died thinking I was mad at him,” Clarke says.

“No way,” Bellamy says hoarsely, coughing through the sudden lump in his throat. “Not Wells. You know how he was, he knew you better than anyone.”

“And I know they said he wasn’t at fault for the crash but I still sometimes wonder if he was distracted because I yelled at him - “ Clarke continues.

“You can’t blame yourself for that. It was an accident.”

“For a moment, just now, I forgot that he's dead,” Clarke says. “I was so happy, I just wanted to call him and tell him he was right about you and…”

“And then you remembered,” Bellamy finishes quietly. Clarke’s lower lip trembles as she looks at him. The streetlights gleam off unshed tears.

“Yeah,” she says. “Then I remembered.”

It's happened to him too, just like that, and he wasn't nearly as close with Wells as Clarke was.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Bellamy repeats, wishing he knew the right words in the right order with the right intonation that could magically chase away the doubt, the lingering guilt. After Octavia, his first instinct was to blame himself too. He knows what that’s like. He doesn’t wish it on anyone. But it’s not something that someone else can convince you of.

Bellamy reaches out and lays his hand on the console between their seats, palm up. A moment later Clarke takes it, her fingers cold and shaking, and they sit with their grief for a while in silence, watching the streetlight down the block flicker gently.

“Come inside," Bellamy says softly, when Clarke starts fidgeting again. "One day you’ll believe me, but right now, you shouldn’t be alone.”

Clarke wipes tears away with the back of her hand and shakes her head.

“I don’t want Miller or Murphy to see me right now,” she whispers.

“I’m not going in through the front door,” Bellamy says, and he thinks it’s the curiosity, more than anything, that makes her take the keys out of the ignition and follow him. He reaches over the backyard gate to pull the latch and boosts her up into the creaky old maple tree that shadows the second-story overhang. Clarke inches carefully along the branch, not quite trusting her footing until Bellamy helps her jump the gap to the roof.

“This is the sort of shenanigan I didn’t get up to in high school, because I was an A+ student with a curfew,” she murmurs as they creep along the overhang around the side of the house until they get to his window. Miller’s cracked it open enough that Bellamy can reach in through the gap and widen it until they can fit through.

“You really missed out then, huh?” Bellamy whispers. His feet hit his bedroom floor with a soft, muffled thud, and then he helps Clarke through. She stumbles forward on the landing and he grabs her waist to balance her.

“Shh,” Clarke says.

“I didn’t say anything,” Bellamy says, and she sticks her fingers in his mouth to quiet him. After they’re both done trying to shush the other, Bellamy tilts his head and listens. Through the wall, he can just faintly hear music.

“Murphy listens to love songs?” Clarke asks.

“You know what they say. Everyone’s a lover,” Bellamy says. He wraps his arms around her and lets their bodies sway in the darkness, the music so faint he has to hold his breath to hear the lyrics. They won’t be able to avoid everyone and the questions forever, but for now, they curl into each other and pretend the world ends at the window.

“I love you,” Clarke whispers as Bellamy pulls the blankets over them both. The last time she slept over in his bed was the night they read Arkadia’s original finale scripts and got drunk. This time she’s wearing one of his old tshirts, and she’s here on purpose, and he wants her to feel safe and loved so badly it feels like a physical ache in his chest. He opens his arms and kisses her hair when she scoots closer, her hand grabbing at his hip.

“I love you too,” he whispers. “You’re my best friend, and I… I just want you to be happy.”

“I’ll be okay,” Clarke whispers back, bumping her nose against his chest. “It’s just been a weird day, you know?”

He has to laugh at that.

“Yeah... I know.”

you've been lonely (too long) by highkingelijah  
Arkadia (TV)

29 Mar 2020

**No Archive Warnings Apply**, Lyza Nightbourne/Augustus Sun, Season 7 spec, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, if you don't think they're going to cry when they kiss for the first time youre wrong

Prince Elijah’s death makes everyone realize you never know how much time you have with the ones you love.  


Lyza thinks she might just be cursed.  


Part **13** of arkadia drabbles  


Language: English Words: 19,506 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 464 Kudos: 7599 Hits: 72451

Love, I have wounds by arkabitch  
Arkadia (TV)

29 Mar 2020

**No Archive Warnings Apply**, Lyza Nightbourne/Augustus Sun, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Slow Burn, Friends With Benefits, Secret Relationship, Mutual Pining, Praise Kink, Cunnilingus, Capitalism, am I starting ANOTHER wip? yes

“This doesn’t have to be a big deal,” Augustus says, the first time they sleep together. Lyza immediately proceeds to make it a big deal.  


Language: English Words: 6,836 Chapters: 2/? Comments: 289 Kudos: 7084 Hits: 79276

don't want the sun to burn without you by lywindus  
Arkadia (TV)

28 Mar 2020

**No Archive Warnings Apply**, Lyza Nightbourne/Augustus Sun, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, AU where you’re immortal and unaging until you meet your soulmate, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Assassinations, I’m nostalgic for season 1 all of a sudden…

On the eve of battle, Augustus Sun - orphan, kingkiller, terror of the seven galaxies, yes, _that_ Augustus Sun - meets his soulmate. This is problematic for a few reasons. First, mortal danger is a lot less exhilarating when you’re not immortal all of a sudden. Second, his soulmate is Lyza Nightbourne - yes, _that_ Lyza Nightbourne. Lastly… she was sent to kill him, and judging by the look on her face, she’s still kind of considering it.  


Language: English Words: 23,096 Chapters: 5/? Comments: 502 Kudos: 6864 Hits: 92076

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if the conversation about nothing changing made any sense. *throws hands up in the air*
> 
> Anyway, I hope everyone is enjoying the start of season 7 as much as they can. I haven't seen it yet because I am like, almost totally mentally checked out of canon, but I still have my fingers crossed that it won't resemble the start of this fic at all.
> 
> Reference for tumblr posts [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099596/chapters/50203892)  
Reference for the groupchat code [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19249828)  
Reference for the fake ao3 summaries [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20531333/chapters/50073608#workskin)  
And the [icons](https://grumpybell.tumblr.com/icons) used throughout this fic for the tumblr/tweet portions are [@grumpybell](https://grumpybell.tumblr.com)'s.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as [kindclaws](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com) and find out what I'm currently working on in my [writing updates tag.](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com/tagged/sara's-writing-upd8s) Thank you to the anons who asked about this fic for knocking me out of my funk long enough to update.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **CONTENT WARNINGS:** *flails* So, the content of this chapter was written, at the very latest, in early season 7. I haven't touched it in weeks, and when I sat down to start doing all the formatting a few days ago, I considered changing some lines that didn't age well given the bullshit jroth went and pulled. In the end I decided not to tone down the happiness and the stark contrast between Arkadia's ending and the one that we got: I changed nothing, this is all what I wrote before we knew how dirty season 7 would do us. I hope it feels more comforting than it does bitter, but everyone mourns differently, so please take care. <3
> 
> One more thing: this fic is not ‘a beliza au’ and if you call it that you will make me really uncomfortable. Real person fiction is not a thing that I do, I pay minimal attention to behind the scenes cast stuff, and parallels to real life set drama are unintentional. I am deeply uninterested in speculation, I’m just here to write about fictional space morons.

#

👑  
  
  
Hey hey yourself. what's up? kind of miss you. I literally just left! I know. I feel like I just woke up from a really good dream. oh. I think I know what you mean this is a little stupid but nothing you do is stupid shh. yesterday really happened, right? It really did pretty unbelievable, huh? <3 <3

From: [theojaha@yahoo.com]

To: [arkadia_cast_and_crew_mailing_list] 

Subject: [No Subject] 

I have received several concerned inquiries about my last email re: discretion and a social media blackout on the topic of Miss Griffin and Mr Blake’s relationship. 

1\. Congrats on retaining a moral backbone in Hollywood. Your concerns were both heartwarming and annoying. 

2\. All involved parties have indeed agreed that they would prefer that we keep this secret in the family until season 7 finishes airing. No one wants to deal with that twitter “shitstorm.”

So you may all rest assured that this decision was made with sensitivity and consent I am not just being “a hard ass”. Mr Jordan, your voice carries louder than you think it does. John, please stop replying to official correspondence with cat gifs. You’re a fucking professional.

\- Thelonious

Sent from my Blackberry

  


ARKADIA ALL STARS  
  
Murphy  
lmaooooo Jasper got roasted  
Jasper  
I got roasted????? Jaha called you a FUCKING PROFESSIONAL, how are you going to recover from that sick burn??? Emori  
JAHA ISN’T EVEN ON TWITTER LMAO  
KANE IS THE ONE WHO WOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT "SHITSTORM"  
Murphy  
don’t know what that means I can’t read suddenly Jasper  
Emori what’s the first rule of Bellarke Club?????  
Harper  
YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT BELLARKE CLUB Clarke  
Guys. You know that this is just a media thing.  
For fuck’s sake, you do not have to cover your eyes and scream that you didn’t see anything when Bellamy and I walk into a room together. It was only funny the first few times  
Raven  
Don’t know what you’re talking about, I’ve never even seen you and Bellamy in the same room together, ever. Jasper  
Yeah do they even know each other???? Idk what a bellarke is  
Maya  
The surprise twist of season 7 will be that Lyza and Augustus were actually the same person all along!!!  
I will kill the next person who calls us bellarke and I won’t even be convicted because your cause of death will fall under Jaha’s news blackout  
Miller  
bro........ that's harsh  
Clarke  
On a serious note though, it’s kind of sweet that a bunch of you were ready to throw fists if Jaha was forcing us to keep it quiet. Thanks. you’re good friends <3 Monty  
Are you sure this is what you want?  
Clarke  
Yep Bellamy thinks he’ll get canceled on twitter when they find out. Emori  
Bellamy knows about cancel culture??  
...  
Harper  
I was shocked too  


  


  


Marcus Kane✔  
@markane

Amazing performance from @nathancmiller today, lots of tears on set. You guys are going to be on the edge of your seats for the last few episodes of #Arkadia

❤ 5,243 6:47 PM • March 8, 2020

3.1K people are talking about this

High King Elijah  
@highkingelijah

RIP Jarret

❤ 2,681 7:34 PM • March 8, 2020

2.6K people are talking about this

Call Me Miller  
@nathancmiller

replying to  @highkingelijah

Maybe they were crying because I finally found the hat I lost back in season 2. 🤔 Food for thought

❤ 13,785 8:51 AM • March 9, 2020

9.4K people are talking about this

High King Elijah  
@highkingelijah

NATHAN MILLER REPLIED TO ME AHHHHHHHH

❤ 6,581 9:12 AM • March 9, 2020

5.6K people are talking about this

new day new bullshit  
@morganaz

JARRET/HIS FAVOURITE HAT ENDGAME 2020

❤ 12,342 10:33 AM • March 9, 2020

9.8K people are talking about this

  


better Jaha  
  
  
Hey Clarke says that texting you helps her. I don’t really get it, and knowing you’re not there to respond isn’t comforting, which is why I never did it except that obviously I’m doing it right now we filmed the last episode of arkadia today 14 hour shift, and I’m pretty sure I’ve got bruises from the zero-g rig. but it was worth it. It was so worth it we all wish you’d been there with us I think we told the best story that we could have without you, but… you deserved a happy ending, too. that's all, I guess

  


lywindus lygana_queen arkadia-positivity What five items would you put in a pentagram to summon the season 7 trailer??  lywindus 1\. all my bookmarked fanfiction, 2. the autographed photo I got with Raven and Emori a few years ago, 3. a bottle of all the tears I've cried because it's been six years and Lygustus still haven't kissed, 4. the t-shirt @augustus-ho made for me with the Arkadia logo on it, and 5. a piece of paper saying FANSERVICE, PLS in really big letters???? idk haha. What would you guys put?  lyzadeservesanap Oooh what a great prompt! Okay, her goes: my mecha!Morgana cosplay, four years worth of jossed speculative fiction, a leather jacket (ofc), and can I just like... put @lygana_queen in the pentagram??? Because we never would have met without this fandom and now we talk every single day and I'm missing one so my little brother's toy spaceships lmao  lygana_queen Stooop you're gonna make me cry. I love you too, I can't believe this crazy ride is coming to an end...  lywindus GUYS IT WORKED THE TRAILER JUST DROPPED IM SCREAMING IT LOOKS SO GOOD  Source: arkadia-positivity #AHHHHHH#I'M NOT READY I'M NOT READY #SEND HELP 11,064 notes 

  


ARKADIA ALL STARS  
  
Maya  
Trailer dropping today!  
Harper  
Oh shit, that's today? Raven  
batter down the hatches Murphy  
I'm excited for this year's round of panicking about my death  
Jasper  
I mean...... Murphy  
shhh. the reactions are coming in  


  


  


lygustus or bust  
@arkabitch

At 1:49 it looks like Augustus and Lyza are reaching for each other oh my god oh my god I'm hyperventialting #lygustus

❤ 17,253 2:38 PM • April 12, 2020

14.6K people are talking about this

High King Elijah  
@highkingelijah

replying to  @arkabitch

You’re right!! They thought they were being sneaky by only giving us 2 seconds but this fandom is full of detectives

❤ 15,486 2:41 PM • April 12, 2020

14.1K people are talking about this

new day new bullshit  
@morganaz

I could watch @Ravenrays walking away from explosions in her mechasuit literally all day I'm so gay

❤ 11,392 2:56 PM • April 12, 2020

9.5K people are talking about this

  


meanteeth akfnakgnkagn I can't watch the trailer until the end of my shift, if any of you send me spoilers before I get home I will KILL YOU  #arkadia#three more hours.... #hopefully by the time I get home the meta writers have already written up their explanations lol 4,204 notes 

arkadia-positivity **Anonymous** asked:what does it mean WHAT DOES IT MEAN  Admittedly, I'm a little less sure of my meta this year than I've been with most seasons because it's not entirely clear how much of the interviews we got before Jaha rebooted S7 still holds, but Kane says S7 mirrors S1 and that one pre-reboot interview said that this is the season Lyza loses hope and Augustus and the others bring it back for her. The shot of her tear-streaked face at 0:52 seems to back that up, and that cool pan of everyone's hands reaching out could be part of it. Gonna put the rest of it under a cut because it got long lmao Read More #arkadia#arkadia meta #lygustus#lygustus meta#lyza nightbourne#augustus sun#my meta 9,538 notes 

  


ARKADIA ALL STARS  
  
Emori  
GUYS  
I GOT THE CALLBACK FOR THAT PIRATE SHOW I WAS TELLING YOU GUYS ABOUT  
Clarke  
Omg congrats, you’re going to make such a good pirate!! Emori  
Well it’s not finalized, I’m one of two people they’re deciding on for the main role but   
Murphy  
she's being humble. They loved her. Monty  
congratulations Emori!! What platform is going to be on? for you, I’ll definitely sell my soul to another evil streaming giant. <3  
Harper  
Congrats babeeeeee they’re gonna love you Emori  
AHHHHHHHH THEY JUST CALLED ME AGAIN AND SAID I GOT THE ROLE  
Oh my god oh my god  
What’s everyone else up to on this incredible day??  
Miller  
Congrats!! I just woke up Jasper  
isn’t it like 2pm in your time zone??  
Miller  
Shut up  
Harper  
Well since you asked, I'm actually about to head out on a date...  
Jasper  
OMG WHO  
Harper  
Zoe Monroe? The reporter? We started talking about my stunt work when Jaha brought her on for that behind the scenes tour, and she said she wanted workout tips and last week I finally realized she was hitting on me so yeah…  
Clarke  
you know what they say about useless bisexuals  
Monty  
Harper's biceps strike again!!  
Harper  
Enough about me, what about everyone else?  
Clarke  
Bellamy and I are in Greece looking at olive trees for Attolia. I think our location scouts are starting to avoid him on purpose. I’ll send you guys a photo later, it’s so beautiful  Raven  
how's the sunburn?  
Clarke  
healing........... slowly. :C Raven  
I am sitting on so much cash from Arkadia, I’m doing nothing but sipping margaritas for the next year. Maybe going to some cons though. Scicon 20 anyone?  
Jasper  
YEAH  
I miss you guys, we should have some kind of reunion!  
Monty  
Well.... about that...   


  


From: [greenisgood@gmail.com]

To: [the_squad] 

Subject: [Save The Date] 

Save the date for Monty & Miller's wedding! We want to share June 17, 2021 with our favourite people. Details to follow.

Miller  
  
  
so I did some research ......on what? best man duties all these ideas seem kind of terrible and heterosexual. what if I just fly down the weekend before and we get really drunk and play video games yeah sounds perfect knew I chose you for a reason the seven years of friendship had nothing to do with it, right? right so you excited? I might have smiled once or twice today I won't tell anyone how's dating clarke griffin? honestly not too different from being her friend except that now I can kiss her all the time. and I don't feel bad about looking at her for longer than 3 seconds at a time so it's amazing disgusting. took you long enough.

  


Marcus Kane✔  
@markane

Three days until season 7! @ravenrays is ready. Are you? #Arkadia

❤ 18,243 3:26 PM • May 5, 2020

17.1K people are talking about this

Clarke E Griffin✔  
@clarkegriffin

Who’s excited for the beginning of the end? Have tissues ready for the premiere. We really put our hearts into it. #Arkadia #ThankYouWellsJaha

❤ 24,934 7:39 PM • May 8, 2020

23.2K people are talking about this

High King Elijah✔  
@highkingelijah

Made it all the way to the opening theme before I started bawling #ThankYouWellsJaha

❤ 7,081 8:04 PM • May 8, 2020

6.4K people are talking about this

lygustus or bust✔  
@arkabitch

I'M NOT FUCKING READY

❤ 7,934 8:29 PM • May 8, 2020

7.2K people are talking about this

  


arkadia-positivity lywindus lygana_queen Who else is a fucking mess after that premiere?  lywindus *raises hand* I can’t believe they pieced that all together with leftover footage… I cried the whole way through.  arkadia-positivity I held it together until Wells’ name in the credits and then the damn just broke  Source: arkadia-positivity #i miss him so much#i'm really glad we got to say goodbye #the whole episode felt like a love letter to elijah 15,204 notes 

  


Raven  
  
  
how are you and Clarke holding up? did you watch it? Yeah I think she’s okay. we both cried, I made her drink a lot of water, she went to bed early. yknow. you? I'm okay. Zeke and I are staying at the Sinclairs' tonight actually. I changed Mrs Sinclair's oil and installed new brake pads. I wanted to give the whole undercarriage a look too because she says it's been squeaking but they literally dragged me out from underneath the car glad you're with friends tonight but you know that sometimes you're allowed to talk about your feelings and you don't have to like, take apart an entire car instead yep. a little hypocritical of you tho ? you only actually answered half my question ... I’m okay, Reyes. but we’ll be keeping busy and laying as low on twitter as Kane lets us. yeah fair. call me up next time you guys are passing through LA

  


arkadia-positivity augustus-ho lywindus So I know the answers the cast gave at Scicon before Jaha canceled the original season 7 are now more or less invalid, but… I still can’t help but wonder what the original story was and how different this version is. Because I remember Clarke saying something about Lyza and Augustus mirroring each other in that Augustus had seen the worst of humanity in season 1 and didn’t believe anyone was good or worth saving, including himself, and then they flip by season 7 where Prince Elijah’s death just totally breaks Lyza’s faith in people and she’s ready to walk away and let it all burn down and he’s the one saying, _wait, there’s something worth saving in us._ They’re so beautiful  augustus-ho We love romantic narrative foils  arkadia-positivity I can’t stop crying about the fact that Lyza is so close to giving up on peace and we get that glimpse of the darkness she’s always tried to hold back but AUGUSTUS AND HER FRIENDS refuse to give up on her and each other.  Source: lywindus #how did jaha accidentally write the most amazing starcrossed romance ever#i can't read this as anything but endgame #they're so in love and so supportive?????? 14,847 notes 

  


long black cloud comin' round by lywindus  
Arkadia (TV)

23 May 2020

**No Archive Warnings Apply**, Lyza Nightbourne/Augustus Sun, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, spoilers for 7x03, Fluff, So Much Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss

What if the flight back to mission headquarters after the Andromeda job took a little longer? What if they had enough time to rest and reassure each other and talk about Augustus putting his entire body between her and the outlaws?  


What if they were ready for love?  


Language: English Words: 5,026 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 94 Kudos: 5299 Hits: 17521

trium by lygana_queen  
Arkadia (TV)

12 Apr 2020

**No Archive Warnings Apply**, Lyza Nightbourne/Augustus Sun/Morgana La Guerda, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonverse, me standing in front of a corkboard covered in red strings like 'here's how lymorgustus can still sail', Polyamory, Mutual Pining, Relationship Negotiation

Morgana's favourite mornings are the ones where they're all home and crammed into her military-issue single person bunk. They'd have more room in Lyza's quarters but Morgana thinks they prefer it like this, Lyza pressed up against the wall, Augustus always nearest to the door, always ready to protect them, and Morgana warm and safe in the middle. Her biorhythms mean she's always the first one awake, but the morning after the Ra Kotu turn down peace talks, she lays still for a while, listening to her lovers breathe and thinking about how easily she could lose everything.  


Language: English Words: 59,356 Chapters: 17/? Comments: 289 Kudos: 9084 Hits: 68276

A Question Of Family by lywindus  
Arkadia (TV)

19 June 2020

**No Archive Warnings Apply**, Lyza Nightbourne/Augustus Sun, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, the whole squad is here, spec based on the trailer, First Kiss

prompt from augustus-ho: can you write something about lygustus breaking the news to their friends that they're together?  


You didn't specify if you wanted modern or canon so I hope some fluffy season seven spec is okay! The trailer for 7x08 has me so hype, I can't wait to see everyone working together.  


Language: English Words: 11,263 Chapters: 2/? Comments: 182 Kudos: 3464 Hits: 48796

  


meanteeth I know the original earth was destroyed in canon but I’m glad the aliens have found so many leather substitutes to make studded jackets out of. Love that everyone in this galaxy dresses like they’re in a biker gang.  #arkadia#seriously tho #the costume department sure likes their studs 6,374 notes 

  


ARKADIA ALL STARS  
  
Jasper  
guys we're trending and we haven't even gotten to the kiss episode  
is that good?  
Jasper  
you still don't have a twitter account, do you? what's a twitter  
Emori  
it's where cool people hang out on the internet Bellamy  
also everyone with anger issues ever  
what's the internet  
Miller  
I haven't been keeping up, what episode did they just air? Maya  
Daedalus' Dusk. The lygustus kiss is next week 😉  
Murphy  
oh, this should b fun Maya  
But yes, Bellamy, it's good that we're trending. People are really enjoying the season. Raven  
A moment of silence for the alternate universe where we didn't miraculously convince Jaha to start over and the original season was airing right now instead  
Miller  
yikes  
Jasper  
oh god I just had a full body shudder  
Clarke  
I'm so glad that we got the goodbye that we did. <3 What a way to go out, huh?

  


  


Marcus Kane✔  
@markane

You're going to want to watch this one live, folks. #Arkadia

❤ 14,243 5:52 PM • July 17, 2020

13.1K people are talking about this

lygustus or bust  
@arkabitch

replying to  @markane

don't bait me like this marcus i s2g #lygustus

❤ 17,653 6:38 PM • July 17, 2020

15.6K people are talking about this

High King Elijah  
@highkingelijah

OH MY GOD OHTG MY OGHS

❤ 26,781 8:44 PM • July 17, 2020

25.6K people are talking about this

new day new bullshit  
@morganaz

THEY ACTUALLY KISSED RIGHT LIKE FOR REALS THIS ISN'T A COLLECTIVE HALLUCINATION

❤ 29,392 9:13 PM • July 17, 2020

28.5K people are talking about this

lygustus or bust  
@arkabitch

ALL THOSE YEARS THEY TOLD US IT WAS PLATONIC!!! #LYGUSTUS IS ENDGAME BITCHES

❤ 30,653 9:42 PM • July 17, 2020

28.6K people are talking about this

  


arkadiansun  lygana_queen arkadiansun I started screaming the second they kissed and I still haven't stopped. How beautiful was that scene??? I can't even complain about waiting six years anymore! Anyway I started regretting drawing this about halfway through the background but mama didn't raise a quitter. Happy canon Lygustus everyone!!  lywindus Your art finally made it sink in that last episode was real and not a fever dream and now I'm crying on public transport <3  arkadiansun #babe did you forget to draw the levers **fUCK** #I HAD ONE JOB#lmaooooo i've stared at this for too long already and it has too many notes to fix now #pretend the levers are just outside of the crop 17,204 notes 

  


the one and only✔  
@jasperjjordan

im hilarious

❤ 2,498 5:58 PM • August 14, 2020

837 people are talking about this

High King Elijah✔  
@highkingelijah

Last episode... I can't believe the show that has been part of my life for seven years is coming to an end. I love this fandom, our canon may be ending but I'm not going anywhere #Arkadia

❤ 13,081 7:41 PM • August 14, 2020

11.4K people are talking about this

Raven #1 Reyes  
@ravenrays

Farewell, Morgana. I don't have the words for what it meant to me to play this defiant, powerful, disabled badass woman for seven years. Rest easy soldier. #Arkadia

❤ 22,619 9:02 PM • August 14, 2020

19.3K people are talking about this

new day new bullshit  
@morganaz

❤ 16,498 9:27 PM • August 14, 2020

15.4K people are talking about this

  


  


augustus-ho The last time I was this okay about a bunch of my favourite characters dying was Rogue One… don’t get me wrong I still need 100 fix it aus where everyone lives immediately, but like… it was okay, you know? It wasn’t grimdark for the sake of being grimdark. No one’s death felt cheap. It was okay. We’re going to be okay.  #arkadia#don't get me wrong i am currently sobbing #but they died for LOVE and that MATTERS 14,603 notes 

lygana_queen lywindus lygana_queen I saw a great tumblr post a while ago about humanity and emotion and relationships being the heart of sci fi, like that’s what people read/watch for, not the space laser battles or the cgi or the aliens, and I think that’s why season 7 is hitting us so hard, because everyone can relate to stories about losing a friend/family member and trying to adjust to their sudden absence in your life, or finding love only to realize that you feel like you don’t deserve it anymore, or being depressed and trying to push everyone away from you and feeling guilty and grateful at the same time when they don’t leave you.  lywindus The end of Arkadia worked because it was a story about people and love… that happened to also have a lot of spaceship battles and explosions and leather jackets.  lygana_queen You get it <3  Source: arkadia-positivity #arkadia#i have so many feelings #i'm not ready to leave this universe yet has anyone started writing post canon fic yet?????? 12,163 notes 

  


Clarke E Griffin✔  
@clarkegriffin

Last year I had to bury my best friend, and I couldn’t even begin to put nearly three decades of memories into words… This quote was the only eulogy I could give at the time. (1/3)

❤ 25,934 11:03 PM • August 14, 2020

23.2K people are talking about this

Clarke E Griffin✔  
@clarkegriffin

“I think here I will leave you. It has come to seem there is no perfect ending. Indeed, there are infinite endings. Or perhaps, once one begins, there are only endings.” — Louise Glück (2/3)

❤ 29,364 11:04 PM • August 14, 2020

28.2K people are talking about this

Clarke E Griffin✔  
@clarkegriffin

He would have loved to see the reactions to the end of #Arkadia pouring in. Thanks, everyone. I’m sad to see our time together come to an end, but… let this be another beginning. (3/3)

❤ 27,934 11:05 PM • August 14, 2020

28.2K people are talking about this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Do a 100% social media chapter," I said, "It'll be fun!" I said. The formatting on this chapter alone, not including writing it, took about 10 hours, and I'm sure there are still some mistakes in there. *sobs* if you see anything that looks easy to fix like a date that doesn't match up or a wrong profile picture, feel free to let me know! If the icons are wandering out of their bounds again, just..... pretend they aren't. They like to do that.
> 
> Y'know. This fic almost had a very different vibe - my last social media fic was about the gap between reality and how social media mythologizes our heroes, sometimes in horrible, invading ways. Having seen the extent of jroth's asshattery, I am very glad I made this fic to focus on the loving parts of fandom, instead. Because we're gonna really need each other in the coming weeks. Thank you to everyone who contributed to our loud, chaotic, passionate family - to those of you who liveblogged and made edits and music videos and tweeted and donated and wrote fix-it aus and commented with love and encouragement and made the gifsets that lured so many of us in. We have good hearts. Jroth can't take that away. I'll be sticking around for a bit. I still have a lot of stories in me, and a lot of friendships in this community that will last long after the finale.
> 
> Much thanks goes to [@grumpybell](https://grumpybell.tumblr.com) for allowing me to use her beautiful [icons](https://grumpybell.tumblr.com/icons) for most of the twitter and tumblr profiles.  
Reference for tweets [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22517134/chapters/53929063#workskin)  
Reference for tumblr posts [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099596/chapters/50203892)  
Reference for the groupchat [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19249828)  
Reference for the email code [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/A_Guide_to_Coding_and_Fanworks/works/7953412)  
Reference for the fake ao3 summaries [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20531333/chapters/50073608#workskin)  
I drew the fake kiss fanart! I am not very good at faces, pls forgive me. I used a shitty crop of the data center from rogue one as reference for the background and like three different very artistic photos of people making out underwater for the bodies. Apparently that's a whole trend in indie photography. (And I really did forget to add the levers. And then I didn't want to.)
> 
> And lastly, a huge, teary thanks to the readers who nominated this fic for the bellarke fic awards! It's been nominated for Best Social Media, Best Found Family, and Best Romance. (Holy shit!)
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as [kindclaws](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com) and find out what I'm currently working on in my [writing updates tag.](https://kindclaws.tumblr.com/tagged/sara's-writing-upd8s)  



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